Rude Alchemy is creating Podcasts
19

patrons

$119
per month
Welcome, dear listeners, to the Rudiment Alchemic, the dungeon of our ethereal playspace that transcends space-time. Descend through the cavernous Depths of our hivemind, wriggle through the sulfurous tunnels of our hellsmouth, and discover hidden treasures amongst the pockets of nightmares and scrabbling unnamed abominations. The deeper you dig, the darker and more magical the rewards.

To begin, place a monthly monetary value on our podcast. WE DARE YOU. The dusty planks of our basement will then curl open for you to grab your pickaxe and reap the glinting gemmary and gaseous euphoria of our haunted little mine like the soot-faced child laborer you are. Unearth riches like:

  • Blooper reels from every season
  • Soundtrack libraries
  • Shout-outs on Chatter and Lore
  • Personalized audio gifts from the Narrator
  • and many more unimaginable objects of your all-consuming greed

As you delve through layer after layer, you’ll surrender more and more of the lie you call a self, forgetting even your own name as you unquestioningly abandon your meaningless being to the dread firmament of this, our society, this, our essence, this, our Rudiment Alchemic! Join!
Tiers
Crawlspace
$1 or more per month 2 patrons


Admission into the Rudiment Alchemic. Scratch your name on the underside of our floorboards, and put your ear to our vents to hear whispered secrets pumped from the cavernous deep.
  • Receive advance access to season titles, teasers, trailers, gossip, Announcer's Corner exclusives, and other heresy.
Vault
$3 or more per month 5 patrons
A gleaming gold key to our vault-o-bloopers. Laugh and cry-laugh as you listen to us make mistakes and bicker like a bunch of thin-skinned human infants.
  • Receive access to blooper reels from all seasons
  • All Rewards for previous Depths
Catacomb
$5 or more per month 5 patrons
Tremble at the sight of Those Who Came Before. Your name shall be called on record in this fabled hall.
  • The creators will shout-you-out on all episodes of Chatter & Lore
  • All Rewards for previous Depths
Tomb
$10 or more per month 7 patrons
Peel open the coffin lid. Can you hear his voice echo amongst the cobweb and bone?
  • Receive a free recording (1 minute or less) by our beloved Narrator [Use this for a voicemail message, bridal party intro, an audio dear john letter, use your imagination!] (Allow 1 month for delivery)
  • All Rewards for previous Depths
Goals
$119 of $250 per month
Heartbreakingly, our core creators live in disparate parts of the country, and therefore, there is great expense involved in meeting in person. Despite this hardship, we persevere and meet for retreats several times a year. These retreats are when we cram a lot of the big-picture creative work and season-planning. Those who bring us to this first benchmark will be cordially invited to eat, drink and be merry with us via the internet during our next retreat. Platform TBD.
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Welcome, dear listeners, to the Rudiment Alchemic, the dungeon of our ethereal playspace that transcends space-time. Descend through the cavernous Depths of our hivemind, wriggle through the sulfurous tunnels of our hellsmouth, and discover hidden treasures amongst the pockets of nightmares and scrabbling unnamed abominations. The deeper you dig, the darker and more magical the rewards.

To begin, place a monthly monetary value on our podcast. WE DARE YOU. The dusty planks of our basement will then curl open for you to grab your pickaxe and reap the glinting gemmary and gaseous euphoria of our haunted little mine like the soot-faced child laborer you are. Unearth riches like:

  • Blooper reels from every season
  • Soundtrack libraries
  • Shout-outs on Chatter and Lore
  • Personalized audio gifts from the Narrator
  • and many more unimaginable objects of your all-consuming greed

As you delve through layer after layer, you’ll surrender more and more of the lie you call a self, forgetting even your own name as you unquestioningly abandon your meaningless being to the dread firmament of this, our society, this, our essence, this, our Rudiment Alchemic! Join!

Recent posts by Rude Alchemy

Tiers
Crawlspace
$1 or more per month 2 patrons


Admission into the Rudiment Alchemic. Scratch your name on the underside of our floorboards, and put your ear to our vents to hear whispered secrets pumped from the cavernous deep.
  • Receive advance access to season titles, teasers, trailers, gossip, Announcer's Corner exclusives, and other heresy.
Vault
$3 or more per month 5 patrons
A gleaming gold key to our vault-o-bloopers. Laugh and cry-laugh as you listen to us make mistakes and bicker like a bunch of thin-skinned human infants.
  • Receive access to blooper reels from all seasons
  • All Rewards for previous Depths
Catacomb
$5 or more per month 5 patrons
Tremble at the sight of Those Who Came Before. Your name shall be called on record in this fabled hall.
  • The creators will shout-you-out on all episodes of Chatter & Lore
  • All Rewards for previous Depths
Tomb
$10 or more per month 7 patrons
Peel open the coffin lid. Can you hear his voice echo amongst the cobweb and bone?
  • Receive a free recording (1 minute or less) by our beloved Narrator [Use this for a voicemail message, bridal party intro, an audio dear john letter, use your imagination!] (Allow 1 month for delivery)
  • All Rewards for previous Depths