Christian Kaleb Caruzo

Christian Kaleb Caruzo

Creating unscripted live action socialism survival

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Thank you

per month
  • My eternal gratitude
  • ???
  • I'll play vidya games with you or something.

The Char Aznable tier

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  • The $1 tier but three times faster (and in red)

The Virtue Signaler

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  • All of the previous rewards
  • You get to tell all your friends that you helped a South Smerican guy help his family.



About Christian Kaleb Caruzo

Who the #[email protected]&%* are you?

You may recognize me as that Venezuelan guy with a Char Aznable avatar that shitposts on twitter dot com. A while ago, a certain tweet of mine involving a game's virtual currency vs the currency of the country with the world's most proven oil reserves exploded and landed on Fortune, Fox News Radio, Reddit, 4chan, everywhere. As absurd as it sounds, it encapsulates just a tiny consequence of the bigger collapse my country is sadly going through, and a glimpse at the death of our currency, one that at some point in its history was worth more than the mighty US Dollar. 

It doesn't matter when you read the above paragraph, by the time you read it the situation has become much worse than the week before—that's how its been for the past years.

As you may or may have not heard, my country is on a pretty dire situation, not just politically, but socially and economically, even our infrastructure is on its last legs. Our currency is dead and hyperinflation has destroyed our acquisitive power; things that you may take for granted have become a luxury few can afford here, the sheer majority of this country's citizens earn less than $5 per month. 

With each passing week, the situation continues to become much worse, hyperinflation is out of control, everything becomes more expensive at a rapid and exponential rate. No matter how hard you work here, it's a fight you cannot ever hope to possibly win without some sort of external help.

In addition to that, if you've checked my Twitter timeline you'd know of the three-year long fight against cancer that my mother went through. It was a hard fight with everything stacked against her, especially in Venezuela's obliterated health system, where you can't even find the simplest over-the-counter meds, let alone find the chemo that she needed to have a fighting chance. 

It was thanks to the support of my Patrons, and everyone else that helped out that I was able to support her and take care of her during the last eight months of her life, I will be eternally grateful for that.

Since Patreon is about actually making content, I am working on a fiction novel, it's my dream project long in the planning. As it stands, I'm in the process of polishing its 3rd draft, it sits at around 630 pages. Once I go through this step I will see about my editing and publishing options considering my current location.

I am also slowly building a blog,, in order to publish articles about living in Venezuela, from my point of view and experiences, as well as other topics of interest.

The Goal. 

Objective: Survive and Escape.

The purpose of this Patreon is to help me and my brother survive through this Socialist Utopia, with hyperinflation so out of control, everything becomes more expensive at such a rapid pace, some meds have skyrocketed in price (if you can find them that is). Ever since my mother passed away I've been taking care of my brother, who, due to his mental condition cannot fend for himself.

Your contribution will help cover all of our expenses (food, toiletries, and the occasional medicine), and it would grant me more free time and ease of mind to work on my novel manuscript and other future projects, even the slightest contribution goes a long way here.

Your help will also allow me to save and gather enough funds to be able to afford an escape plan for my my brother and I. I'm currently in the process of navigating through a nightmarish bureaucratic process so that I can get us both out of here. This is the ultimate goal in all this, my original plan intended for the three of us to escape together, but with my mother's passing it'll be a bittersweet plan. Getting the two of us out as soon as possible so that my brother can have a future, it is what I promised my mother I would do.

The Disclosure:

What I will use your hard earned money on.

Being completely honest about all of this is paramount to me; that being said, I will use your money in the following order of priority:

  1. Help my mother by covering all of her ever increasing medical expenses derived from her cancer, from medicine to scans and all that's in between, and hopefully her chemotherapy costs if we finally are able to find itThank you for helping me help my mother during the last 8 months of her life, one day I'll be able to repay you all in some form.
  2. Cover the food costs for my family: hyperinflation is showing no signs of slowing down and things are exponentially increasing in price so hard and fast—in addition to the fact that with the effective death of the Venezuelan Bolivar what remains of our economy has begun to be dollarized in a public manner (which is a currency that not everyone has access to). It is thanks to your patronage that I'm able to get food for both my brother and myself.
  3. Other living expenses, such as water, the occasional meds, and other escape plan-related costs, as well as any unforeseen ones (i.e. household and vehicle repairs)
  4. The "Get out of Venezuela, Kaleb!" fund. (Nowadays most airplane tickets have to be bought from outside the country due to absurd prices/lack of available options, only ~10 airlines remain operational)
  5. Vidya Gaems. (Don't say I didn't warned you, but yes, this isn't a priority, it will all be primarily spent on food, meds, and escaping Venezuela)

I will always be transparent with how I spent those funds at the end of each month, you deserve nothing less.

One day, when I'm finally free from this, my once beloved and proud country, do know that I will do anything in my power to make it up to you, I'm a man of my word.

Hah you used your real name, time to dox you!

It takes less than three minutes to find my name on Google since I did used it on Twitter before. My pic is somewhere on a UN-related organization's website (if that particular article is still up, let me know if you find it), have fun calling my former employer, the new boss isn't fond of me anyways.

Besides, if I'm to publish a novel I'd have to use my full name sooner or later, so I might as well start now.


With nothing else to say, let me avail myself of this opportunity to thank you all for reading this, and to further thank you if you do decide to throw a few bucks at me. You all deserve actual tangible rewards, but being in Venezuelan prevents me from providing them in a proper manner, but do know that if there's anything I can be of assistance to you, please, let me know and I will gladly do my best to help you out (even if it's just vidya gaems or anything else).

Best regards,

-Christian Kaleb Caruzo
78% complete
  • Complete coverage of food costs.
  • Allows me to work on my novel full time.
  • The ability to fuel the "Get out of Venezuela" fund.
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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 72 exclusive posts
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 72 exclusive posts

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