Brian Keith Dalton is creating The Mr. Deity Show and The Way of the Mister

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Pledge $3 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
242 patrons
Blessings!
When you become a patron of The Mr. Deity Show and The Way of the Mister, blessings will rain down upon you. First, you'll have the blessing of knowing that you're supporting the production of quality content which you can proudly share with family, friends, and random strangers. Second, you'll experience the blessing of knowing that you're making the show freely available to everyone including our younger audience members who are often in no financial position to help out, but in desperate need of such resources. Finally, you'll be blessed in gloriously random ways at random times. So, the next time something really good happens to you, you can rest assured that it's all due to your generous patronage of The Mr. Deity Show and The Way of the Mister. If there's a better, more rewarding feeling in life, I'm sure I don't know what it is.
Pledge $10 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
49 patrons
Lottery Numbers!*
*These are not necessarily winning lottery numbers. In fact, these are not the lottery numbers for any particular lottery in any particular state/nation at any particular time. But they are randomly chosen numbers providing you the same exact chance of winning as any set of numbers you might have otherwise chosen. Please play responsibly.
Pledge $25 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
6 patrons
Secret Handshake (and my new name)!
You will be given specific instructions on how to perform the often rumored, much coveted, Mr. Deity secret handshake — or sure sign of the boss. With this handshake, you’ll be able to test the devotion of other Deity patrons while out in the lone and dreary world. You'll also be able to prove your superiority to those who are not yet “in the know." Finally, this handshake will give you immediate access to the Mormon heaven should that possibility present itself in another life. Just make sure to tell them that Moses sent you.
Pledge $50 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
2 patrons
Magic Underwear!
With a $50 per video patronage to Mr. Deity and The Way of the Mister, your ordinary, everyday underwear* will be made magical. Just stand in front of the mirror** in the underwear you’d like to enchant, raise your arms above your head, and while dropping them slowly, repeat the phrase “Pay le Deity” (which is French for “Blessed be the Lord) three times.
OPTIONAL: For an extra $25 per video, you can enchant your Speedo® too!!!
*Teddies, thongs, and boy shorts not included.
**Doing this in front of the mirror will help you realize how silly this is.
Pledge $100 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
1 patron
Indulgences!!
With a $100 per video patronage to Mr. Deity and The Way of the Mister, you will be granted preemptive forgiveness of any theological (read: theoretical) sin* in the category of your choosing. Choose sexual redemption and fornicate to your heart’s content — guilt-free (other organ's contentedness not guaranteed)! Choose heresy redemption and blaspheme freely against the Holy Ghost! Choose sabbath redemption and enjoy your entire weekend! And again… all... entirely... GUILT-FREE!!!
*Not valid on sins which may harm yourself and/or others, or damage property not owned by you. May not be appropriate for small children, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, or Bryan Fischer. Void where prohibited.
Pledge $200 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
0 patrons
Blanket Redemption!!!
With a $200 per video patronage to Mr. Deity and The Way of the Mister, you’ll receive an all-encompassing blanket redemption, guaranteeing your complete and utter victory over sin and death*. Simply confess yourself a sinner, ask forgiveness, tell Jesse/Jesus you believe in his entirely mythical death and resurrection, and you’re covered!!! For those requiring that extra dose of redemption, be sure to invite Jesse/Jesus into your heart, life, apartment, condo, or single-family dwelling, letting Him know that He’ll be both king of the castle and your personal Lord and Savior. Then, be sure to end your supplication with the phrase, “In Your Holy Name.” It’s just that easy (according to one of the the three Abrahamic Faiths).
*Possible Jihad/Crusading required. Victory over death as yet pending. Batteries not included.
Pledge $325 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
0 patrons
Front Row Seats to the Apocalypse!!!!!
If you haven’t yet taken advantage of our blanket redemption offer and been raptured already, this $325 per video patronage will put you right in the middle of the action — all in the luxurious warmth and safety of box seats! Whether you’re an Amillennialist, Postmillennialist, or Historic Premillennialist, you’ll watch in awe as the four horsemen (original cast) make their triumphant debut in the Valley of Jehosephat. Then, at the end of the seven year period (the prophet Daniel’s seventieth week), you’ll be up close and personal as the Anti-Christ is revealed in the Temple, darkening the sun, and turning the moon a beautiful, romantic, blood red — complemented with an outpouring of God’s wrath as the second half of the Tribulation begins. If you enjoy being a part of history and a surveyor of human misery, this is the patron package for you!
Pledge $400 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
0 patrons
Executive Producer!!!!!!!
For those of you who can afford to dig down really deep and help our shows with a minimum of $400 per video ($800 per month), you’ll be credited as and Executive Producer in the end credits of each and every episode of Mr. Deity and The Way of the Mister during the tenure of your patronage. Think of how incredibly sexy, powerful, and financially interesting you'll appear when you tell people you're an "Executive Producer." That kind of cachet simply can't be bought. And all for a mere $400 per video!!!
Pledge $500 or more per writing, directing, shooting, acting, editing, composing, etc...
0 patrons
Dinner and a Show (not it that order)!!!!!!!!!!
Is there anything better than someone unhooking that velvet rope and welcoming you backstage? That's exactly what you're get when you become a $500 per video ($1000 per month) patron of the Mr. Deity show. So long as you can find your way to the movie capital of Los Angeles. and the home of Warner Bros. Studios — Burbank, CA — we'll welcome you onto our set as we breath deeply, focus our energy, remember our lines, and shoot an episode of Mr. Deity. Then, when the hijinks are over and our first AC has yelled, 'That's a wrap!", you'll be whisked off to dinner with the cast for more fun than is legally allowed by the state of California. But don't worry, if you're caught, we'll pay the fine. *Travel to and from Los Angeles not included.