House Morningwood is creating life lessons, wit, and ground truth.
FILTER
Tiers
Smallfolk [Sworn to House Morningwood]
$1 or more per month
Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you. Do not consider yourself as a menial, unwashed peasant (though you probably are). Think of yourself the foundation of our Great House. 


Reward: 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn")


💋 Membership in Nancy's Squat & Gobble.


💵 Occasional discount codes for high end manufacturers and retailers of tactical equipment and accessories. *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership.

Sworn Sword
$5 or more per month
 

Upon the backs of such men-at-arms and shieldmaidens as you are the armies of House Morningwood build. We will spend your coin wisely. 


REWARD: 


 💵  Access to the House Morningwood Armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.") 

     

     ⚔️ Includes 10-25% discount codes from 10% to 25% on
    major manufacturers and retailers.*


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 



Your support shall help us in many ways, allowing us to:

  

● continue educating and edifying our readers

● do battle with the dumbing-down of society

● rage against the decline of civil discourse

● rescue damsels in distress

● deflower the occasional maiden


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 


Hedge Knight
$10 or more per month
Welcome Ser, and thank you!  You may be the dregs of the knightly orders, but we'll take your money! 



 REWARD:  

 

👊 Everybody has to call you Ser (though it is your responsibility to enforce this rule). 


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

 

     ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 50% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 




Bastard Knight of Morningwood ("Bone")
$13.69 or more per month
Tales of your valor, strength of arms, and feats of fuckery are known across the land.
 

You will henceforth carry the surname Bone, and display the Bend Sinister upon your heraldry.
 

REWARD
 

💸 20% off tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by any one our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility.) 
 

👊 Everybody has to call you Ser Bone of Morningwood.                                                                  *snicker*

 

💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

        ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major          manufacturers and retailers.*
 

💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.
 

✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 
 

💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 
 

🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 

Knight Bannerman
$25 or more per month
Knight Bannerman of House Morningwood:

We accept your pledge, Ser, and look forward to watching you slaughter our enemies. Death to all who oppose us! (Unless they have cake.)


REWARD


🏰 Claim your own sigil, with words, and we'll display it on our website. We reserve the right to approve your heraldry and sigil.  


💸 40% off tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility.) *eligible after 6 months of leal service.  


🎁 Access to Morningwood loot whenever it is available (holsters and knives engraved with our sigil, that sort of thing).  


👊 Everybody has to call you Ser, and defer to you even if you're being a dick. 


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory, the "Morningwood Bazaar" (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

         

         ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 

 

*These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 

Lord (Lady) Bannerman of Morningwood
$50 or more per month
We will reward such leal service, M'Lord (or M'lady), and make a big deal out of you even if you don't deserve it. Prepare your banner!


REWARD: 


🏰 🏠 Establish your own sworn house and sigil, with words, and we'll display it on our website as a part of JTF Awesome. We reserve the right to approve your heraldry and sigil. 


📦 Where legal we'll send you an engraved House Morningwood AR15 upper receiver. If you remind us. Speed of delivery will be dependent upon our supplier/engraver. This will be after 6 months of leal service. 


🎁 Free loot whenever we have it available (holsters and knives engraved with our sigil, that sort of thing). 


⌨️ If requested, you will have access to the "Lords Council" Facebook group, which makes all the decisions about the Patreon campaign.


🎤 Standing invite to our video chats, evening smoke-and-a-drink sessions, etc. 


💸 Free tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility, and only eligible after your first year of leal service.)


👊 Everybody has to call you M'Lord or M'Lady Morningwood.


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")


         ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn")  and your own


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 


Tiers
Smallfolk [Sworn to House Morningwood]
$1 or more per month
Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you. Do not consider yourself as a menial, unwashed peasant (though you probably are). Think of yourself the foundation of our Great House. 


Reward: 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn")


💋 Membership in Nancy's Squat & Gobble.


💵 Occasional discount codes for high end manufacturers and retailers of tactical equipment and accessories. *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership.

Sworn Sword
$5 or more per month
 

Upon the backs of such men-at-arms and shieldmaidens as you are the armies of House Morningwood build. We will spend your coin wisely. 


REWARD: 


 💵  Access to the House Morningwood Armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.") 

     

     ⚔️ Includes 10-25% discount codes from 10% to 25% on
    major manufacturers and retailers.*


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 



Your support shall help us in many ways, allowing us to:

  

● continue educating and edifying our readers

● do battle with the dumbing-down of society

● rage against the decline of civil discourse

● rescue damsels in distress

● deflower the occasional maiden


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 


Hedge Knight
$10 or more per month
Welcome Ser, and thank you!  You may be the dregs of the knightly orders, but we'll take your money! 



 REWARD:  

 

👊 Everybody has to call you Ser (though it is your responsibility to enforce this rule). 


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

 

     ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 50% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 




Bastard Knight of Morningwood ("Bone")
$13.69 or more per month
Tales of your valor, strength of arms, and feats of fuckery are known across the land.
 

You will henceforth carry the surname Bone, and display the Bend Sinister upon your heraldry.
 

REWARD
 

💸 20% off tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by any one our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility.) 
 

👊 Everybody has to call you Ser Bone of Morningwood.                                                                  *snicker*

 

💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

        ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major          manufacturers and retailers.*
 

💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.
 

✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 
 

💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 
 

🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 

Knight Bannerman
$25 or more per month
Knight Bannerman of House Morningwood:

We accept your pledge, Ser, and look forward to watching you slaughter our enemies. Death to all who oppose us! (Unless they have cake.)


REWARD


🏰 Claim your own sigil, with words, and we'll display it on our website. We reserve the right to approve your heraldry and sigil.  


💸 40% off tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility.) *eligible after 6 months of leal service.  


🎁 Access to Morningwood loot whenever it is available (holsters and knives engraved with our sigil, that sort of thing).  


👊 Everybody has to call you Ser, and defer to you even if you're being a dick. 


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory, the "Morningwood Bazaar" (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")

         

         ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn") 

 

*These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership. 

Lord (Lady) Bannerman of Morningwood
$50 or more per month
We will reward such leal service, M'Lord (or M'lady), and make a big deal out of you even if you don't deserve it. Prepare your banner!


REWARD: 


🏰 🏠 Establish your own sworn house and sigil, with words, and we'll display it on our website as a part of JTF Awesome. We reserve the right to approve your heraldry and sigil. 


📦 Where legal we'll send you an engraved House Morningwood AR15 upper receiver. If you remind us. Speed of delivery will be dependent upon our supplier/engraver. This will be after 6 months of leal service. 


🎁 Free loot whenever we have it available (holsters and knives engraved with our sigil, that sort of thing). 


⌨️ If requested, you will have access to the "Lords Council" Facebook group, which makes all the decisions about the Patreon campaign.


🎤 Standing invite to our video chats, evening smoke-and-a-drink sessions, etc. 


💸 Free tuition to any one course (up to $500) taught by our training partners each calendar year. (Class cost only, range fees, travel, ammo, etc. remain your responsibility, and only eligible after your first year of leal service.)


👊 Everybody has to call you M'Lord or M'Lady Morningwood.


💰 Access to House Morningwood's armory (known in certain circles as the "Gear Whore Buyers Club.")


         ⚔️ Includes discount codes up to 60% on major
         manufacturers and retailers.*


💢 The sigil of House Morningwood delivered by courier to your door (morale patch) after 3 months...if you remind us.


✉️ Standing invite to Breach-Bang-Clear gatherings, rallies, hoedowns, and hootenannies. 


💋  Membership at Nancy's Squat & Gobble 


🚩 The right to bear the sigil of House Morningwood and speak our words ("Rise Before Dawn")  and your own


 *These will be provided after your first 30 days of membership.