Small Beans

is creating Comedic Writings, Podcasts, Film, Rap, and Other Shenanigans.

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The Triple Threat Society!

per month
Triple Threats are entitled to an unenforceable sense of vague superiority over the Buck-A-Monthers. A perfect membership for the medium bean.

ALL Small Beans members are entitled to early access to content as well as occasional bonus content available to members only.

Includes Discord benefits

The Cool Beans Club!

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reward item
per month
Cool Beans are the only human beans with access to ALL Small Beans content. Aside from the early access and occasional bonus content available to all members, Cool Beans will enjoy access to occasional Beanus Content, available to Cool Beans ONLY. 

Enjoy all that SB has to offer! Free your soul, eh? Be a frijole.

Includes Discord benefits

"Show Me Yours" Producer

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reward item
per month
Oh me, oh my! It's time for you to show us yours! The "I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours" podcast needs producers! And for ten spankerinos you can be the right bean for the job!
By pledging to this tier, you'll get the community benefits of all lower tiers, but additionally:
- the opportunity to pitch topics to Adam and Maggie!
- the opportunity to vote exclusively on the topic of the month (shared only by other members of the tier)!
- Bonus content from the show, including extra episodes!
- Named in a producer section of the podcast every episode!

Topic submissions will be via email. You can email us at any time 1 suggestion per month at [email protected]. By doing so, you're submission will be voted on each month by you and members of this tier (ONLY). 
The voting will occur on a monthly post that follows each episode.




per month

About Small Beans

Thank you, future patron!

Yes, we can see the future. You want to donate already; don't you? BTW, the future involves all your wildest comedy dreams coming true, this web page, and a modicum of patronage. If you're a fan, please, help us keep making stuff. If you're not a fan, check out all our free stuff and see if you might actually be a fan in not-a-fan-yet's clothing!

THE SCOOP/POOP: Hello. My name is Michael Swaim. I and my associate in the trenchcoat here (AKA Abe "AKA" Epperson) make what the kids call "content." We've retired from our long tenures at, where we TORE SHIT UP for some 10 years apiece, and now we're rarin' to make some bold content moves that are sure to shift paradigms right to the edge of your butts!

So hey, let's go nuts on each other. Let's share exclusive, behind-the-scenes looks at all of our upcoming content, which will range from screenplays, to podcasts, to exclusive sketches and shorts. Please -- explore the page, and if you can spare it, consider supporting our efforts not to end up as bagboys at your local Trader Joe's.

Not that we wouldn't be good at it, because we'd be GREAT. Bags all organized as hell, cold to drygoods, all that.

<3 Michael and Abe (and Pals!)
$6,422.49 of $8,000 per month

No more, no less. At this level of support, all of our podcasts can continue, new ones can be developed, and our low-impact video series like LifeHax, Small Beautiful Things, and Family Meeting can pop up from time to time. We will also post frequent streams, provide behind-the-scenes access, and launch special projects like sketches, music, radio-plays, and live events whenever we can find the resources.

Keep beanin' with us. The best is yet to bean.
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