Christian Kaleb Caruzo is creating unscripted live action socialism survival
67

patrons

Who the #[email protected]&%* are you?


You may recognize me as that Venezuelan guy with a Char Aznable avatar that shitposts on twitter dot com. A while ago, a certain tweet of mine involving a game's virtual currency vs the currency of the country with the world's most proven oil reserves exploded and landed on Fortune, Fox News Radio, Reddit, 4chan, everywhere. As absurd as it sounds, it encapsulates just a tiny consequence of the bigger collapse my country is sadly going through, and a glimpse at the death of our currency, one that at some point in its history was worth more than the mighty US Dollar. 

No, not a single "journalist" bothered to contact me about it, even though I got them all them sweet juicy clicks. It doesn't matter when you read the above paragraph, by the time you read it the situation has become much worse than the week before.

Since we live in a world of e-fame and e-celebs, I might as well use my unwarranted self importance and grossly overestimated fake e-fame to open a Patreon, cause lets be honest here: if people donate to others for the promise of lewds/nudes, donate to catfish that exploit the malleable nature of the male thirst, and donate to accounts whose purpose is to dox citizens because of their political beliefs, then why the hell not.

Now, as you may or may have not heard, my country is on a pretty dire situation, not just politically, but socially and economically. Our currency is dead and hyperinflation has destroyed our acquisitive power; things that you take for granted have become a luxury few can afford here, people earn less than $3 per month. 

With each passing week, the situation continues to become much worse, hyperinflation is out of control, everything becomes more expensive at a rapid and exponential rate and no matter how hard you work here, it's a fight you cannot ever hope to possibly win without some sort of external help.

In addition to that, if you've checked my twitter timeline you'd know of the three-year long fight against cancer that my mother went through, it was a hard fight with everything stacked against her, especially in Venezuela's obliterated health system, where you can't even find the simplest over-the-counter meds. 

It was thanks to the support of my Patrons, and everyone else that helped out that I was able to support her and take care of her during the last eight months of her life, I will be eternally grateful for that.

Since Patreon is about actually making content, I am working on a fiction novel, it's my dream project long in the planning, I'm hoping to finish the first draft in a couple months so I can clean it up and figure out how to publish it worldwide.

I am also slowly building a blog, ckaleb.com, in order to publish articles about living in Venezuela, from my point of view and experiences, as well as other topics of interest.


The Goal. 

Objective: Survive and Escape.


The purpose of this Patreon is to help me and my brother survive through this Socialist Utopia, with hyperinflation so out of control, everything becomes more expensive at such a rapid pace, some meds have skyrocketed in price (if you can find them that is).

Getting basic things such as rice, flour, toiletries, etc. has to be done through contraband if you don't want to spend hours and hours on a line just to see if they allow you to buy a limited amount of X or Y item.

Your contribution will help cover all of our expenses, and it would grant me more free time and ease of mind to work on my novel manuscript, even the slightest contribution goes a long way here.

Your help will also allow me to gather enough funds to be able to afford an escape plan for my my brother and I. This is the ultimate goal in all this, my original plan intended for the three of us to escape together, but with my mother's passing it'll be a bittersweet plan. Getting the two of us out as soon as possible so that my young brother can have a future, it is what I promised my mother I would do.


The Disclosure:

What I will use your hard earned money on.


Being completely honest about all of this is paramount to me; that being said, I will use your money in the following order of priority:

  1. Help my mother by covering all of her ever increasing medical expenses derived from her cancer, from medicine to scans and all that's in between, and hopefully her chemotherapy costs if we finally are able to find it. Thank you for helping me with this for the past 8 months, one day I'll be able to repay you all in some form.
  2. Cover the Food costs for my family, hyperinflation is showing no signs of slowing down and things are exponentially increasing in price so hard and fast.
  3. The "Get out of Venezuela, Kaleb!" fund. (Nowadays most airplane tickets have to be bought from outside the country due to absurd prices/lack of available options, only ~11 airlines remain operational)
  4. Vidya Gaems. (Don't say I didn't warned you, but yes, this isn't a priority, it will all be primarily spent on food, meds, and escaping Venezuela)

I will always be transparent with how I spent those funds at the end of each month, you deserve nothing less.

One day, when I'm finally free from this, my once beloved and proud country, do know that I will do anything in my power to make it up to you, I'm a man of my word.


Hah you used your real name, time to dox you!


It takes less than three minutes to find my name on Google since I did used it on Twitter before. My pic is somewhere on a UN-related organization's website (if that particular article is still up, let me know if you find it), have fun calling my former employer, the new boss isn't fond of me anyways.

Besides, if I'm to publish a novel I'd have to use my full name sooner or later, so I might as well start now.

--

With nothing else to say, let me avail myself of this opportunity to thank you all for reading this, and to further thank you if you do decide to throw a few bucks at me. You all deserve actual tangible rewards, but being an poor Venezuelan fella prevents me from doing such a thing, but do know that if there's anything I can be of assistance to you, please, let me know and I will gladly do my best to help you out (even if its just vidya gaems).

Best regards,

-Christian Kaleb Caruzo


P.S. If Video Games and Sci-fi is your thing, please check out Joe's Patreon.

If Video Games and awesome sprite art is your thing, please check out Kashou's Patreon.

If you love Comic Books, please check out Graded Point Five's Patreon
Tiers
Thank you
$1 or more per month
  • My eternal gratitude
  • ???
  • I'll play vidya games with you or something.
The Char Aznable tier
$3 or more per month
  • The $1 tier but three times faster (and in red)
The Virtue Signaler
$5 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • You get to tell all your friends that you helped a South Smerican guy help his family.
ten bux lol
$10 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • The satisfaction that you didn't spend ten bux to post on a forum. #MyersTwitter
The SSJ2 tier
$15 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • Like the $1 one but 15x stronger
  • Pretty sure you wouldn't want to see pics of my butt (they do not exist for a reason)
  • I'll gladly help you translate stuff into Spanish.
The SSJ3
$20 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • And this is to go even further beyond.
  • Nope, still no lewds, the world is better this way. 
The Hyper Virtue Signaler
$50 or more per month
  • All of the above
  • You get to tell all your friends how you helped me fund the initial steps into a man's freedom (and burgers)
ten bux kaioken x10
$100 or more per month
  • All of the above
  • You get to tell all your friends how you helped a guy bail his family from the clutches of Socialism instead of spending ten bux to post on a forum ten times.
Goals
100% complete
  • Food and further med costs.
  • Allows me to work on my novel fulltime.
  • Begin seriously fueling the "Get out of Venezuela" fund.
2 of 2

Who the #[email protected]&%* are you?


You may recognize me as that Venezuelan guy with a Char Aznable avatar that shitposts on twitter dot com. A while ago, a certain tweet of mine involving a game's virtual currency vs the currency of the country with the world's most proven oil reserves exploded and landed on Fortune, Fox News Radio, Reddit, 4chan, everywhere. As absurd as it sounds, it encapsulates just a tiny consequence of the bigger collapse my country is sadly going through, and a glimpse at the death of our currency, one that at some point in its history was worth more than the mighty US Dollar. 

No, not a single "journalist" bothered to contact me about it, even though I got them all them sweet juicy clicks. It doesn't matter when you read the above paragraph, by the time you read it the situation has become much worse than the week before.

Since we live in a world of e-fame and e-celebs, I might as well use my unwarranted self importance and grossly overestimated fake e-fame to open a Patreon, cause lets be honest here: if people donate to others for the promise of lewds/nudes, donate to catfish that exploit the malleable nature of the male thirst, and donate to accounts whose purpose is to dox citizens because of their political beliefs, then why the hell not.

Now, as you may or may have not heard, my country is on a pretty dire situation, not just politically, but socially and economically. Our currency is dead and hyperinflation has destroyed our acquisitive power; things that you take for granted have become a luxury few can afford here, people earn less than $3 per month. 

With each passing week, the situation continues to become much worse, hyperinflation is out of control, everything becomes more expensive at a rapid and exponential rate and no matter how hard you work here, it's a fight you cannot ever hope to possibly win without some sort of external help.

In addition to that, if you've checked my twitter timeline you'd know of the three-year long fight against cancer that my mother went through, it was a hard fight with everything stacked against her, especially in Venezuela's obliterated health system, where you can't even find the simplest over-the-counter meds. 

It was thanks to the support of my Patrons, and everyone else that helped out that I was able to support her and take care of her during the last eight months of her life, I will be eternally grateful for that.

Since Patreon is about actually making content, I am working on a fiction novel, it's my dream project long in the planning, I'm hoping to finish the first draft in a couple months so I can clean it up and figure out how to publish it worldwide.

I am also slowly building a blog, ckaleb.com, in order to publish articles about living in Venezuela, from my point of view and experiences, as well as other topics of interest.


The Goal. 

Objective: Survive and Escape.


The purpose of this Patreon is to help me and my brother survive through this Socialist Utopia, with hyperinflation so out of control, everything becomes more expensive at such a rapid pace, some meds have skyrocketed in price (if you can find them that is).

Getting basic things such as rice, flour, toiletries, etc. has to be done through contraband if you don't want to spend hours and hours on a line just to see if they allow you to buy a limited amount of X or Y item.

Your contribution will help cover all of our expenses, and it would grant me more free time and ease of mind to work on my novel manuscript, even the slightest contribution goes a long way here.

Your help will also allow me to gather enough funds to be able to afford an escape plan for my my brother and I. This is the ultimate goal in all this, my original plan intended for the three of us to escape together, but with my mother's passing it'll be a bittersweet plan. Getting the two of us out as soon as possible so that my young brother can have a future, it is what I promised my mother I would do.


The Disclosure:

What I will use your hard earned money on.


Being completely honest about all of this is paramount to me; that being said, I will use your money in the following order of priority:

  1. Help my mother by covering all of her ever increasing medical expenses derived from her cancer, from medicine to scans and all that's in between, and hopefully her chemotherapy costs if we finally are able to find it. Thank you for helping me with this for the past 8 months, one day I'll be able to repay you all in some form.
  2. Cover the Food costs for my family, hyperinflation is showing no signs of slowing down and things are exponentially increasing in price so hard and fast.
  3. The "Get out of Venezuela, Kaleb!" fund. (Nowadays most airplane tickets have to be bought from outside the country due to absurd prices/lack of available options, only ~11 airlines remain operational)
  4. Vidya Gaems. (Don't say I didn't warned you, but yes, this isn't a priority, it will all be primarily spent on food, meds, and escaping Venezuela)

I will always be transparent with how I spent those funds at the end of each month, you deserve nothing less.

One day, when I'm finally free from this, my once beloved and proud country, do know that I will do anything in my power to make it up to you, I'm a man of my word.


Hah you used your real name, time to dox you!


It takes less than three minutes to find my name on Google since I did used it on Twitter before. My pic is somewhere on a UN-related organization's website (if that particular article is still up, let me know if you find it), have fun calling my former employer, the new boss isn't fond of me anyways.

Besides, if I'm to publish a novel I'd have to use my full name sooner or later, so I might as well start now.

--

With nothing else to say, let me avail myself of this opportunity to thank you all for reading this, and to further thank you if you do decide to throw a few bucks at me. You all deserve actual tangible rewards, but being an poor Venezuelan fella prevents me from doing such a thing, but do know that if there's anything I can be of assistance to you, please, let me know and I will gladly do my best to help you out (even if its just vidya gaems).

Best regards,

-Christian Kaleb Caruzo


P.S. If Video Games and Sci-fi is your thing, please check out Joe's Patreon.

If Video Games and awesome sprite art is your thing, please check out Kashou's Patreon.

If you love Comic Books, please check out Graded Point Five's Patreon

Recent posts by Christian Kaleb Caruzo

Tiers
Thank you
$1 or more per month
  • My eternal gratitude
  • ???
  • I'll play vidya games with you or something.
The Char Aznable tier
$3 or more per month
  • The $1 tier but three times faster (and in red)
The Virtue Signaler
$5 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • You get to tell all your friends that you helped a South Smerican guy help his family.
ten bux lol
$10 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • The satisfaction that you didn't spend ten bux to post on a forum. #MyersTwitter
The SSJ2 tier
$15 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • Like the $1 one but 15x stronger
  • Pretty sure you wouldn't want to see pics of my butt (they do not exist for a reason)
  • I'll gladly help you translate stuff into Spanish.
The SSJ3
$20 or more per month
  • All of the previous rewards
  • And this is to go even further beyond.
  • Nope, still no lewds, the world is better this way. 
The Hyper Virtue Signaler
$50 or more per month
  • All of the above
  • You get to tell all your friends how you helped me fund the initial steps into a man's freedom (and burgers)
ten bux kaioken x10
$100 or more per month
  • All of the above
  • You get to tell all your friends how you helped a guy bail his family from the clutches of Socialism instead of spending ten bux to post on a forum ten times.