SOMETHING AWFUL Gaming Garbage Murders the Internet Forums Dot Com.com 200 is creating Videos, podcasts, forum improvements, questionable odors
2,077
patrons
$12,816
per month
Gaming Garbage.  Murder the Internet.  The Something Awful Forums.  This Patreon is used to support all these and much, much more.

GAMING GARBAGE:  We here at Gaming Garbage are dedicated to relentlessly mocking and showcasing the absolute worst video games in existence (we once attempted to play video games that don't exist, but that ended up being very difficult to record).  Since our channel began roughly 191 years ago, we've pumped out over 400 videos and shared countless video game abominations to the world, from Dontrel the Dolphin to Beestmeal. We're terribly unpopular and will probably stay that way for the rest of eternity, but at least I kicked off shmorky!  And my foot was covered in poop afterwards!

MURDER THE INTERNET:  Our podcast, "Murder the Internet," is in the same situation; my co-host Jonathan Weir and I absolutely love doing them weekly, but we need to generate revenue from it in some way.  Hopefully one day we can bring in enough COLD HARD CASH to do it fulltime.  Hey, if those Chapo House guys can make $60,000 a month, I figure we deserve at least eight times that much.

THE SOMETHING AWFUL FORUMS:  Due to us not being popular or cool anymore, revenue has dropped nearly 90%, and many forum users have asked if they could financially support the site through monthly Patreon donations. Heck yeah, you can!  Some of the revenue generated here will be used to hire a coder, so we can actually add new features and get things done. That's right.... Titan 2.0.

GOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!!

What we're proposing here is simple: we would love to help you, the viewer, take money that you either earned or stole, and gave that money to us.  It's very straightforward: some of the money that you own, will become money that we now own, and in return, we will regularly and consistently provide you with the wonderful, high-quality, well produced videos you've grown to know and love, such as the one in 2004 where I talk about my ass in length for several hours with a diaperfur. 

If you would rather not donate to us and instead live your life as a person lacking moral integrity who is loathed by all they encounter, that is your choice and we will completely respect that as you burn in hell for all eternity. But if you enjoy our videos / podcasts / forums / poor general decisions in life, and would like to see more, please consider supporting us, particularly in the form of wealth transfer.  Bernie would have one. I don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but I'm fairly certain hot women are attracted to Gaming Garbage supporters and they'll want to do the sex stuff with you a lot except when you're on the phone because that would be distracting.

So please, help us help you (make your bank account smaller) by supporting our lifelong quest to create a multimedia smorgasbord. Imagine the warm feeling in your heart as you realize you prolonged my inevitable suicide by at least several hours.
Tiers
Discord the Explorer
$2.49 or more per month
  • You will be cordially invited to our TOP SECRET Discord server, where you can type in words and they appear on screen, or you can say words into a mic and they also appear on screen.
Includes Discord rewards
Gaming Garbage Great Guy or Gal
$6.92 or more per month
  • Free bonus episodes from our "Murder the Internet" podcast!  Watch Gaming Garbage videos before they are publicly revealed to the rest of the world!  Receive a warm and fulfilling sensation, knowing that you're a better person than the proles who refused to reach this tier!
Includes Discord rewards
Gaming Garbage SUPER ULTRA Greatest Guy or Gal
$13.55 or more per month
  • In addition to the standard sponsor package, you will additionally receive access to bonus videos, behind-the-scenes footage, sneak peeks, live hangouts, and various other bonus crud.
Includes Discord rewards
Person Who is Inherently Better Than the Poorer People
$53.93 or more per month
  • I will let you co-host, or at least be on air, when we do any multiplayer games.  Heck, I might even buy you the game! Also if you don't seem to be a complete psycho, I'll probably give you ops during livestreams. Then you can flagrantly abuse your (limited) power and realize how everything else in life pales in comparison to this.
Includes Discord rewards
A Hero Amongst Dregs
$112.04 or more per month
  • Control my destiny! Choose which games you'd like to see! Suggest I do something else besides play games, such as make a video of me abusing handicapped children or committing insurance fraud!  You've got my ear!
Includes Discord rewards
Honorary Captain of the Internet
$488.01 or more per month
  • All that crap from the other tiers PLUS I will email you a jpg I created that proclaims you "HONORARY CAPTIN [sic] OF THE INTERNET."  NOTE: I may be too lazy to actually do this, so don't get your hopes up.
Includes Discord rewards
Person Who Spent $845.22
$845.22 or more per month
  • Everything previously mentioned PLUS I'll add you to my contact list and spam you ever 18 seconds with links to a Russian website selling pills that either make your penis larger or fall off entirely.
Includes Discord rewards
Disposable Income Bad Decision Maker Man
$2,910.22 or more per month
  • Uh, you get to fly out here and hang out in the state-of-the-art, luxurious Gaming Garbage HQ, and sleep here for a couple nights.  I'll take you to a nice steak place and tell you humorous fictional stories. No restrictions apply!
    RESTRICTIONS: You can't be ugly or creepy. You must possess passable social skills and take showers. Please study how normal humans act in public, and subsequently attempt to emulate that. If you're a foreigner, you might have to pay for your own damn plane ticket.
Includes Discord rewards
Become God
$10,000 or more per month
  • You will become God, our Lord and Savior, creator of the universe and everything.  All Bibles will be rewritten and each instance of the word "God" will be replaced in crayon with your own name.  NOTE: this may take me a while to fulfill.
Includes Discord rewards
Goals
$12,816 of $500,000 per month
I'll livestream myself throwing gallons of house paint at a family of four at the public zoo.
2 of 2
Gaming Garbage.  Murder the Internet.  The Something Awful Forums.  This Patreon is used to support all these and much, much more.

GAMING GARBAGE:  We here at Gaming Garbage are dedicated to relentlessly mocking and showcasing the absolute worst video games in existence (we once attempted to play video games that don't exist, but that ended up being very difficult to record).  Since our channel began roughly 191 years ago, we've pumped out over 400 videos and shared countless video game abominations to the world, from Dontrel the Dolphin to Beestmeal. We're terribly unpopular and will probably stay that way for the rest of eternity, but at least I kicked off shmorky!  And my foot was covered in poop afterwards!

MURDER THE INTERNET:  Our podcast, "Murder the Internet," is in the same situation; my co-host Jonathan Weir and I absolutely love doing them weekly, but we need to generate revenue from it in some way.  Hopefully one day we can bring in enough COLD HARD CASH to do it fulltime.  Hey, if those Chapo House guys can make $60,000 a month, I figure we deserve at least eight times that much.

THE SOMETHING AWFUL FORUMS:  Due to us not being popular or cool anymore, revenue has dropped nearly 90%, and many forum users have asked if they could financially support the site through monthly Patreon donations. Heck yeah, you can!  Some of the revenue generated here will be used to hire a coder, so we can actually add new features and get things done. That's right.... Titan 2.0.

GOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!!

What we're proposing here is simple: we would love to help you, the viewer, take money that you either earned or stole, and gave that money to us.  It's very straightforward: some of the money that you own, will become money that we now own, and in return, we will regularly and consistently provide you with the wonderful, high-quality, well produced videos you've grown to know and love, such as the one in 2004 where I talk about my ass in length for several hours with a diaperfur. 

If you would rather not donate to us and instead live your life as a person lacking moral integrity who is loathed by all they encounter, that is your choice and we will completely respect that as you burn in hell for all eternity. But if you enjoy our videos / podcasts / forums / poor general decisions in life, and would like to see more, please consider supporting us, particularly in the form of wealth transfer.  Bernie would have one. I don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but I'm fairly certain hot women are attracted to Gaming Garbage supporters and they'll want to do the sex stuff with you a lot except when you're on the phone because that would be distracting.

So please, help us help you (make your bank account smaller) by supporting our lifelong quest to create a multimedia smorgasbord. Imagine the warm feeling in your heart as you realize you prolonged my inevitable suicide by at least several hours.

Recent posts by SOMETHING AWFUL Gaming Garbage Murders the Internet Forums Dot Com.com 200

Tiers
Discord the Explorer
$2.49 or more per month
  • You will be cordially invited to our TOP SECRET Discord server, where you can type in words and they appear on screen, or you can say words into a mic and they also appear on screen.
Includes Discord rewards
Gaming Garbage Great Guy or Gal
$6.92 or more per month
  • Free bonus episodes from our "Murder the Internet" podcast!  Watch Gaming Garbage videos before they are publicly revealed to the rest of the world!  Receive a warm and fulfilling sensation, knowing that you're a better person than the proles who refused to reach this tier!
Includes Discord rewards
Gaming Garbage SUPER ULTRA Greatest Guy or Gal
$13.55 or more per month
  • In addition to the standard sponsor package, you will additionally receive access to bonus videos, behind-the-scenes footage, sneak peeks, live hangouts, and various other bonus crud.
Includes Discord rewards
Person Who is Inherently Better Than the Poorer People
$53.93 or more per month
  • I will let you co-host, or at least be on air, when we do any multiplayer games.  Heck, I might even buy you the game! Also if you don't seem to be a complete psycho, I'll probably give you ops during livestreams. Then you can flagrantly abuse your (limited) power and realize how everything else in life pales in comparison to this.
Includes Discord rewards
A Hero Amongst Dregs
$112.04 or more per month
  • Control my destiny! Choose which games you'd like to see! Suggest I do something else besides play games, such as make a video of me abusing handicapped children or committing insurance fraud!  You've got my ear!
Includes Discord rewards
Honorary Captain of the Internet
$488.01 or more per month
  • All that crap from the other tiers PLUS I will email you a jpg I created that proclaims you "HONORARY CAPTIN [sic] OF THE INTERNET."  NOTE: I may be too lazy to actually do this, so don't get your hopes up.
Includes Discord rewards
Person Who Spent $845.22
$845.22 or more per month
  • Everything previously mentioned PLUS I'll add you to my contact list and spam you ever 18 seconds with links to a Russian website selling pills that either make your penis larger or fall off entirely.
Includes Discord rewards
Disposable Income Bad Decision Maker Man
$2,910.22 or more per month
  • Uh, you get to fly out here and hang out in the state-of-the-art, luxurious Gaming Garbage HQ, and sleep here for a couple nights.  I'll take you to a nice steak place and tell you humorous fictional stories. No restrictions apply!
    RESTRICTIONS: You can't be ugly or creepy. You must possess passable social skills and take showers. Please study how normal humans act in public, and subsequently attempt to emulate that. If you're a foreigner, you might have to pay for your own damn plane ticket.
Includes Discord rewards
Become God
$10,000 or more per month
  • You will become God, our Lord and Savior, creator of the universe and everything.  All Bibles will be rewritten and each instance of the word "God" will be replaced in crayon with your own name.  NOTE: this may take me a while to fulfill.
Includes Discord rewards