Catherynne M. Valente is creating Rule-Breaking Science Fiction, Fantasy, & Writing About Writing
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patrons


Greetings, fellow humans! My name is Catherynne M. Valente and I am an untamed, unreformed, unstoppable perpetrator of fiction. For thirteen years I have published in every imaginable venue and style, from self-publishing to major New York and international presses, from science fiction to fantasy to horror to realism, novels, short fiction, blogging, podcasting and poetry. I'm a New York Times bestseller and have been nominated for every award in my field, and have won the Hugo, Tiptree, Andre Norton, Lambda, Locus, and Mythopoeic Awards. And I kill at karaoke.

I also have three cats, two dogs, six chickens, and a very grouchy boiler who all have this weird thing where they insist on eating canned food and joint supplements and heating oil every day. The nerve!

And because life is strange and combustibl and never did run smooth, I am also going through a divorce, and things are financially rather difficult right now. Being a full-time writer and being responsible for a mortgage, lawyers, and health care for my family is a volatile experiment with uncertain results at best.


I want to stop stress-grinding my teeth at night and I want to put more fiction into the world. And I don’t just mean my own fiction. I want to help you guys write awesome books and stunning stories! (It’s very selfish, honestly. I just want more awesome things to read.) The world needs stories. Without stories, it’s nothing but Terms of Service and 24 Hour Winter Storm Coverage and What Did You Know Who Say On Twitter

Thus the Mad Fiction Laboratory was born--or will be with your help!


very month, I will conduct the MAD EXPERIMENT: a comedic essay addressing some aspect of the writing world: characterization, dialogue, worldbuilding, marketing, getting an agent, how to be a good panelist at conventions, representation, writing sex/fight/battle/exposition/extended dance sequences, experimental and traditional structure, organizational tools, avoiding and/or embracing cliché, that sort of thing.

In addition to the Monthly Experiment, you can sign up to receive an exclusive look at the project I’m working on that month, as well as access to Google Hangouts, Skype calls, video Q & As, Tuckerizations, acknowledgements, and the chance to have me critique your work. You can also suggest topics for further Experiments or schedule a writing date with me. Anything I can do to help you develop as an artist, learn to complain more thoroughly and deeply about books and movies at your next family gathering—or at least give you a bit of a laugh.

Or if you just want to throw a couple of bucks in the jar to keep the boiler from devouring us all, that’s great, too.

And who knows—if the stars align and the colliders collide and Megatastic Laser Exposition Ray gets off the ground, the Laboratory might be able to bang together a podcast or a video series out of whatever is lying around when we finish with the lizard trials.

It’s all about madness and the science of fiction. Let’s make stuff up together.




Tiers
LAB ASSISTANT
$1 or more per month
You're supporting me and I love you and science loves you. You are keeping the story beakers bubbling and the lights on in the Lab. You'll get access to the PATRON ONLY ACTIVITY FEED and my eternal gratitude. 
MAD TECHNICIAN
$5 or more per month
You are supporting me even more. The Lab can finally get that exposition leak patched up and calm the beasts in the Quarantine Area. You'll get the PATRON ONLY ACTIVITY FEED as above *PLUS* exclusive access to the MONTHLY EXPERIMENT: a comedic essay addressing aspects of writing and/or publishing: characterization, dialogue, worldbuilding, marketing, extended dance sequence, getting an agent, etc.
TOTALLY VOLUNTARY TEST SUBJECTS
$10 or more per month
You are a Lab-Certified Wonderful Human Being. The boiler has promised to hold off on total enraged sentience at least until next Tuesday. Now we can keep the Bad Writing Centrifuge spinning out the crap for hours at a time! You’ll get ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE  *PLUS* an EARLY LOOK at whatever Cat is working on that month—unreleased chapters, short stories excerpts, poems, etc.   
TOP SECRET UNVERIFIED RESEARCH
$15 or more per month
You are very popular with the denizens of the Lab. There’s a photo of you up in the break room next to the Melodramatic Coffee Maker. You'll get ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE *PLUS* receive an exclusive PATRON ONLY not-featured-on social-media top-shelf image of one of the LABORATORY DENIZENS you are helping to support. (Will this be a photo of my terminally floofy, definitely real despite appearances Samoyed puppy? My Improbably Giant Cats? Or a watercolor portrait of Synecdoche the Crackpot Robot?) WHO CAN SAY?
MAD POST DOC STUDENT
$20 or more per month
You're supporting me so much I might explode. In unrelated news, the Lab can finally break ground on our Exploding Wordcount Accelerator! You'll get ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE, *PLUS* take part in FIELD WORK: a monthly video Q&A on Google Hangout. Q&As may cover any subject, not limited to explosions, writing, or publishing. I also know a lot about contagious diseases. Why? No reason. Why would you ask that? Everyone needs a hobby. 
GUEST LECTURER
$50 or more per month
You are a wonderful, generous soul who will definitely be spared when the Print Apocalypse comes. Thanks to you, the Lab can spring for running water and three out of four door locks at last! ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE, *PLUS* I will use your name, (or the name of one your characters, or your mother, or your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate) in a future EXPERIMENT or SHORT STORY or NOVEL EVEN (and if possible credit you). Note: it make take me a while to get to it depending on how popular this reward is.
RESEARCH FELLOW
$100 or more per month
We’ve lit a stick of incense under your photo in the break room. The boiler has been busy making you a Valentine—it’s very messy and is mostly a picture of you on fire, but that’s how psychotic boilers show love. ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE  *plus* I will PUT YOU IN THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS of my next published single volume work.
PARTNERS IN WORDCRIME
$150 or more per month
The LAB DENIZENS are performing interpretive dances about how amazing you are with Erlehnmeyer flasks, pipettes, and typewriter ribbons stolen from passing hipsters. Let the Lab light a fire under you. You’ll get ALL OF THE REWARD ABOVE  *PLUS* a MONTHLY WRITING DATE with me and other partners in wordcrime over Google Hangout wherein you and I (and possibly the cats) will write together for two hours without stopping. Kickstart your work without the convenient excuse of doing it another day.  
MAD OFFICE HOURS
$250 or more per month
Gratitude doesn’t begin to cover how the Lab feels about you. The Table of Fictional Elements blushes whenever you walk by. This morning, the chickens laid eggs shaped like all your hopes and dreams. The boiler started singing torch songs and drawing hearts on the basement walls with BOILR + YOU written inside them. You’ll receive ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE *PLUS* a PERSONAL SKYPE CHAT where we can talk about whatever you want: getting started in publishing, your book, the latest developments in kitchen gadgetry, whether Battlestar Galactica screwed up their ending more or less than Lost. 
PEER REVIEW
$500 or more per month
You are rapidly approaching sainthood in the pantheon of the Lab. All Lab denizens have been given your birthday off. There’s a poster of you secretly taped up in all the employee lockers. They’re only serving your favorite foods in the cafeteria and the Large Plotpoint Collider keeps asking when you’re going to come and visit. In thanks for your astonishing support, you get EVERYTHING ABOVE (exluding MAD OFFICE Reward) and Cat will READ A SHORT STORY OF YOURS (or 50 pages of a longer work) and CRITIQUE IT WITH YOU over the phone or skype. 
FACULTY CHAIR
$1,000 or more per month
EVERYTHING ABOVE plus ADVANCE PAPER COPIES of anything I publish: SIGNED and PERSONALIZED with a HANDWRITTEN letter. If I don’t have anything coming out that month, you will receive a MYSTERY GIFT from the lab. This could be a hard-to-find edition of my early work, a painting or hand knit/crocheted creation by yours truly, a hand-filked song recorded just for you, it could be anything - ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
Goals
88% complete
This is the big one for us. If the Lab could pull this off, I could take maternity leave this fall for our newborn and survive. We could pay for the birth without serious disaster, and get enough health care coverage to insure the baby. This would quite literally save us. 

I have a big reward in mind for this level, but I'm still deciding how to implement it, so consider this a placeholder for a Really Big Deal-Thing to be announced in a few weeks.
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Greetings, fellow humans! My name is Catherynne M. Valente and I am an untamed, unreformed, unstoppable perpetrator of fiction. For thirteen years I have published in every imaginable venue and style, from self-publishing to major New York and international presses, from science fiction to fantasy to horror to realism, novels, short fiction, blogging, podcasting and poetry. I'm a New York Times bestseller and have been nominated for every award in my field, and have won the Hugo, Tiptree, Andre Norton, Lambda, Locus, and Mythopoeic Awards. And I kill at karaoke.

I also have three cats, two dogs, six chickens, and a very grouchy boiler who all have this weird thing where they insist on eating canned food and joint supplements and heating oil every day. The nerve!

And because life is strange and combustibl and never did run smooth, I am also going through a divorce, and things are financially rather difficult right now. Being a full-time writer and being responsible for a mortgage, lawyers, and health care for my family is a volatile experiment with uncertain results at best.


I want to stop stress-grinding my teeth at night and I want to put more fiction into the world. And I don’t just mean my own fiction. I want to help you guys write awesome books and stunning stories! (It’s very selfish, honestly. I just want more awesome things to read.) The world needs stories. Without stories, it’s nothing but Terms of Service and 24 Hour Winter Storm Coverage and What Did You Know Who Say On Twitter

Thus the Mad Fiction Laboratory was born--or will be with your help!


very month, I will conduct the MAD EXPERIMENT: a comedic essay addressing some aspect of the writing world: characterization, dialogue, worldbuilding, marketing, getting an agent, how to be a good panelist at conventions, representation, writing sex/fight/battle/exposition/extended dance sequences, experimental and traditional structure, organizational tools, avoiding and/or embracing cliché, that sort of thing.

In addition to the Monthly Experiment, you can sign up to receive an exclusive look at the project I’m working on that month, as well as access to Google Hangouts, Skype calls, video Q & As, Tuckerizations, acknowledgements, and the chance to have me critique your work. You can also suggest topics for further Experiments or schedule a writing date with me. Anything I can do to help you develop as an artist, learn to complain more thoroughly and deeply about books and movies at your next family gathering—or at least give you a bit of a laugh.

Or if you just want to throw a couple of bucks in the jar to keep the boiler from devouring us all, that’s great, too.

And who knows—if the stars align and the colliders collide and Megatastic Laser Exposition Ray gets off the ground, the Laboratory might be able to bang together a podcast or a video series out of whatever is lying around when we finish with the lizard trials.

It’s all about madness and the science of fiction. Let’s make stuff up together.




Recent posts by Catherynne M. Valente

Tiers
LAB ASSISTANT
$1 or more per month
You're supporting me and I love you and science loves you. You are keeping the story beakers bubbling and the lights on in the Lab. You'll get access to the PATRON ONLY ACTIVITY FEED and my eternal gratitude. 
MAD TECHNICIAN
$5 or more per month
You are supporting me even more. The Lab can finally get that exposition leak patched up and calm the beasts in the Quarantine Area. You'll get the PATRON ONLY ACTIVITY FEED as above *PLUS* exclusive access to the MONTHLY EXPERIMENT: a comedic essay addressing aspects of writing and/or publishing: characterization, dialogue, worldbuilding, marketing, extended dance sequence, getting an agent, etc.
TOTALLY VOLUNTARY TEST SUBJECTS
$10 or more per month
You are a Lab-Certified Wonderful Human Being. The boiler has promised to hold off on total enraged sentience at least until next Tuesday. Now we can keep the Bad Writing Centrifuge spinning out the crap for hours at a time! You’ll get ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE  *PLUS* an EARLY LOOK at whatever Cat is working on that month—unreleased chapters, short stories excerpts, poems, etc.   
TOP SECRET UNVERIFIED RESEARCH
$15 or more per month
You are very popular with the denizens of the Lab. There’s a photo of you up in the break room next to the Melodramatic Coffee Maker. You'll get ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE *PLUS* receive an exclusive PATRON ONLY not-featured-on social-media top-shelf image of one of the LABORATORY DENIZENS you are helping to support. (Will this be a photo of my terminally floofy, definitely real despite appearances Samoyed puppy? My Improbably Giant Cats? Or a watercolor portrait of Synecdoche the Crackpot Robot?) WHO CAN SAY?
MAD POST DOC STUDENT
$20 or more per month
You're supporting me so much I might explode. In unrelated news, the Lab can finally break ground on our Exploding Wordcount Accelerator! You'll get ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE, *PLUS* take part in FIELD WORK: a monthly video Q&A on Google Hangout. Q&As may cover any subject, not limited to explosions, writing, or publishing. I also know a lot about contagious diseases. Why? No reason. Why would you ask that? Everyone needs a hobby. 
GUEST LECTURER
$50 or more per month
You are a wonderful, generous soul who will definitely be spared when the Print Apocalypse comes. Thanks to you, the Lab can spring for running water and three out of four door locks at last! ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE, *PLUS* I will use your name, (or the name of one your characters, or your mother, or your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate) in a future EXPERIMENT or SHORT STORY or NOVEL EVEN (and if possible credit you). Note: it make take me a while to get to it depending on how popular this reward is.
RESEARCH FELLOW
$100 or more per month
We’ve lit a stick of incense under your photo in the break room. The boiler has been busy making you a Valentine—it’s very messy and is mostly a picture of you on fire, but that’s how psychotic boilers show love. ALL OF THE REWARDS ABOVE  *plus* I will PUT YOU IN THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS of my next published single volume work.
PARTNERS IN WORDCRIME
$150 or more per month
The LAB DENIZENS are performing interpretive dances about how amazing you are with Erlehnmeyer flasks, pipettes, and typewriter ribbons stolen from passing hipsters. Let the Lab light a fire under you. You’ll get ALL OF THE REWARD ABOVE  *PLUS* a MONTHLY WRITING DATE with me and other partners in wordcrime over Google Hangout wherein you and I (and possibly the cats) will write together for two hours without stopping. Kickstart your work without the convenient excuse of doing it another day.  
MAD OFFICE HOURS
$250 or more per month
Gratitude doesn’t begin to cover how the Lab feels about you. The Table of Fictional Elements blushes whenever you walk by. This morning, the chickens laid eggs shaped like all your hopes and dreams. The boiler started singing torch songs and drawing hearts on the basement walls with BOILR + YOU written inside them. You’ll receive ALL THE REWARDS ABOVE *PLUS* a PERSONAL SKYPE CHAT where we can talk about whatever you want: getting started in publishing, your book, the latest developments in kitchen gadgetry, whether Battlestar Galactica screwed up their ending more or less than Lost. 
PEER REVIEW
$500 or more per month
You are rapidly approaching sainthood in the pantheon of the Lab. All Lab denizens have been given your birthday off. There’s a poster of you secretly taped up in all the employee lockers. They’re only serving your favorite foods in the cafeteria and the Large Plotpoint Collider keeps asking when you’re going to come and visit. In thanks for your astonishing support, you get EVERYTHING ABOVE (exluding MAD OFFICE Reward) and Cat will READ A SHORT STORY OF YOURS (or 50 pages of a longer work) and CRITIQUE IT WITH YOU over the phone or skype. 
FACULTY CHAIR
$1,000 or more per month
EVERYTHING ABOVE plus ADVANCE PAPER COPIES of anything I publish: SIGNED and PERSONALIZED with a HANDWRITTEN letter. If I don’t have anything coming out that month, you will receive a MYSTERY GIFT from the lab. This could be a hard-to-find edition of my early work, a painting or hand knit/crocheted creation by yours truly, a hand-filked song recorded just for you, it could be anything - ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.