Miles Holmes

is creating a space-western rock-opera car-porn trilogy of books

13

patrons
Tiers
Highwayman
$1 per month
Reward
Yeah, but it's a dry heat. A sizzling new PDF chapter served up each and every Friday. Why not? You're going to need something to do after watching the Mandalorion. I'll even throw in access to the Discord server where we can dish about the things that really matter in life, like pew, pew and pew.
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • Patron-only Discord Server
Ranger
$5 per month
Reward
Listen, do you smell something? A cracking new PDF chapter served up each and every Friday along with a WAV file audio chapter should you prefer to listen to the dulcid tones of my scotch and cigar soaked gravel reading this drivel instead.  You're also welcome to belly up to the Discord server where we can chew the fat about bodies going splat on warm.....leatherette.
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Patron-only Discord Server
Zealot
$30 per month
Reward
It's a trap! If you thought being a Ranger was cool, your tastebuds won't be able to repel flavor of this magnitude. PDF chapter? Check. WAV chapter? Check, Check. SHIRTS AND BOOKS? Check, Check, Goose, motherfuckers!!

For reals; with a minimum three month paid subscription per book at this tier, you'll get a tee shirt for said book along with a bona fide softcover copy, pending the final edit pass. You'll also have access to the Discord server too, that's just how a Zealot rolls. If you were hoping this tier would add a guitar solo whenever you enter a room, maybe try the next tier up. Excelsior!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Trooper
$60 per month
Reward
Bogus! If that no-good lying Zealot sent you here for guitar solos, I'm afraid that princess is in another castle, my friend.

But hey! Check the place out while you're here, it's a real Trooper. You still get the PDF chapter, the WAV chapter, natch. You'll also get each book's T-Shirt and Print Copy softcover pending final edits with a minimum two month subscription per book. You're also connected to the Discord server like everyone else. But here's something fresh: forget about ET, now you can call home. As in, mine. Yeah, I'm talking a monthly 1:1 Feedback call for some hot talk about CAR porn (and ONLY car porn, so help me you weirdos).

Granted, Trooper is no gold plated toilet tier or anything, but it is the place where rich folks gotta rich, I would imagine. Please sir, can I have some more, and all that. Hooah!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Knight
$100 per month
Reward
The Spice must flow. Who better than a Knight to keep my eyes double blue? Wait a second. You're still here? It's over. Go home. Surely you can't be serious. You're actually telling me you'd consider burning a hundred bucks a month on all this nonsense? I'll be straight, while it is better than the last tier, the perks are mostly for me, heh. 

For those in a position to be that kind of helpful, I'll of course throw in the PDF Chapter, WAV Chapter, T-shirt and Print copy, the 1:1 Call, the Discord server, etc. Let's just say you get everything those faux rich bums over at Trooper get, but I will go you three better.

A minimum one month subscription per book at this tier gets you the T-Shirt and how about this? I'll make your softcover book a Signed Print Copy, inscribed with whatever sweet nothings you care to read. Last but not least, if you're a Knight I'd be willing to swear in court I actually do hear a guitar solo whenever you enter the room, you bad-ass you. The sleeper must awaken!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Signed Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Marshal
$1,000,000 per month
Reward
If I had a million dollars... Push that button and I'm out folks, I mean it. Just as soon that check clears, I'll close up shop, get the books published up real nice; put some mazes in there and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. In a word, classy.

What do you get for a million? Geez. It's not a good trade honestly. Sure, you get everything a Knight does, for starters. Hell, I'd even re-name a recurring character in the trilogy after you, as long as you aren't already famous other-wheres (imagine Elon Musk or Donald Trump Junior is now my hero's sidekick). Actually, scratch that, I don't care how famous you are. You pony up, you're in. You would of course also receive my eternal, sobbing thanks. I'll even make the trip out whereever you are should you prefer that heartwarming moment happens directly at your feet.

Right.

While the above blurb was amusing to write and everything, let's get real here a minute. I think we all know that no one is going to push the button and it's fine. I'm just having some fun here and hoping to build a community of readers around this obsession of mine. An audience of largely Highwaymen and Rangers would be great to that end.

EVEN SO, just look at that button... a million dollars? 

Surely, you will all resist the diabolical urge to push the button that could erase my very existence (on Patreon). Surely, all will withstand the temptation to push the button that, even now, beckons them closer. Surely, no one will succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate my history.  At the MERE PUSH of a SINGLE BUTTON!  A beeyootiful shiny button! A jolly candy-like button!! You will hold out, right folks? CAN you hold out?
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Signed Print Copy Book
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art

Posts

Tiers
Highwayman
$1 per month
Reward
Yeah, but it's a dry heat. A sizzling new PDF chapter served up each and every Friday. Why not? You're going to need something to do after watching the Mandalorion. I'll even throw in access to the Discord server where we can dish about the things that really matter in life, like pew, pew and pew.
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • Patron-only Discord Server
Ranger
$5 per month
Reward
Listen, do you smell something? A cracking new PDF chapter served up each and every Friday along with a WAV file audio chapter should you prefer to listen to the dulcid tones of my scotch and cigar soaked gravel reading this drivel instead.  You're also welcome to belly up to the Discord server where we can chew the fat about bodies going splat on warm.....leatherette.
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Patron-only Discord Server
Zealot
$30 per month
Reward
It's a trap! If you thought being a Ranger was cool, your tastebuds won't be able to repel flavor of this magnitude. PDF chapter? Check. WAV chapter? Check, Check. SHIRTS AND BOOKS? Check, Check, Goose, motherfuckers!!

For reals; with a minimum three month paid subscription per book at this tier, you'll get a tee shirt for said book along with a bona fide softcover copy, pending the final edit pass. You'll also have access to the Discord server too, that's just how a Zealot rolls. If you were hoping this tier would add a guitar solo whenever you enter a room, maybe try the next tier up. Excelsior!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Trooper
$60 per month
Reward
Bogus! If that no-good lying Zealot sent you here for guitar solos, I'm afraid that princess is in another castle, my friend.

But hey! Check the place out while you're here, it's a real Trooper. You still get the PDF chapter, the WAV chapter, natch. You'll also get each book's T-Shirt and Print Copy softcover pending final edits with a minimum two month subscription per book. You're also connected to the Discord server like everyone else. But here's something fresh: forget about ET, now you can call home. As in, mine. Yeah, I'm talking a monthly 1:1 Feedback call for some hot talk about CAR porn (and ONLY car porn, so help me you weirdos).

Granted, Trooper is no gold plated toilet tier or anything, but it is the place where rich folks gotta rich, I would imagine. Please sir, can I have some more, and all that. Hooah!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Knight
$100 per month
Reward
The Spice must flow. Who better than a Knight to keep my eyes double blue? Wait a second. You're still here? It's over. Go home. Surely you can't be serious. You're actually telling me you'd consider burning a hundred bucks a month on all this nonsense? I'll be straight, while it is better than the last tier, the perks are mostly for me, heh. 

For those in a position to be that kind of helpful, I'll of course throw in the PDF Chapter, WAV Chapter, T-shirt and Print copy, the 1:1 Call, the Discord server, etc. Let's just say you get everything those faux rich bums over at Trooper get, but I will go you three better.

A minimum one month subscription per book at this tier gets you the T-Shirt and how about this? I'll make your softcover book a Signed Print Copy, inscribed with whatever sweet nothings you care to read. Last but not least, if you're a Knight I'd be willing to swear in court I actually do hear a guitar solo whenever you enter the room, you bad-ass you. The sleeper must awaken!
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Signed Print Copy Book
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art
Marshal
$1,000,000 per month
Reward
If I had a million dollars... Push that button and I'm out folks, I mean it. Just as soon that check clears, I'll close up shop, get the books published up real nice; put some mazes in there and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. In a word, classy.

What do you get for a million? Geez. It's not a good trade honestly. Sure, you get everything a Knight does, for starters. Hell, I'd even re-name a recurring character in the trilogy after you, as long as you aren't already famous other-wheres (imagine Elon Musk or Donald Trump Junior is now my hero's sidekick). Actually, scratch that, I don't care how famous you are. You pony up, you're in. You would of course also receive my eternal, sobbing thanks. I'll even make the trip out whereever you are should you prefer that heartwarming moment happens directly at your feet.

Right.

While the above blurb was amusing to write and everything, let's get real here a minute. I think we all know that no one is going to push the button and it's fine. I'm just having some fun here and hoping to build a community of readers around this obsession of mine. An audience of largely Highwaymen and Rangers would be great to that end.

EVEN SO, just look at that button... a million dollars? 

Surely, you will all resist the diabolical urge to push the button that could erase my very existence (on Patreon). Surely, all will withstand the temptation to push the button that, even now, beckons them closer. Surely, no one will succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate my history.  At the MERE PUSH of a SINGLE BUTTON!  A beeyootiful shiny button! A jolly candy-like button!! You will hold out, right folks? CAN you hold out?
  • PDF Chapter per week
  • WAV Chapter per week
  • Signed Print Copy Book
  • 1:1 Phone call
  • Patron-only Discord Server
  • Exclusive T-shirt
Exclusive T-shirt
Fulfilled by Patreon
A stylin' Steelback Greatest Hits shirt, pending final art