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Two entire american dollars? That's like a good coffee, or a taco, or 8 thingamajigs from the vending machine, or a fancy pen. My point is, that's a lot. Thank you friend. Come enjoy my content. 


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Five dollars a month means this month you bought me a fancy latte, or a bag of that nice popcorn, or, most likely, helped pay my bills. Maybe it's not a lot to you, but it means the world to me. I appreciate it more than you know. Come enjoy my content.


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Unicorns are rare and magical, and so is someone willing to spend seven entire dollars on a weirdo writer like me. That's a whole meal. That's a bag o cat litter. That's a tank o gas (basically. I am incredibly fuel efficient.) You are truly keeping the magic alive. Thank you. Thank you. Come enjoy my content and I will give you a shoutout! 



About Molly

I'm Molly a.k.a. Ditch Pony: writer, Minnesotan, flannel gremlin. You may know me from such hits as "oh yeah, I think I saw one of your tweets on Buzzfeed" and "my cousin shared one of your memes on Facebook." Critics have called me "upsetting," "unhygienic," and "kind of funny." I'm an MFA graduate, columnist, and future episode of Bizarre Deaths: Why You Shouldn't Cuddle Wildlife. Oh, and I'm writing a novel. 

I live on a lil farm with a human fiancé, Noah, our puppy, Jolene, and the three stray kittens-turned-cats I found over the last couple years: Richard, Bobby Meatloaf, and Beans. There are also occasional bats and mice but we have not had the pleasure of naming them. 

This year was chaotic: my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my sister, already a mother of my wonderful niece with autism, gave birth to twins. Oh, and I started my thesis. I decided to give up my job and writing community to be closer to them. No regrets, but the job market in rural Minnesota is not exactly booming with opportunities for budding writers. So, I've created this Patreon with three goals: 
  1. To get out of financial survival mode
  2. To stay accountable and continue writing
  3. To give you an excuse to laugh
When you support me you're supporting:
  • my book
  • food & vet bills for the critters
  • my plastic-free, eco-conscious lifestyle
  • nonsense and the undying spirit of tomfoolery
What you get: 

  • my eternal, omnipresent, borderline-excessive gratitude
  • Access! Unlike my social media, I can guarantee I will receive and respond to your messages and comments on here. 
  • Content! This is basically a blog but also includes updates on how my book is going, pictures of my pets, random art, personal stories, inside scoops, whatever is up with me.
  • honestly, all Patrons receive the same content. I'm not withholding creativity because you support me but don't have a ton of fun money laying around. Pay what you can. I appreciate you all more than you know. 
  • Bi-weekly envelopes of my hair in the mail!
  • you can use them for whatever
  • even framing me for your crimes, I don't care, it's your hair now
  • okay I lied, you can't have my hair
  • unless you ask nicely

Thank you in advance for your support. It means the world to me. Stay weird my friends.
46% complete
This goal would take some serious weight off my shoulders and show me I should continue investing time and energy into this project. If we hit this I will dance and also cry. 
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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 22 exclusive posts
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 22 exclusive posts

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