Professor Freeky is creating tea blends and meme-tastic arts
2

patrons

$2
per creation


That tea seller has arrived, bitches.

The world has too many horribly fake, earth mother, sugary sweet type people trying to sell you things, when what we REALLY need (possibly) is people who'll tell it like it is. People who are "earthy." People who won't hide shit that's kinda scary but isn't likely to happen. People who are me.

I'm Nicole. I love heavy metal and cats and being angry about bullshit and tea. I feel like tea is for everyone, not just people who want to calm the fuck down, and I'm making it my job to balance out all the shenanigans that you generally find in the tea and herb business.
Shit's gonna be awesome, guys. Come with me on this journey.

Tiers
$1 (hey i heard sex sells is it working?)
$1 or more per creation 2 patrons


  • Early access to content like recipes and art
  • Process/behind-the-scenes
$5 I'm not good at naming things, okay?
$5 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • small jar filled with a randomly selected tea blend each month
  • Plus all previous rewards
$15 and stuff
$15 or more per creation 0 patrons


  • A personalized tea that I will keep in stock (herbal/tisane only, please allow 6-8 weeks for tea to actually be a thing)
  • Plus all previous rewards
Seriously, some of these teas are just going to be named swearwords.
$20 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 oz of your personalized tea sent to you every month
  • If this tier is replaced, you will instead recieve a small jar of random tea
  • Plus all previous rewards
Oh shit, son. Now we're getting to the good stuff.
$35 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • Personalized tea (may contain rooibos, chai, or mediocre quality tea leaves as well as herbal type stuff. Please allow 6-8 weeks for tea to be a thing.). This replaces the $15 tier.
  • Plus all previous rewards
Aw snap you know you want it.
$40 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 oz of your personalized tea every month. Replaces $20 tier.
  • If this tier is replaced, you will instead recieve a small jar of random tea
  • Plus all previous rewards
I actually have no idea how much this will cost me in real life.
$55 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • Personalized tea created and kept in stock made of anything (high quality tea, organic ingredients, w/e I can get my hands on legally [except yellow tea or vanilla bean] Please allow me to figure out how to get a table at the farmer's market, because my wholesaler needs me to have a meatspace location and not just an online store, and then like I dunno, 6-8 weeks? No idea. This shit comes from China but they are located in my city, soooo). Replaces $15 and $35 tiers.
  • Plus all previous rewards
Holy grail tea delivered right to your mailbox! FUCK!
$60 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 ounces of your personalized tea sent to you each month. Replaces $20 and $40 tiers.
  • Plus all previous rewards
Goals
$2 of $100 per creation
So. 100 bucks a month. That'd be outstanding, and here are a few things I could do with it:
  1. Restock small amounts of tea, or add new ones to my existing stock
  2. Gradually buy better and larger storage containers instead
Needless to say, these are both good things. Having more teas that I create will give you all a bigger selection to choose from (or randomly get, perhaps!) and storage containers will make sure that my stock will not go stale quickly. Everyone benefits!
1 of 5


That tea seller has arrived, bitches.

The world has too many horribly fake, earth mother, sugary sweet type people trying to sell you things, when what we REALLY need (possibly) is people who'll tell it like it is. People who are "earthy." People who won't hide shit that's kinda scary but isn't likely to happen. People who are me.

I'm Nicole. I love heavy metal and cats and being angry about bullshit and tea. I feel like tea is for everyone, not just people who want to calm the fuck down, and I'm making it my job to balance out all the shenanigans that you generally find in the tea and herb business.
Shit's gonna be awesome, guys. Come with me on this journey.

Recent posts by Professor Freeky

Tiers
$1 (hey i heard sex sells is it working?)
$1 or more per creation 2 patrons


  • Early access to content like recipes and art
  • Process/behind-the-scenes
$5 I'm not good at naming things, okay?
$5 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • small jar filled with a randomly selected tea blend each month
  • Plus all previous rewards
$15 and stuff
$15 or more per creation 0 patrons


  • A personalized tea that I will keep in stock (herbal/tisane only, please allow 6-8 weeks for tea to actually be a thing)
  • Plus all previous rewards
Seriously, some of these teas are just going to be named swearwords.
$20 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 oz of your personalized tea sent to you every month
  • If this tier is replaced, you will instead recieve a small jar of random tea
  • Plus all previous rewards
Oh shit, son. Now we're getting to the good stuff.
$35 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • Personalized tea (may contain rooibos, chai, or mediocre quality tea leaves as well as herbal type stuff. Please allow 6-8 weeks for tea to be a thing.). This replaces the $15 tier.
  • Plus all previous rewards
Aw snap you know you want it.
$40 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 oz of your personalized tea every month. Replaces $20 tier.
  • If this tier is replaced, you will instead recieve a small jar of random tea
  • Plus all previous rewards
I actually have no idea how much this will cost me in real life.
$55 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • Personalized tea created and kept in stock made of anything (high quality tea, organic ingredients, w/e I can get my hands on legally [except yellow tea or vanilla bean] Please allow me to figure out how to get a table at the farmer's market, because my wholesaler needs me to have a meatspace location and not just an online store, and then like I dunno, 6-8 weeks? No idea. This shit comes from China but they are located in my city, soooo). Replaces $15 and $35 tiers.
  • Plus all previous rewards
Holy grail tea delivered right to your mailbox! FUCK!
$60 or more per creation 0 patrons

  • 2 ounces of your personalized tea sent to you each month. Replaces $20 and $40 tiers.
  • Plus all previous rewards