Cannonball Statman is creating songs, words, noises, videos, concerts, screaming, and music
5

patrons

$15
per month
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY SCREEN?!”

Hi, I’m Cannonball Statman! I’m a human who was named after a band, which was named after my childhood dog, who was named after a train.

I grew up in New York City, and I’ve been living and traveling around the world for several years now, writing, performing, and recording my own music, while also working on video projects and collaborating with a variety of other artists whenever possible. By becoming a patron of mine, you not only help me afford to eat, sleep, and clothe myself in the capitalist hellscape that is life in the 21st century, but you also receive lots of fun rewards, and I’ll be able to pay for goods and services that can improve the quality and scope of my work.

********

“Hey Cannonball, I haven’t seen you in awhile! What’ve you been up to?”

Ahh, sorry I’ve been out of touch! Yeah, it’s been way too long! How’ve you been? Let’s catch up next time we’re in the same time zone. I’m playing a show in your town in February!

Well, in the first four months of 2018, I went on an extensive tour of East Asia, Europe, and North America with my album Playing Dead, which I’d recorded in October the previous year with a solid rock and roll band and a marvelous producer (Ben Turner), and tells the story of a talking cow who attempts to hitchhike to Mumbai from her farm in Kentucky, with the help of her pet pigeon; then I spent a few months hibernating on the couches and spare beds of various friends and family members, writing, recording, and releasing an acoustic album on a broken computer called Modern Elephants, which combines stories from my travels in the US with sleep deprivation-induced hallucinations of elephants stampeding across the planet and eradicating all human life. Soon, I was back on the road, gigging in Europe and recording a new EP, Interdimensional Ice Cream Cake, to be released in the summer of 2019.

And, I started a Patreon, where anyone who wants to make monetary contributions to my existence and the production of future Cannonbalbums, tours, and other projects, while getting some fun rewards in return, can do so without even leaving their apartment! 2019 is already looking to be a year full of Cannonballistic creations, so get ready...

Hope everything’s been good with you!
Cannonball

********

“This all sounds cool and interesting, but what if I don’t want to become a patron of you? What if I don’t want to become a patron of anyone, except for my cat? His name is Edward, and I’m going to fill your email inbox with pictures of him so you know what a majestic being he is. Here’s a picture of him standing on top of my kitchen counter while I’m trying to cook. Do you like that? There’s more where that came from. Oh, there’s so much more. And right now, as I’m typing this, I have ten million dollars in my hand, and I’m going to spend it all on lottery tickets for Edward, so he can be a billionaire, and then he can purchase his very own McMansion and colonize the solar system.”


I will literally feed you to the elephants.

(I won’t actually feed you to the elephants)
Tiers
Semi-Cannonballist!
$1 or more per month

You’re (almost) a Cannonballist, and we’re all very eager to welcome you into the cult of Cannonballism when you realize resisting your fate is inevitable.


Now you have:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for patrons!

Cannonballists!
$5 or more per month only 297 left

You’re a Cannonballist, and we’re all completely Cannonballistic to welcome you into the weird wide world of Cannonballism. 


Now you have:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for Cannonballists!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!

Barking Cannonballists!
$10 or more per month only 50 left

You’re a Cannonballist who barks, which means you’re probably a dog, so we’re even more Cannonballistic to welcome you into our secret society than we were when we assumed you were a mere human.


Now you have:

- twice a year, one Cannonballistic merchandise item (including, but not limited to: autographed CDs, lyric sheets, and T-shirts) delivered to your door!


AND:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for Cannonballists!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!

Woof woof WOOF!!!
$20 or more per month only 50 left

You’re so dedicated to the cult of Cannonballism that 80% of your conversations and 90% of your dreams are in Doglish! Woof woof woof woof woof!!! Woof! WOOOOOOF!!!


Woof woof woof:

- your name listed in the “special thanks” section for all of Cannonball’s future releases! (this is limited to 50 devotees!!!)

- WOOOOOOOOOOF!!!!!!


WOOF:

- twice a year, one Cannonballistic merchandise item (including, but not limited to: autographed CDs, lyric sheets, and T-shirts) delivered to your door!

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for the most completely dedicated devotees of Cannonballism!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY SCREEN?!”

Hi, I’m Cannonball Statman! I’m a human who was named after a band, which was named after my childhood dog, who was named after a train.

I grew up in New York City, and I’ve been living and traveling around the world for several years now, writing, performing, and recording my own music, while also working on video projects and collaborating with a variety of other artists whenever possible. By becoming a patron of mine, you not only help me afford to eat, sleep, and clothe myself in the capitalist hellscape that is life in the 21st century, but you also receive lots of fun rewards, and I’ll be able to pay for goods and services that can improve the quality and scope of my work.

********

“Hey Cannonball, I haven’t seen you in awhile! What’ve you been up to?”

Ahh, sorry I’ve been out of touch! Yeah, it’s been way too long! How’ve you been? Let’s catch up next time we’re in the same time zone. I’m playing a show in your town in February!

Well, in the first four months of 2018, I went on an extensive tour of East Asia, Europe, and North America with my album Playing Dead, which I’d recorded in October the previous year with a solid rock and roll band and a marvelous producer (Ben Turner), and tells the story of a talking cow who attempts to hitchhike to Mumbai from her farm in Kentucky, with the help of her pet pigeon; then I spent a few months hibernating on the couches and spare beds of various friends and family members, writing, recording, and releasing an acoustic album on a broken computer called Modern Elephants, which combines stories from my travels in the US with sleep deprivation-induced hallucinations of elephants stampeding across the planet and eradicating all human life. Soon, I was back on the road, gigging in Europe and recording a new EP, Interdimensional Ice Cream Cake, to be released in the summer of 2019.

And, I started a Patreon, where anyone who wants to make monetary contributions to my existence and the production of future Cannonbalbums, tours, and other projects, while getting some fun rewards in return, can do so without even leaving their apartment! 2019 is already looking to be a year full of Cannonballistic creations, so get ready...

Hope everything’s been good with you!
Cannonball

********

“This all sounds cool and interesting, but what if I don’t want to become a patron of you? What if I don’t want to become a patron of anyone, except for my cat? His name is Edward, and I’m going to fill your email inbox with pictures of him so you know what a majestic being he is. Here’s a picture of him standing on top of my kitchen counter while I’m trying to cook. Do you like that? There’s more where that came from. Oh, there’s so much more. And right now, as I’m typing this, I have ten million dollars in my hand, and I’m going to spend it all on lottery tickets for Edward, so he can be a billionaire, and then he can purchase his very own McMansion and colonize the solar system.”


I will literally feed you to the elephants.

(I won’t actually feed you to the elephants)

Recent posts by Cannonball Statman

Tiers
Semi-Cannonballist!
$1 or more per month

You’re (almost) a Cannonballist, and we’re all very eager to welcome you into the cult of Cannonballism when you realize resisting your fate is inevitable.


Now you have:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for patrons!

Cannonballists!
$5 or more per month only 297 left

You’re a Cannonballist, and we’re all completely Cannonballistic to welcome you into the weird wide world of Cannonballism. 


Now you have:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for Cannonballists!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!

Barking Cannonballists!
$10 or more per month only 50 left

You’re a Cannonballist who barks, which means you’re probably a dog, so we’re even more Cannonballistic to welcome you into our secret society than we were when we assumed you were a mere human.


Now you have:

- twice a year, one Cannonballistic merchandise item (including, but not limited to: autographed CDs, lyric sheets, and T-shirts) delivered to your door!


AND:

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for Cannonballists!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!

Woof woof WOOF!!!
$20 or more per month only 50 left

You’re so dedicated to the cult of Cannonballism that 80% of your conversations and 90% of your dreams are in Doglish! Woof woof woof woof woof!!! Woof! WOOOOOOF!!!


Woof woof woof:

- your name listed in the “special thanks” section for all of Cannonball’s future releases! (this is limited to 50 devotees!!!)

- WOOOOOOOOOOF!!!!!!


WOOF:

- twice a year, one Cannonballistic merchandise item (including, but not limited to: autographed CDs, lyric sheets, and T-shirts) delivered to your door!

- access to a regularly-updated stream of new songs, videos, photos, stories, and more, made exclusively for the most completely dedicated devotees of Cannonballism!

- the ability to download and stream new Cannonbalbums, EPs, singles, and other releases an entire week (or even more than a week, depending on the release) before they’re available to the public!