Pennies suck! You know it. I know it. You can't buy anything with a penny, not even pocket lint or toenail clippings. And that's not even mentioning that pennies are racist bastards! You tell store clerks to keep pennies and the internet is packed with articles about uses for them other than spending. Beyond driving screws and checking the wear on your tires, most of those articles boil down to gluing them to shit. Covered a vase in pennies! Tile your floor with pennies! Cover your toilet seat with pennies! It's surprisingly comfortable!

What else? Fill your shoes as a cheap alternative to those copper socks everybody has to have now. If you garden, you can put a ring of them around your plants to create an electric fence for slugs, and I guess the socks also solve that problem with slugs all over your feet. When I was a kid we used to lay them out on the train tracks. ("This is for all that racist crap!") You could look for wheat pennies, but that's like the odds of getting struck by lightning. On second thought, you're wearing copper socks, you're definitely getting struck by lightning.

What if you could do something cool and useful with a penny? What if your pennies could save the world?! (Or at least Benson Arizona?)

My name is Sam, I'm a comedian and cartoonist at Woohooligan.com since 2006. After beating cancer in late 2015, my mission is "laughter for a better world". What I mean is that I have two goals: first to make you laugh and have a fantastic day, and second to help raise consciousness about important issues and solutions to problems both in your life (like stress and the electrocution risks of copper socks), and in the world (like gender inequality and racist pennies).

I've made cartoons and articles about the meaning of life, racism, gender inequality, autism, Trump, free speach, human nature, the Afordable Care Act (Obamacare - surprisingly relevant now seven years later) and the problem with "stand your ground" laws. Also, I tell dick jokes. Sometimes people get offended by that, they say "you can't raise consciousness with dick jokes!" To which I reply, "not even the tip?" Also, "raising consciousness with dick jokes" is a pretty spot-on description of the internet. It helps us share information, solve problems, and masturbate. Some people then say, "but you're not made up of lots of people like the internet." To that I say, "how do you know I'm not?" None of us exist in a vacuum or spring from Zues' head fully formed like Athena. We're all a product of our experiences and connections to family, friends and community. So we make awesome happen together. Coming together is always better!

There's also a long history of comedians raising consciousness with dick jokes. Three of my greatest inspirations have been the Daily Show's John Stewart, Adam Conover, and George Carlin, all people who raised consciousness and all fine purveyors of sophisticated, artisinal dick jokes, with top-hats and monocles.

In addition to comedic inspirations, I'm also influenced by nerdy people like you, my fans who enjoy Star Wars, Star Trek, comic books like BatMan, video games, Tolkien and a host of other nerdy things. I love talking with my fans, and when you enjoy something I made, I make more of it.

This is how those three pennies you didn't want can make the world better. Every morning when you work your way through the line to order your artisinal, half-caf, almond-kale, low-carbon-footprint, venti espressafrappalatecino with fair-trade, dolphin-safe, frat-free goat's milk and an extra shot, there's gonna be a little change left over from your order. Just reach into that change, pull out three pennies, and save them for me. Although they don't mean anything to you, a few of your friends doing this every day keeps my internet on so I can bring you these laughs and social commentaries you guys love!

Patreon is a new kind of crowdfunding site that lets you use your pennies for good on a regular basis. You decide how much to pledge each month, as little as just three pennies a day (that's $1 each month), and Patreon handles the rest. And if there's ever a time when you don't feel like you can afford that dollar, you can cancel your pledge any time.

The best part is that by sharing your pennies, your time, and your thoughts, you get to be a big part of creating something awesome in the world! Come chat with us on the site, and you'll help us decide what to create together, whether that's about Star Wars, income inequality, video games, politics, Star Trek, science, the truth about weight loss, or how the bible is packed with dick jokes!

Every month I also try to create at least one extra bonus comic as a treat for my Patrons here who've shared their pennies, and there are over 85 of those bonus pages so far. If you've got a little extra cash, you can certainly pledge more and at higher levels I offer other special rewards as a thank-you, like entries into a monthly art raffle, Google hangouts or even books. So to pledge that three-pennies a day, you can go here, or select a higher amount from the list on the right.

Whether you pledge or not, I'm glad you're enjoying my work! Come chat with us on the Woohooligan comic site and remember that sharing them with your friends is also a big help!

Thank You!

p.s. If you happen to be a webcomic creator, I'm now offering reviews just to help you out, because I know how hard you work and how hard it is to get exposure. You can see my previous reviews and my review rules on my Tumblr.