#KeepVanessaAlive

is creating more opportunities to rest, release, heal, and love.

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I got a dolla on you boo! #together!

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reward item
$1
per month
I don't actually differentiate the tiers, I'm grateful for all support. What ever you are able to offer and share with me is a blessing, and I honor you and your care DEEPLY. Times are tough right now and it means the world to me that in the midst of all thats happening in the world, you're choosing to invest in me and my healing. I love you and I believe in the world we're creating. May you get all you give and more. With so much love, Vanessa <3 

$3 for your cute face!

$3
per month
I don't actually differentiate the tiers, I'm grateful for all support. What ever you are able to offer and share with me is a blessing, and I honor you and your care DEEPLY. Times are tough right now and it means the world to me that in the midst of all thats happening in the world, you're choosing to invest in me and my healing. I love you and I believe in the world we're creating. May you get all you give and more. With so much love, Vanessa <3

$5 to Stay Alive

reward item
reward item
$5
per month
I don't actually differentiate the tiers, I'm grateful for all support. What ever you are able to offer and share with me is a blessing, and I honor you and your care DEEPLY. Times are tough right now and it means the world to me that in the midst of all thats happening in the world, you're choosing to invest in me and my healing. I love you and I believe in the world we're creating. May you get all you give and more. With so much love, Vanessa <3

148

patrons

$1,116

per month

About #KeepVanessaAlive

Hey Family!!!!!!!!

Welcome to my #KeepVanessaAlive Patreon Page!!!!! I am so happy, grateful, and deeply honored to see you here. You are truly a blessing for wanting to support me and my healing. I love you!!!!!

Let me keep it real friends, I'm tired. I'm so tired. I've been through so much these last six years. There has been love. There has been magic. And Good Goddess has there been creativity. I created the UGLY Conference, founded Reclaim UGLY (Uplift, Glorify, Love Yourself & Create A World Where Others Can As Well), taught free theatre classes centered in Black Healing, produced Free performances, hosted 7 years of a Bay Area Open Mic, facilitated an abundance of No One Turned Away Workshops, wrote articles, wrote a book (to soon be released), and gave so many talks and keynotes. It's been a rainstorm of magic, and I love it. I'm so proud and so grateful for each and every opportunity to exist, create, and collaborate.

But in the midst of this beauty, your girl has been having some hard times. From revenge porn films being released about me, to sexual assault from a trusted friend and Reclaim UGLY volunteer, to vicious and pervasive online bullying and community harassment (including in my home), to being stalked, and eventually losing professional and housing opportunities because of lies and revenge – these years have taken a toll on my mental and spiritual health. A recent assault impacted me so intensely that I had to pause on all of my professional relationships. Violence and trauma didn't just take my much needed income, it ripped a part the thin thether that was holding me together and left me splattered and seaping. While I believe myself to naturally be a juicy and dynamic person, I'm currently dried up. My source is feeling brittle and dehydrated. I need some help, some support, some tender love and care. 

I've realized that I need to take a full professional pause and direct my creative energy to caring for my body and my mental health. I need to confront and engage with my trauma, full on, with the support of seasoned healers. I've lost capacity to write, to facilitate, to hold basic responsibility. I've been having non-stop anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. My creativity ran away and refuses to return my calls. I'm hurt, suffering, and I want to save my life. Hence, this #KeepVanessaAlive Patreon push.

And I know that you are here because you care about me. Perhaps we're friends. Perhaps my writing has helped you move through some hard things. Perhaps you've heard me on a podcast or saw a video or follow me on social media. Whatever brought you here, I cant thank you enough. Even if you aren't in a position to support me financially right now, knowing that you care and are interested in my healing and wellness is more than enough!!!!!

For those of you who are able to become a patron: your generous gifts will provide me with the opportunity to take a pause from work and focus on taking care of myself, breathing life back into my body and energy back into my heart. You're offering me a gift that Black people so rarely receive, the opportunity to lay my burdens down, unpack them at the pace of my own healing, and begin the process of healing and saving my own life. Thank you.

You also probably know that I identify as a healer. I heal through the arts, through creating space, through writing, and through the erotic. By focusing on my healing in the midst of my sorrow and depression, I know that I will re-emerge a stronger healer. If I allow myself to go through this journey with the sacred support of my elders, I will one day soon be able to support other people through their own divine healing process. But now is the time for me to focus on me, to go inward, to sleep, to cry, to yell, to move my body, to grow and cook my own food, and to receive help.

Thank you for loving me enough to want to help. Thank you for supporting my rest. Thank you for helping me heal.

Love,
Vanessa

My Artsy-Fartsy Poetic Bio <3 

Vanessa Rochelle Lewis is a healer with a satchel full of medicine words,
A conjuror with desire to nurture other artists as they create magic and save lives,
A faery mermaid gangsta for the revolution,
A lush-bodied, Black femme Goddess motivated by sensuality and freedom,
An educator and performer with a passionate exuberance for silliness, laughter, and the
stage,
A starlet who doesn’t want to be in the spotlight alone,
A lover of all things collective, emergent, and interdependent,
A wild-seed born and blossomed in South Central, Los Angeles,
A fighter with fists born of circumstance and a heart that refused to harden,
A warrior committed to freedom, brow dripping with resilience, wings crusted with
diamonds that grew from trauma healed,
A sunbeam drama kid, always ready to explore the whimsy of imagination with others,
A dreamer who’s hungry for more – more understanding, more expansive enlightenment,
more friendship, more growth, more compassion, more love, more creativity, more access
for her people,
An activist committed to unpacking the seeds, kernels, and fabrics of social justice,
liberation for all, collaborative healing
An alchemist who knows how to turn spirit-wounds into magic, oppression into possibility,
resentment into vulnerability, insecurity into self-expansion, anger into love,
An Ethical Hedonist & Pleasure Activist, committed to the transformative potency of using
joy as a tool for decolonial healing and movement work,
A good witch who highly values compassion, love, forgiveness, and using the forces that be
for generative transformation over revenge,
A Domme Mistress, Sweet Bratty Princess, and Lap Kitten with a love for tender, gentle things; devotion and nurture; power exchange; role play; deeply consensual BDSM relationships; subs of all genders and expressions;  Femme Dommes, intimacy; and sex magic,
A survivor, through and through, and extremely proud of it,
An unapologetically integrated person – intersectional, full, sensual, able to be held accountable, and unwilling to compromise any part of herself,
A Free Black Woman,
A lover of words, bodies and expression,
And a goofy, romantic, and rascally flirt.




Goals
$1,116.08 of $1,800 per month
My goal is to focus on healing, releasing, and eventually creating content without having to earn survival money. $1800  is the cost of my most basic survival needs. It covers my portion of our mortgage ($1000), utilities ($130-$200), cellphone bills ($100), and a stealthy food budget ($500). Reaching this goal would be a life saver. Thank you deeply for helping me to save my life. I think this is attainable. I have $12,000 IG friends. If each friend could offer $1.50, we could reach this in a heart beat!!!!
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