The Orcish Librarian is creating MTG Cosplay, Humor, and Original Fiction
3
patrons
Hello, human friend!

Like you, I am a fellow human, and NOT just an orc in cargo shorts! And, just like you, I enjoy many perfectly-normal, totally-human activities, such as cosplay photography, Magic: The Gathering, and writing!

...

...

...

OK, who am I kidding? I'm an orc. And, if you've managed to find me here, then you probably know I'm an orc. Hopefully you're cool with that. And, if you're not, then, at the very least, can you please not tell the condo board? They have a VERY strict policy about non-human occupants, and I'm kind of already in trouble over the whole book-eating thing.

Anyway, I'm an orc, and I eat books. (Trust me — they're tastier than you think.) But when I'm not eating books, I'm probably on the Twitters, cracking-wise about MTG. Or at the latest MagicFest, cosplaying as Eron the Relentless from Homelands (no, seriously...), or doing free photoshoots for the other much cooler, much more talented MTG cosplayers. And I write, too! Whether it's a bad pun, or a 280-character quick fic, or a novel-length collection of original fiction, I'm on the supply-side of words as well as the demand-side. (And, by "demand-side," I mean eating them. But, again, I think we've already established that.)

I do all these things because I love doing them, and because I love sharing them with you! Which is why this is strictly a tip jar Patreon, and all the MTG content I create is going to remain completely and 100-percent cheap-as-free. You'll still be able to find all my writing and photography and other assorted wackiness on Twitter, Tumblr, and Trungler — and I'm pretty sure that at least two of those three are real — so this Patreon will never be a paywall. If you've been sharing in my wacky adventures up until now, then (A) I love you and (B) it won't cost you a cent to keep coming along for the ride. However, there are some not-inconsiderable costs associated with being the sort of zany orc I most like to be. Books aren't free — not according to the terms of my settlement with Barnes & Noble, at least — and the expenses for travelling cross-country to MagicFests, maintaining my fiction website, and upgrading my camera equipment can prevent me from being as active in the MTG community as I'd otherwise really like to be. So, if you choose to make a monthly contribution, then (A) you are incredibly generous and kind-hearted and (B) you will have earned the eternal gratitude of one big, green, book-eating orc.

So thank you again, and please remember that you are fab.

And now, the OBLIGATORY FAN CONTENT DISCLAIMER (TM)!

All MTG-inspired content featured on this page is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Wizards of the Coast Fan Content Policy. It is not approved or endorsed by Wizards, and, as far as I know, they think my jokes are lame. Chandra does not return my calls, and Ajani has been giving me the stink eye ever since I ate that tuna sandwich he was saving for later. (Seriously, Ajani, there are Sharpies next to the fridge for a reason!) Portions of the materials used here are the property of Wizards of the Coast, and are © Wizards of the Coast LLC. (The good portions, mostly. Not the portions with Cheeto dust on them. I did those portions.)
Tiers
Hero of Ulgrotha
$1 or more per month

Just to be clear, you don't have to do this. You don't have to pay anything at all to participate in and/or suffer from my wacky shenanigans. And all I can offer you in return for your incredibly generous support is a simple "thank you" and some serious Cosmic Luv-Ya's.


(Attorney's Note: Cosmic Luv-Ya's are not legal tender.)


So, if you're choosing to support me anyway, then you either (A) don't understand how money works or (B) are a seriously generous and kind-hearted person.


I'm just going to assume that it's Option B, and say thanks! 


Seriously. Thank you. 

Hello, human friend!

Like you, I am a fellow human, and NOT just an orc in cargo shorts! And, just like you, I enjoy many perfectly-normal, totally-human activities, such as cosplay photography, Magic: The Gathering, and writing!

...

...

...

OK, who am I kidding? I'm an orc. And, if you've managed to find me here, then you probably know I'm an orc. Hopefully you're cool with that. And, if you're not, then, at the very least, can you please not tell the condo board? They have a VERY strict policy about non-human occupants, and I'm kind of already in trouble over the whole book-eating thing.

Anyway, I'm an orc, and I eat books. (Trust me — they're tastier than you think.) But when I'm not eating books, I'm probably on the Twitters, cracking-wise about MTG. Or at the latest MagicFest, cosplaying as Eron the Relentless from Homelands (no, seriously...), or doing free photoshoots for the other much cooler, much more talented MTG cosplayers. And I write, too! Whether it's a bad pun, or a 280-character quick fic, or a novel-length collection of original fiction, I'm on the supply-side of words as well as the demand-side. (And, by "demand-side," I mean eating them. But, again, I think we've already established that.)

I do all these things because I love doing them, and because I love sharing them with you! Which is why this is strictly a tip jar Patreon, and all the MTG content I create is going to remain completely and 100-percent cheap-as-free. You'll still be able to find all my writing and photography and other assorted wackiness on Twitter, Tumblr, and Trungler — and I'm pretty sure that at least two of those three are real — so this Patreon will never be a paywall. If you've been sharing in my wacky adventures up until now, then (A) I love you and (B) it won't cost you a cent to keep coming along for the ride. However, there are some not-inconsiderable costs associated with being the sort of zany orc I most like to be. Books aren't free — not according to the terms of my settlement with Barnes & Noble, at least — and the expenses for travelling cross-country to MagicFests, maintaining my fiction website, and upgrading my camera equipment can prevent me from being as active in the MTG community as I'd otherwise really like to be. So, if you choose to make a monthly contribution, then (A) you are incredibly generous and kind-hearted and (B) you will have earned the eternal gratitude of one big, green, book-eating orc.

So thank you again, and please remember that you are fab.

And now, the OBLIGATORY FAN CONTENT DISCLAIMER (TM)!

All MTG-inspired content featured on this page is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Wizards of the Coast Fan Content Policy. It is not approved or endorsed by Wizards, and, as far as I know, they think my jokes are lame. Chandra does not return my calls, and Ajani has been giving me the stink eye ever since I ate that tuna sandwich he was saving for later. (Seriously, Ajani, there are Sharpies next to the fridge for a reason!) Portions of the materials used here are the property of Wizards of the Coast, and are © Wizards of the Coast LLC. (The good portions, mostly. Not the portions with Cheeto dust on them. I did those portions.)

Recent posts by The Orcish Librarian

Tiers
Hero of Ulgrotha
$1 or more per month

Just to be clear, you don't have to do this. You don't have to pay anything at all to participate in and/or suffer from my wacky shenanigans. And all I can offer you in return for your incredibly generous support is a simple "thank you" and some serious Cosmic Luv-Ya's.


(Attorney's Note: Cosmic Luv-Ya's are not legal tender.)


So, if you're choosing to support me anyway, then you either (A) don't understand how money works or (B) are a seriously generous and kind-hearted person.


I'm just going to assume that it's Option B, and say thanks! 


Seriously. Thank you.