Ash is creating A documentary exploring gender identity and transgender issues
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My name is Ash, I am a trans girl living in Colorado Springs. More than that, I am an artist and a filmmaker. Since starting my transition 7 months ago, I have had an increasing interest in pursuing a documentary exploring gender identity and what it means to be transgender. I finally decided to bite the bullet and give it a shot. 

About my work

I have been working in the film industry for a little over 7 years as a DoP. "What is a DoP?" you might ask. DoP stands for "Director of Photography". Basically, I make all the pretty pictures that you see on screen. I have done everything from feature films to commercials. But now I want to focus on something that is meaningful to me.

The Project


My story starts with my mom. When she was in the womb, she was exposed to a chemical called DES. It was thought at the time that DES would ultimately ensure a healthy pregnancy. As many as 10 million women were exposed in their life times. They later found out that DES was harmful causing several different types of cancer and many other defects. This was all pushed to the side and along comes little old me, born on Feb 20th a healthy baby boy...

The earliest memory of things feeling “wrong” would have been around the age of 5. This feeling continued on and on through my childhood. By the time I hit puberty, my body was in full revolt. I fell into a massive depression. How could I tell someone that I felt like a girl trapped in a boys body? I was shy and reclusive to begin with. I was in hell. 


                             
Fast forward to college. I started adopting different personas to fit in and mask the turbulence beneath the surface. My sadness and depression was hidden behind the veil of false confidence and hyper masculinity. I built up a throne of achievements to make myself feel better. I only felt empty.



Then I met the love of my life and things changed. Phil taught me how to be happy, how to enjoy life, how to cut loose and yet something was still wrong. Each facade that I would shed for him put another crack in the foundation of the lie that I was living. Till one day it broke. I started binging on alcohol and drugs to try and hold on. Grasping for air and full of humility I told my husband what I had feared the most. I told him that I was transgender. That I wanted to be me. That I wanted to transition.
     
That was a hard pill to swallow as you might imagine. We still talk about that moment from time to time. Recounting the thoughts and emotions of that one simple moment when everything changed. 12 months of therapy and 6 months of hormones leaves me here. Someone who has been to the edge of oblivion and made it back in one piece.

Remember that DES that I was talking about? Well since I started my transition I remembered what my mom went through when I was younger. She had to get a hysterectomy and still suffers some of the 
effects of her exposure to the drug. That got me thinking… Could this have an effect on me? I started researching DES exposure and gender identity. Sure enough there it was. And the kicker is that this exposure seems to span generations.

Now the purpose of this documentary isn’t to point fingers at any one thing and blame them for my problems. No. In fact, its purpose is to explore some of the possible environmental causes of gender identity, how certain life experiences might play a roll and explore how chemical processes in the womb might have a bearing on our identity as an adult.


As I go through my transition I want you to experience it with me. All the ups and downs, victories and failures.

What do I need?


For starters I would love to have enough money each month to travel and complete at least one interview. I already own all my own equipment (cameras, lenses, lights, ect) so at least that part is already taken care of. Every penny helps me move towards the goal of working on this documentary full time.

Where will the money go?


All fundraising for this project will go directly into the production. Your donations will pay for travel, an Audio engineer, and a second camera operator. With enough funding it will also pay for my time to focus on the completion of the documentary full time.

What will I be using to film this project?


I own a Sony FS7 and a set of cine lenses. I have used this camera kit on a lot of jobs over the past year. Trust me, it is an outstanding documentary camera. I will also be shooting some B-roll on the DJI Osmo and the Sony a6300. This means that I will maintain a strict quality standard for this project. Check out some of my recent projects below!







You can also check me out on IMDB here!

Ultimately my goal for this project is to help educate the public on gender identity and transgender issues. By raising awareness, we are able to help others in a similar situation as well as broaden the acceptance of nonbinary individuals.
 
Tiers
Pledge $5 or more per month
0 patrons
Exclusive behind the scenes details and location photos updated after each shoot.
Pledge $20 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus Digital copy of the completed film
Pledge $50 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus access to behind the scenes footage
Pledge $100 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus access to complete interviews, production notes and your name in the 'Special Thanks' section of the credits.
Pledge $500 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above as well as sneak peeks of the film as it comes together.
Pledge $1,000 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus your name in the credits as an associative producer.
Pledge $2,000 or more per month
0 patrons
Access to all the content that I create as well as an Executive producer credit. Monthly updates from me personally.
Goals
$0 of $500 per month
If I reach $500 a month I will be able to travel by myself to various locations for interviews.
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My name is Ash, I am a trans girl living in Colorado Springs. More than that, I am an artist and a filmmaker. Since starting my transition 7 months ago, I have had an increasing interest in pursuing a documentary exploring gender identity and what it means to be transgender. I finally decided to bite the bullet and give it a shot. 

About my work

I have been working in the film industry for a little over 7 years as a DoP. "What is a DoP?" you might ask. DoP stands for "Director of Photography". Basically, I make all the pretty pictures that you see on screen. I have done everything from feature films to commercials. But now I want to focus on something that is meaningful to me.

The Project


My story starts with my mom. When she was in the womb, she was exposed to a chemical called DES. It was thought at the time that DES would ultimately ensure a healthy pregnancy. As many as 10 million women were exposed in their life times. They later found out that DES was harmful causing several different types of cancer and many other defects. This was all pushed to the side and along comes little old me, born on Feb 20th a healthy baby boy...

The earliest memory of things feeling “wrong” would have been around the age of 5. This feeling continued on and on through my childhood. By the time I hit puberty, my body was in full revolt. I fell into a massive depression. How could I tell someone that I felt like a girl trapped in a boys body? I was shy and reclusive to begin with. I was in hell. 


                             
Fast forward to college. I started adopting different personas to fit in and mask the turbulence beneath the surface. My sadness and depression was hidden behind the veil of false confidence and hyper masculinity. I built up a throne of achievements to make myself feel better. I only felt empty.



Then I met the love of my life and things changed. Phil taught me how to be happy, how to enjoy life, how to cut loose and yet something was still wrong. Each facade that I would shed for him put another crack in the foundation of the lie that I was living. Till one day it broke. I started binging on alcohol and drugs to try and hold on. Grasping for air and full of humility I told my husband what I had feared the most. I told him that I was transgender. That I wanted to be me. That I wanted to transition.
     
That was a hard pill to swallow as you might imagine. We still talk about that moment from time to time. Recounting the thoughts and emotions of that one simple moment when everything changed. 12 months of therapy and 6 months of hormones leaves me here. Someone who has been to the edge of oblivion and made it back in one piece.

Remember that DES that I was talking about? Well since I started my transition I remembered what my mom went through when I was younger. She had to get a hysterectomy and still suffers some of the 
effects of her exposure to the drug. That got me thinking… Could this have an effect on me? I started researching DES exposure and gender identity. Sure enough there it was. And the kicker is that this exposure seems to span generations.

Now the purpose of this documentary isn’t to point fingers at any one thing and blame them for my problems. No. In fact, its purpose is to explore some of the possible environmental causes of gender identity, how certain life experiences might play a roll and explore how chemical processes in the womb might have a bearing on our identity as an adult.


As I go through my transition I want you to experience it with me. All the ups and downs, victories and failures.

What do I need?


For starters I would love to have enough money each month to travel and complete at least one interview. I already own all my own equipment (cameras, lenses, lights, ect) so at least that part is already taken care of. Every penny helps me move towards the goal of working on this documentary full time.

Where will the money go?


All fundraising for this project will go directly into the production. Your donations will pay for travel, an Audio engineer, and a second camera operator. With enough funding it will also pay for my time to focus on the completion of the documentary full time.

What will I be using to film this project?


I own a Sony FS7 and a set of cine lenses. I have used this camera kit on a lot of jobs over the past year. Trust me, it is an outstanding documentary camera. I will also be shooting some B-roll on the DJI Osmo and the Sony a6300. This means that I will maintain a strict quality standard for this project. Check out some of my recent projects below!







You can also check me out on IMDB here!

Ultimately my goal for this project is to help educate the public on gender identity and transgender issues. By raising awareness, we are able to help others in a similar situation as well as broaden the acceptance of nonbinary individuals.
 

Recent posts by Ash

Tiers
Pledge $5 or more per month
0 patrons
Exclusive behind the scenes details and location photos updated after each shoot.
Pledge $20 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus Digital copy of the completed film
Pledge $50 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus access to behind the scenes footage
Pledge $100 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus access to complete interviews, production notes and your name in the 'Special Thanks' section of the credits.
Pledge $500 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above as well as sneak peeks of the film as it comes together.
Pledge $1,000 or more per month
0 patrons
All of the above plus your name in the credits as an associative producer.
Pledge $2,000 or more per month
0 patrons
Access to all the content that I create as well as an Executive producer credit. Monthly updates from me personally.