The Satire Press

is creating weekly news updates via satire

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patrons

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per month

Who Are We?

     We are a company who sat back, watched ignorant politicians, radical leftists, delusional women, macho men, and world leaders make some of the stupidest, most ludicrous decisions of our time and thought, "...We can make a ton of money off of these clowns!"
     And thus was born The Satire Press, a blog that is devoted to bringing you the news via comedy; and believe you us, as long as those bimbos listed above continue to exist, we-will-be-here!

Our Vision

     We are here to bring you the latest and greatest about what is going on in the United States and the world through posts, articles, and reports by way of satire. We hope to make you giggle in the middle of a college lecture, wet your pants around your boyfriend, laugh a fart out in front of that girl you are trying to impress and invite them to do the same!


Please Consider Supporting Our Scared Interns by Being a Patreon

     With our enemies being the dumb Far Left and the brainless Alt-right, we are sandwiched in between two parties that seek our demise. But luckily, we have a swarthy number of interns who are all hiding in the basement of our office, scared for their sad lives, whom we will place out in front of our office to keep it safe so that we can continue to do our work behind closed, safe doors. Unfortunately for our junior interns, they will be going off on their security patrol unarmed. But with your help, we can make their cause worthy! For just $5, you can help us forge zombie apocalypse weapons to place in their capable, trembling, sweaty hands. Armed with these deadly weapons and their fight-or-flight instincts, you enable us to keep focusing on our great task of bringing you the weekly national and international news through satire.
Tiers
I Supplied An Intern With A Battle Ax
$5 or more per month

With our enemies being both the dumb Far Left and the clueless Alt-right, we are sandwiched in between two parties that seek our demise. But luckily, we have a swarthy number of interns who are all hiding in the basement of our office, scared for their sad lives, whom we place out in front of our building to keep it safe so that we can continue to do our work behind closed, safe doors.


Believe you us, you think that they thought it was crazy that we were throwing them out to the wolves unarmed and based on your support, you should have seen their faces when we told them that they weren't getting paid for it either. 


But the good news is that by becoming a Sponsor of one of our Helpless Interns for $5/month, you enable us to keep doing what we do at The Satire Press. 


When we saw that their lives were indeed at stake, we gave our interns a supply of battle axes to use in self-defense if they felt their lives were at stake. Despite how empty they may be, Antifa's and the Alt-Right's heads are so thick that our interns keep breaking the ax blades against their attackers' noggins. It really can get scary seeing something so void of sense trying to kill you. But! You can supply our Interns with a new battle ax by subscribing to this tier! It might make their attackers daze just long enough for them to escape...we'll see, anyway.


As a reward for this tier, you shall receive one of our stickers that is limited to just our Patreons 

Goals
$0 of $500 per month
We promised our Interns that if we reached $500 that we would run out and give them a coffee break. 
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Who Are We?

     We are a company who sat back, watched ignorant politicians, radical leftists, delusional women, macho men, and world leaders make some of the stupidest, most ludicrous decisions of our time and thought, "...We can make a ton of money off of these clowns!"
     And thus was born The Satire Press, a blog that is devoted to bringing you the news via comedy; and believe you us, as long as those bimbos listed above continue to exist, we-will-be-here!

Our Vision

     We are here to bring you the latest and greatest about what is going on in the United States and the world through posts, articles, and reports by way of satire. We hope to make you giggle in the middle of a college lecture, wet your pants around your boyfriend, laugh a fart out in front of that girl you are trying to impress and invite them to do the same!


Please Consider Supporting Our Scared Interns by Being a Patreon

     With our enemies being the dumb Far Left and the brainless Alt-right, we are sandwiched in between two parties that seek our demise. But luckily, we have a swarthy number of interns who are all hiding in the basement of our office, scared for their sad lives, whom we will place out in front of our office to keep it safe so that we can continue to do our work behind closed, safe doors. Unfortunately for our junior interns, they will be going off on their security patrol unarmed. But with your help, we can make their cause worthy! For just $5, you can help us forge zombie apocalypse weapons to place in their capable, trembling, sweaty hands. Armed with these deadly weapons and their fight-or-flight instincts, you enable us to keep focusing on our great task of bringing you the weekly national and international news through satire.

Recent posts by The Satire Press

Tiers
I Supplied An Intern With A Battle Ax
$5 or more per month

With our enemies being both the dumb Far Left and the clueless Alt-right, we are sandwiched in between two parties that seek our demise. But luckily, we have a swarthy number of interns who are all hiding in the basement of our office, scared for their sad lives, whom we place out in front of our building to keep it safe so that we can continue to do our work behind closed, safe doors.


Believe you us, you think that they thought it was crazy that we were throwing them out to the wolves unarmed and based on your support, you should have seen their faces when we told them that they weren't getting paid for it either. 


But the good news is that by becoming a Sponsor of one of our Helpless Interns for $5/month, you enable us to keep doing what we do at The Satire Press. 


When we saw that their lives were indeed at stake, we gave our interns a supply of battle axes to use in self-defense if they felt their lives were at stake. Despite how empty they may be, Antifa's and the Alt-Right's heads are so thick that our interns keep breaking the ax blades against their attackers' noggins. It really can get scary seeing something so void of sense trying to kill you. But! You can supply our Interns with a new battle ax by subscribing to this tier! It might make their attackers daze just long enough for them to escape...we'll see, anyway.


As a reward for this tier, you shall receive one of our stickers that is limited to just our Patreons