My darlings!!

Welcome to our Patreon parlour! I am so very thrilled you received our invitation and found your way past the Lemon Pirate blockade outside Jacomba, the various and sundry distractions laid by the Caffeinati, and the gambit of calling cards and parasols McMactavisham is currently juggling in the foyer!

The Grand Arbiter and I are terribly pleased you’ve chosen to join us for tea. We have every intention of drinking untold cups of tea whilst indulging in a few time-traveling anecdotes and a variety of gossip regarding our travails with the nefarious organizations which are trying to thwart the spread of tea and merriment. Oh yes, and we shall no doubt engage in ever so much badinage about fashion, literature, and those pastimes which amuse us!!

For those whom we are meeting for the first time, please allow me to introduce dear Grand Arbiter and myself. Ptolemy Hargrave, the Grand Arbiter and my partner in all things and the other half of my soul, is dedicated to the philosophical and practical pursuits of hedonism. In a truly selfless act, he plans to share the fruits of his labors with all of you. I am perhaps best known for my dedication to the arts of fashion and the pursuit of the endless tea party. Some may know me from my somewhat scandalous and slightly infamous decision to replace my blood with Second Flush Darjeeling--SFTGFOP but of course. (The Darjeeling transfusions continue to work marvelously!)

Ptolemy and I had the extraordinary good fortune to meet whilst at the autumnal garden party of the Most August Siren of the Argent Seas. She lured us each there individually with the promise of exquisite musical entertainments, the finest artesian waters for our tea, and brilliant conversation. In a moment so profound it forever changed the shape of the universe and became a fixed point in time, we discovered each other whilst savoring these tea making waters. Never was conversation more charming nor two souls more harmonious.

As lovers of time-travel, devotees of 19th century fashion, and connoisseurs of tea, the Grand Arbiter and I decided to devote ourselves to sightseeing across the multiverse and frequently find ourselves amongst the fine individuals who inhabit the Steampunk world, a realm we are happy to call home when we are not traveling to other points in time and space. A very fine timeline and dimension indeed, as we have been delighted to meet so many of you there! It is in the land of Steampunk, at various delightful events, that we are thrilled to most often host sundry tea parties and other special events.

Your visit and support of our Patreon parlour at this time is of paramount importance, my darlings! Increases in the terrible activities of those who wish to impede the spread of fine tea, frivolity and fashion are at a peak. Not only do we feel duty bound to meet these blights to joy, merriment, and creativity, but we also believe that an increased focus in our efforts is necessary. To that end we are reorganizing--or perhaps organizing for the first time--all of our resources. Marshaling an army of chapeaus and the fleetest of bustles requires profound research and development in our haberdashery department. The Atelier Askew is in desperate need of yet another pastry chef to meet the demands for fresh scones at cream team. Sadly, the aetheric oolong motivator in the engine of our stalwart airship, the HMS Darjeeling, is now in constant need of resupply and regular attention from the maddest of mad inventors. Your assistance will make the most profound difference in the ability for the Grand Arbiter and myself to continue our labors in this or any universe.

Your ardent and humble admirer,
Madame Askew