Captain Awkward

is creating Advice blogs

1,820

patrons
Tiers
Awkward Club
$1 or more per month

Welcome to the Awkward Club!
You'll have access to my activity feed here on Patreon where we'll have discussions, I'll post updates and pictures (possibly of my cat), and we'll brainstorm ideas for the future of Captain Awkward!

Triple Whammy
$3 or more per month

Buy me a cup of coffee!
I'll share some of my other writings and projects with you, “behind-the-scenes” info of what I'm working on. All previous rewards!

Alternate Takes
$5 or more per month

I have my hands full with reader questions, but people often ask me to weigh in on advice questions other writers have answered. If you want to support the main site and occasionally nominate questions from around the web for group discussion, this is a good tier for you. 

Ten Out of Ten
$10 or more per month
Live Chats
These are always my favorite Advice Columnist features to read, and I'd like to start doing them once a month using Twitter to generate short questions. Patreon contributors get early access to the monthly hashtag which means first crack at getting your short question answered. 
Advisory Committee
$25 or more per month

Snail Mail, Book Club
For a long time this was a "You Be The Advice Columnist" benefit, but I've had a hard time making this sustainable. Not because you weren't good advice-givers, more because I was not the greatest scheduler/editor. So thanks for hanging out and supporting the site.


Revised rewards as of 1/2019:


Non-denominational holiday card annually!

Other snail mail at random times!

I'm gonna pilot a feature starting in February where we review (& hopefully do Q&As with authors) for Actually Useful Self-Help Books, could use your help for that, especially identifying books!

We might try the "you be the advice columnist" thing again, who knows! I need to figure out a better structure for this, suggestions welcome. 

Additionally, I will punch up your dating profile if you like! (send me a message thru Patreon for details, 1 per patron)

Board of Directors
$50 or more per month

Super Patron
I can't even imagine what sort of super-generous person you must be. Thank you! 


Originally, this tier offered a monthly Awkward Hangout/Chat, but we could never schedule a time that worked. So (as of January 2019) I'm gonna re-launch this as a monthly open thread to check in and discuss whatever you like. When I post that thread, I'll also invite patrons at this level to check in with me privately and see if I can help untangle any thorny situations. Also, if there's something in particular you would find especially rewarding or necessary, please tell me! And thank you. 



Dumpster Fire Debate Club
$2,500 or more per month

Would you like me to consider debating or discussing certain topics with you, but I've blocked you on all social media and banned you from the comments section of my website? Don't despair! For the right price, you can sound off about such topics as:


  • "Why are all these victims of famously abusive artists unfairly ruining my fun?"
  • "The #MeToo Movement: Has It Gone Too Far?"
  • "If people have to consider other people's safety and comfort in public spaces, how will anyone ever fall in love again?"
  • "Having one's behavior described as 'creepy' or 'racist' is the worst, most unfair thing that could possibly happen to a person. That's the real discrimination no one is talking about!" 
  • "I need to scream at fat people to lose weight because I care about them so much!" 
  • "I totally support women artists as long as they are Ayn Rand!" 
  • Literally anything that happened in the 2016 presidential election cycle.


You can sound off here and...I will probably?... read whatever it is? That's it, that's what you get. There's no guaranteed reward (or response) for sponsorship at this tier, payments are nonrefundable, and I can delete your comments at any time without warning.


(If you're scrolled down this far because you're a nice generous person who wants to make a generous gift, get in touch, we'll make you a nice tier that isn't about Trolling Contingency Fees!)

Tiers
Awkward Club
$1 or more per month

Welcome to the Awkward Club!
You'll have access to my activity feed here on Patreon where we'll have discussions, I'll post updates and pictures (possibly of my cat), and we'll brainstorm ideas for the future of Captain Awkward!

Triple Whammy
$3 or more per month

Buy me a cup of coffee!
I'll share some of my other writings and projects with you, “behind-the-scenes” info of what I'm working on. All previous rewards!

Alternate Takes
$5 or more per month

I have my hands full with reader questions, but people often ask me to weigh in on advice questions other writers have answered. If you want to support the main site and occasionally nominate questions from around the web for group discussion, this is a good tier for you. 

Ten Out of Ten
$10 or more per month
Live Chats
These are always my favorite Advice Columnist features to read, and I'd like to start doing them once a month using Twitter to generate short questions. Patreon contributors get early access to the monthly hashtag which means first crack at getting your short question answered. 
Advisory Committee
$25 or more per month

Snail Mail, Book Club
For a long time this was a "You Be The Advice Columnist" benefit, but I've had a hard time making this sustainable. Not because you weren't good advice-givers, more because I was not the greatest scheduler/editor. So thanks for hanging out and supporting the site.


Revised rewards as of 1/2019:


Non-denominational holiday card annually!

Other snail mail at random times!

I'm gonna pilot a feature starting in February where we review (& hopefully do Q&As with authors) for Actually Useful Self-Help Books, could use your help for that, especially identifying books!

We might try the "you be the advice columnist" thing again, who knows! I need to figure out a better structure for this, suggestions welcome. 

Additionally, I will punch up your dating profile if you like! (send me a message thru Patreon for details, 1 per patron)

Board of Directors
$50 or more per month

Super Patron
I can't even imagine what sort of super-generous person you must be. Thank you! 


Originally, this tier offered a monthly Awkward Hangout/Chat, but we could never schedule a time that worked. So (as of January 2019) I'm gonna re-launch this as a monthly open thread to check in and discuss whatever you like. When I post that thread, I'll also invite patrons at this level to check in with me privately and see if I can help untangle any thorny situations. Also, if there's something in particular you would find especially rewarding or necessary, please tell me! And thank you. 



Dumpster Fire Debate Club
$2,500 or more per month

Would you like me to consider debating or discussing certain topics with you, but I've blocked you on all social media and banned you from the comments section of my website? Don't despair! For the right price, you can sound off about such topics as:


  • "Why are all these victims of famously abusive artists unfairly ruining my fun?"
  • "The #MeToo Movement: Has It Gone Too Far?"
  • "If people have to consider other people's safety and comfort in public spaces, how will anyone ever fall in love again?"
  • "Having one's behavior described as 'creepy' or 'racist' is the worst, most unfair thing that could possibly happen to a person. That's the real discrimination no one is talking about!" 
  • "I need to scream at fat people to lose weight because I care about them so much!" 
  • "I totally support women artists as long as they are Ayn Rand!" 
  • Literally anything that happened in the 2016 presidential election cycle.


You can sound off here and...I will probably?... read whatever it is? That's it, that's what you get. There's no guaranteed reward (or response) for sponsorship at this tier, payments are nonrefundable, and I can delete your comments at any time without warning.


(If you're scrolled down this far because you're a nice generous person who wants to make a generous gift, get in touch, we'll make you a nice tier that isn't about Trolling Contingency Fees!)