bleak is creating community support and safety
28

patrons

$248
per month

hey all! i am currently safely housed for the time being, but still not getting enough money to be able to pay for moving or monthly expenses such as food, toiletries &c, let alone be able to save up for an emergency, disaster, or sudden medical expense that me or those i'm close to might incur. in addition, should i need to secure housing in the near future i'm still making far too little to reliably pay for that. at the cost of personal comfort and perhaps safety, i set aside a lot of these funds to support those in need around me.

i need patreon to get by because i'm currently waiting for my disability claim to process, which i have been doing for *three years*. initial application, denial, appeal, denial of that appeal, and now i am at the point of needing to go to a hearing before a judge so i can get this cleared up. god only knows when that day will come, so i need some help in the meantime.

i'm struggling to reach my original goal of $300 a month, which to be honest is probably still going to leave me in a situation where i have to choose between necessities each month. i don't deserve that. today i've been sitting in my bedroom for six hours waiting for the energy required to *eat breakfast*.

if you don't feel comfortable or able to provide a recurring monthly expense via patreon, you can contribute in other ways - 
my wishlist has the most pressing needs on it and is generally a good indicator of where my patreon money goes.
wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1H17HR...
paypal: https://www.paypal.me/bleaky

you can also share these links, and/or vouch for me and what i am doing, why i am doing it. essentially, selling myself by persuading people to contribute to my continued existence isn't really something i have the inclination, ability, or resources to do.

GOALS

now that i've got that out of the way, let me tell you a little about my goals and dreams. what i want for myself isn't really important. i have desires of my own, of course, but i've lived so long unable to indulge them that i don't see them as relevant. the short term plan is to remain in the bay area until the disability process finalizes, at which point it'll be harder for me to be financially attached to any place. as that's happening, and as circumstances permit, i'm teaching myself linux, and once i'm done with that i'll learn network topography, protocols, that whole area.

the next goal out from that is getting one or more security certifications, which will pave the road to starting an infosec career. if i can earn enough money off of that i can start an infosec/networking worker's co-op with the aim of equipping people with the tools or skills to make and maintain their own public or private networks, and i'll also use that opportunity to proselytize mesh networks. creating new avenues to pay people in the community is a really nice bonus to this as well.

without going into minute technical detail, a mesh network is essentially democratized internet. our internet is currently routed through several very thick bundles of wire right now, and a mesh network does away with that. meaning, ideally, no more ISPs, no more wondering if your connecction is private enough, and no subscription fees. with this technology in place, one could easily create a free and widely accessible central repository for resources and information. contact directories for services, for a start: housing, food, healthcare, legal aid, you name it.

in particular i see a pressing need for such a central repository for trans healthcare and other related topics, and that is the driving force behind these plans as described here. a meshnet can integrate with the regular internet by piggybacking atop it, but not only that, it can leapfrog it entirely. i fully don't expect that to happen, but it's a nice thought anyway. i've grander plans but they lack feasibility.

until i can position myself toward those goals i'm working with local community/political orgs and structures to support and strengthen my community's ability to thrive, prevent or mitigate incidences of state violence, and have our political voices be heard. statecraft and political actions are only a couple aspects of how i'm working towards this but i'm only one (heavily disabled) body with limited resources, and activism doesn't pay the bills. that's where you come in.

TRANSPARENCY:

so, here's what's happening with your money. it is going to feed, house, clothe, teach me, as well as help me to remain web connected. it will keep me safe, or safer, at least. i've found it's nearly all i can do to convalesce from the fresh traumas arising and still manage to take a shower often enough to resemble humanity. it will provide tools and supplies to me and the people i work with in order to provide and protect where the state fails and exercises malice and neglect. on top of enabling me personally to pursue my goals, it will enable us, collectively, to pursue our goals.

while i'm doing the above work i'm free to explore my hobbies, which are studying critical theory and working with audio- music, editing, and some voice work even, various and spontaneous art projects as the spirit moves me. i also plan to teach myself python, not with any particular project in mind, but i'd like to be able to make my own tools at some point. all this stuff will be freely available, and it is so far, though all i've really put out besides a stray academic-sounding thought are a handful of lugubrious ambient selections, a short twine, and of course all the stuff i mentioned in the paragraphs above.
Tiers
Pledge $5 or more per month
23 patrons
Allows access to the full library of photography, high res image raws available upon request.
Goals
$248 of $300 per month
this amount combined with what i earn elsewhere will allow me to scrape out the most modest of livings. just enough to keep the mental health demons at bay. well, hopefully.
1 of 4

hey all! i am currently safely housed for the time being, but still not getting enough money to be able to pay for moving or monthly expenses such as food, toiletries &c, let alone be able to save up for an emergency, disaster, or sudden medical expense that me or those i'm close to might incur. in addition, should i need to secure housing in the near future i'm still making far too little to reliably pay for that. at the cost of personal comfort and perhaps safety, i set aside a lot of these funds to support those in need around me.

i need patreon to get by because i'm currently waiting for my disability claim to process, which i have been doing for *three years*. initial application, denial, appeal, denial of that appeal, and now i am at the point of needing to go to a hearing before a judge so i can get this cleared up. god only knows when that day will come, so i need some help in the meantime.

i'm struggling to reach my original goal of $300 a month, which to be honest is probably still going to leave me in a situation where i have to choose between necessities each month. i don't deserve that. today i've been sitting in my bedroom for six hours waiting for the energy required to *eat breakfast*.

if you don't feel comfortable or able to provide a recurring monthly expense via patreon, you can contribute in other ways - 
my wishlist has the most pressing needs on it and is generally a good indicator of where my patreon money goes.
wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1H17HR...
paypal: https://www.paypal.me/bleaky

you can also share these links, and/or vouch for me and what i am doing, why i am doing it. essentially, selling myself by persuading people to contribute to my continued existence isn't really something i have the inclination, ability, or resources to do.

GOALS

now that i've got that out of the way, let me tell you a little about my goals and dreams. what i want for myself isn't really important. i have desires of my own, of course, but i've lived so long unable to indulge them that i don't see them as relevant. the short term plan is to remain in the bay area until the disability process finalizes, at which point it'll be harder for me to be financially attached to any place. as that's happening, and as circumstances permit, i'm teaching myself linux, and once i'm done with that i'll learn network topography, protocols, that whole area.

the next goal out from that is getting one or more security certifications, which will pave the road to starting an infosec career. if i can earn enough money off of that i can start an infosec/networking worker's co-op with the aim of equipping people with the tools or skills to make and maintain their own public or private networks, and i'll also use that opportunity to proselytize mesh networks. creating new avenues to pay people in the community is a really nice bonus to this as well.

without going into minute technical detail, a mesh network is essentially democratized internet. our internet is currently routed through several very thick bundles of wire right now, and a mesh network does away with that. meaning, ideally, no more ISPs, no more wondering if your connecction is private enough, and no subscription fees. with this technology in place, one could easily create a free and widely accessible central repository for resources and information. contact directories for services, for a start: housing, food, healthcare, legal aid, you name it.

in particular i see a pressing need for such a central repository for trans healthcare and other related topics, and that is the driving force behind these plans as described here. a meshnet can integrate with the regular internet by piggybacking atop it, but not only that, it can leapfrog it entirely. i fully don't expect that to happen, but it's a nice thought anyway. i've grander plans but they lack feasibility.

until i can position myself toward those goals i'm working with local community/political orgs and structures to support and strengthen my community's ability to thrive, prevent or mitigate incidences of state violence, and have our political voices be heard. statecraft and political actions are only a couple aspects of how i'm working towards this but i'm only one (heavily disabled) body with limited resources, and activism doesn't pay the bills. that's where you come in.

TRANSPARENCY:

so, here's what's happening with your money. it is going to feed, house, clothe, teach me, as well as help me to remain web connected. it will keep me safe, or safer, at least. i've found it's nearly all i can do to convalesce from the fresh traumas arising and still manage to take a shower often enough to resemble humanity. it will provide tools and supplies to me and the people i work with in order to provide and protect where the state fails and exercises malice and neglect. on top of enabling me personally to pursue my goals, it will enable us, collectively, to pursue our goals.

while i'm doing the above work i'm free to explore my hobbies, which are studying critical theory and working with audio- music, editing, and some voice work even, various and spontaneous art projects as the spirit moves me. i also plan to teach myself python, not with any particular project in mind, but i'd like to be able to make my own tools at some point. all this stuff will be freely available, and it is so far, though all i've really put out besides a stray academic-sounding thought are a handful of lugubrious ambient selections, a short twine, and of course all the stuff i mentioned in the paragraphs above.

Recent posts by bleak

Tiers
Pledge $5 or more per month
23 patrons
Allows access to the full library of photography, high res image raws available upon request.