The Asian Capitalists are creating A vast right-wing libertarian conspiracy
9

patrons

$48
per month
Well, this is it. Our Koch Brothers' funding has dried up, and we've now resorted to e-begging. Please donate generously to our cause. We're Asians--we don't know what it's like to be poor...

Tiers
Child Laborer
$1 or more per month 1 patron
Thanks for the dollar, now get back to work. Colin Kaepernick sacrificed everything, so those Nike logos better be sewn on real nice.


Perks:

 

- We'll post some things on Patreon once in a while to keep you entertained... No refunds.


Middle Manager
$2 or more per month 1 patron
This is where your dreams come to die. Legal says we have diversity quotas to fill, so unless you identify as black, Muslim, trans, AND gender non-binary, you're gonna be stuck here forever.


Perks:


- On the plus side, you can get some life advice from Dr. William T. Science (Bill). Twice a month, he will answer a question from a patron who is at least a middle manager, and the child laborers and freeloaders won't get to see any of it.

Shareholder
$5 or more per month 4 patrons
Just buy one share, and you too can own a piece of the means of production, and become a bourgeoisie capitalist oppressor. It really is that simple!


Perks:


- As a shareholder you will also get access to our shareholder channels on Discord, where nothing particularly interesting happens, but it sounds cool...

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

Includes Discord rewards
Capitalist Pig
$10 or more per month 3 patrons
If you're here, you probably hate women and minorities, and want millions to die from tax cuts. Like, who will build the roads when Trump literally deports all of the Mexicans? Think about it...


Perks:


- As a fellow patriarchal capitalist, we'll take and discuss future video ideas from/with you. After all, we could always use more expertise on how to maintain the wage gap and oppress more minorities from fellow capitalists. 

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

- Access to our shareholders' area in our Discord

Includes Discord rewards
Champagne Socialist
$25 or more per month 0 patrons
Welcome, comrade! Isn't democratic socialism great? We get democratic beach houses and democratic million-dollar paychecks, and all we have to do is tell poor people that capitalism is bad. Party at Michael Moore's house!


Perks:


- If you got a website or a link that you want to shill, we'll mention it once a month at the end of one of our videos, and include the link in the description. 

- Discuss future video ideas

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

- Access to our shareholders' area in our Discord

Includes Discord rewards
Goals
$48 of $2,500 per month
We'll actually up our production to *gasp* 2 videos per week. A video editor will be hired, and we'll make sure that our shareholders are happy.
1 of 2
Well, this is it. Our Koch Brothers' funding has dried up, and we've now resorted to e-begging. Please donate generously to our cause. We're Asians--we don't know what it's like to be poor...

Recent posts by The Asian Capitalists

Tiers
Child Laborer
$1 or more per month 1 patron
Thanks for the dollar, now get back to work. Colin Kaepernick sacrificed everything, so those Nike logos better be sewn on real nice.


Perks:

 

- We'll post some things on Patreon once in a while to keep you entertained... No refunds.


Middle Manager
$2 or more per month 1 patron
This is where your dreams come to die. Legal says we have diversity quotas to fill, so unless you identify as black, Muslim, trans, AND gender non-binary, you're gonna be stuck here forever.


Perks:


- On the plus side, you can get some life advice from Dr. William T. Science (Bill). Twice a month, he will answer a question from a patron who is at least a middle manager, and the child laborers and freeloaders won't get to see any of it.

Shareholder
$5 or more per month 4 patrons
Just buy one share, and you too can own a piece of the means of production, and become a bourgeoisie capitalist oppressor. It really is that simple!


Perks:


- As a shareholder you will also get access to our shareholder channels on Discord, where nothing particularly interesting happens, but it sounds cool...

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

Includes Discord rewards
Capitalist Pig
$10 or more per month 3 patrons
If you're here, you probably hate women and minorities, and want millions to die from tax cuts. Like, who will build the roads when Trump literally deports all of the Mexicans? Think about it...


Perks:


- As a fellow patriarchal capitalist, we'll take and discuss future video ideas from/with you. After all, we could always use more expertise on how to maintain the wage gap and oppress more minorities from fellow capitalists. 

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

- Access to our shareholders' area in our Discord

Includes Discord rewards
Champagne Socialist
$25 or more per month 0 patrons
Welcome, comrade! Isn't democratic socialism great? We get democratic beach houses and democratic million-dollar paychecks, and all we have to do is tell poor people that capitalism is bad. Party at Michael Moore's house!


Perks:


- If you got a website or a link that you want to shill, we'll mention it once a month at the end of one of our videos, and include the link in the description. 

- Discuss future video ideas

- Life advice with Dr. William T. Science

- Access to our shareholders' area in our Discord

Includes Discord rewards