Summer Hale is creating Approved News 6
175

patrons

$1,865
per month
Approved News 6 brings you daily updates on politics, international relations, auspicious celestial alignments, bone heresy, Contamination, the sound of someone or something breathing heavily just behind you, and  REDACTED ! Demonstrate your loyalty, patriotism, and obedience to your shadowy mistresses and masters by supporting us in our effort to bring quality, accurate*, & approved journalism to your screen and/or secret brain implants every day.

Despite our backing by innumerable shadow governments and ancient conspiracies, Approved News 6 needs your help in these trying economic times to pay its dedicated, hard-working reporters who risk the lives, souls, and flesh purity of themselves, their family, and their audience daily to bring you the latest in what you are allowed to know about your world.

Residents in the Maine Forced Labor Zone may deduct pledges under "patriotic expenditures" for purposes of sleep ration point calculation.

*Note that Approved News 6, like all approved news sources, reserves one day each year on which to publish nothing but lies, to honor the Lobster King.
Tiers
Status PENSIVE CAPYBARA
$1 or more per month 66 patrons
Those contributing any amount of money per month will receive a proportional degree of protection from the ravening maws of the News Hounds.
Status WISTFUL EGRET
$2 or more per month 18 patrons
Those donating $2 per month  may be subject to highly invasive brain control surgery by shadowy forces at any time.
Status TRIUMPHANT WARTHOG
$3 or more per month 5 patrons
Those donating $3 per month may discover the truth behind the eerie sounds beneath their garden.
Status GRUESOME BADGER
$4 or more per month 14 patrons
Those donating $4 per month may be chemically preserved for future news scientists to meticulously dissect

Includes
  • Access to full articles
Status [REDACTED] LEMUR
$6 or more per month 11 patrons
Those donating $6 per month may be [REDACTED] by [REDACTED] for purposes of [REDACTED].
Status UNCONQUERED SURICATE
$7 or more per month 56 patrons
Those donating $7 per month will ascend beatifically into the sky and discover the terrible truth that lurks beyond.

Includes
  • Access to monthly digests, including horoscopes and classifieds.
  • America's undying gratitude.
  • Snakes.
Goals
$1,865 of $2,500 per month
Paywalled content will be released to the public one month after publication.
2 of 3
Approved News 6 brings you daily updates on politics, international relations, auspicious celestial alignments, bone heresy, Contamination, the sound of someone or something breathing heavily just behind you, and  REDACTED ! Demonstrate your loyalty, patriotism, and obedience to your shadowy mistresses and masters by supporting us in our effort to bring quality, accurate*, & approved journalism to your screen and/or secret brain implants every day.

Despite our backing by innumerable shadow governments and ancient conspiracies, Approved News 6 needs your help in these trying economic times to pay its dedicated, hard-working reporters who risk the lives, souls, and flesh purity of themselves, their family, and their audience daily to bring you the latest in what you are allowed to know about your world.

Residents in the Maine Forced Labor Zone may deduct pledges under "patriotic expenditures" for purposes of sleep ration point calculation.

*Note that Approved News 6, like all approved news sources, reserves one day each year on which to publish nothing but lies, to honor the Lobster King.

Recent posts by Summer Hale

Tiers
Status PENSIVE CAPYBARA
$1 or more per month 66 patrons
Those contributing any amount of money per month will receive a proportional degree of protection from the ravening maws of the News Hounds.
Status WISTFUL EGRET
$2 or more per month 18 patrons
Those donating $2 per month  may be subject to highly invasive brain control surgery by shadowy forces at any time.
Status TRIUMPHANT WARTHOG
$3 or more per month 5 patrons
Those donating $3 per month may discover the truth behind the eerie sounds beneath their garden.
Status GRUESOME BADGER
$4 or more per month 14 patrons
Those donating $4 per month may be chemically preserved for future news scientists to meticulously dissect

Includes
  • Access to full articles
Status [REDACTED] LEMUR
$6 or more per month 11 patrons
Those donating $6 per month may be [REDACTED] by [REDACTED] for purposes of [REDACTED].
Status UNCONQUERED SURICATE
$7 or more per month 56 patrons
Those donating $7 per month will ascend beatifically into the sky and discover the terrible truth that lurks beyond.

Includes
  • Access to monthly digests, including horoscopes and classifieds.
  • America's undying gratitude.
  • Snakes.