Never Got Famous

is creating audiobooks, movies, livestreams, podcasts + more

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  • No need to go looking all over the internet for what Albert is up to, it's all here - everything he does gets emailed to you!
  • Lots of podcasts and projects that are exclusive to Patreon  - including Albert University, the life-changing (according to him) Zen Deluxe, and are you feeling down?  Try Drinking Outdoors with Albert, or you can simply Relax With Albert, or just give up on the day and fall asleep with Albert's Actual Bedtime Stories.
  • Access to downloads of the original NGF podcasts, including Actual Science, Walks with Albert, Idiots and Overlords, and more.
  • All of the audiobooks, instantly streamable!  Blood and Muppets, Harry Potter and the Trespassing Functional Alcoholic, Fraggle Oblivion...all of them!
  • Any audio projects in progress, patrons get to hear the completed chapters along the way before public release.
  • Downloads of the puppet movies at high quality, including Only Interstellar Pinball Lives Forever, Jesus Hates You Now, Summer of the Chew Toy Soul, and more.
  • The full archive of Albert's many livestreams, including Muppet Monday, Albert's Treehouse, Drinking with AlbertAnti-Sex Gaming Night...and more. (and with copyright-muted audio restored)
  • So many hours and hours and hours of things, you can just go ahead and burn that Netflix membership right now.  Disney+?  HBO Max?  Burn them all and just live in Albert's head.  What have you got to lose?  (don't answer that)



About Never Got Famous

NEVER GOT FAMOUS is the continuing story of Albert Snodoloberm, a stand-up comedian for twenty years, and nothing - no fame, no glory, just horrible memories of being abused and ridiculed by audiences...but he remains determined to do all the projects he would have done if he had gotten famous, just on a much (MUCH) lower budget.  Albert is a spirit animal for anyone with big dreams that have fizzled (for now) - something a lot of us experience multiple times in life.  Even if we hit the jackpot someday, it took a few midnight burials of our previous dreams to get there...

If you become a patron, you unlock free streams of Albert's audiobooks and comedy albums, including Blood and MuppetsHarry Potter and the Trespassing Functional Alcoholic, Bowling for Blood, Fraggle Oblivion, Memories of Spock, the upcoming Hello Netflix, etc.  Plus there's lots of projects going on that have only been released here, like Zen Deluxe, Albert University, Albert's Actual Bedtime Stories, Drinking Outdoors With Albert, and more always on the way.

Before becoming Albert, I was making existential puppet movies.  I tend to think of Albert as another puppet, a big biological one. But like all disquieting puppets, it's turning out that he is strangely indestructible.  No matter how many times he crashes and burns, he tries again.  Patrons also get access to downloadable files of all those puppet movies - Summer of the Chew Toy Soul, Jesus Hates You Now, Only Interstellar Pinball Lives Forever, Hell Leaks Laughter, and the non-puppet There Was Once a Bitter Bastard.  I'm putting most of them on YouTube these days to release them into the wild forever - but the original HQ files have more detail....the colors, the puppety textures....

Plus you get the entire archive of Albert's livestreams (available only here on Patreon) including Muppet Mondays, Anti-Sex Gaming Night, and the beloved Albert's Treehouse.  You even get access to the old Live Hot Puppet Chat episodes, which are really too silly and tasteless to exist - but if you have a few drinks, they might still be a good time.  They're definitely a freaky glimpse into what 2005 humor was like, before that kind of comedy could get you in trouble...

Anyhow, many many thanks, and never let dem bastards get you down...
  - Tristan ... aka Albert

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