Who Am I?
Hello! I’m Amy, also known as Coffee & Kink (CK for short.) I'm a sex writer, sex blogger and sex educator. I used to say that the person who writes at my site was an alter-ego, but I have come to realise that’s inaccurate. What you’ll read there is the truest reflection of me – my heart, my mind, my desires, what makes me angry and what makes me tick.
I’m a twenty-something, queer cis British girl. I define myself as femme-ish (it’s complicated,) polyamorous, an intersectional feminist and a submissive switch. I’m also a swinger-ish (also complicated,) mentally ill, a Gemini and an INFP if you care about either of these things, and a writer above all.
Why sex writing?Because I find sexuality endlessly fascinating and I think sex has the power to change the world. The sex education most of us receive is woefully lacking – if we get any at all – which means we have generations of grown adults who don’t understand their bodies and live under the weight of massive sexual shame.
I want people to talk openly about sex. I want accurate, pleasure-focused information for everyone, and I want informed, enthusiastic consent to become a minimum standard. Coffee & Kink is my small attempt at being the change I wish to see in the world.
Sex is literally the only topic I never run out of things to say about. For every article, review, rant or story I post, there are at least five more dancing around in my head. A year or so ago, my writing was getting some attention over on Fetlife, so I thought, hey, some people actually care what I have to say! I opened up a free WordPress account, and Coffee & Kink was born.
What I initially envisioned as a small side-project has become so much more. The blog, and my sex writing more generally, is now a brand, a business and a passion.
Everything I do is underpinned by an intersectional feminist ethos and a desire to further consent culture, in sex and in life.
Some of the things I do...
- I blog about sex.
- I write erotic fiction (the kind which centres enthusiastic consent and mutual pleasure.) I mostly write short vignettes but I'm now working on my first smutty novella.
- I blog about sex, typically around twice per week.
- I educate on sex, relationships, BDSM/kink, non-monogamy, feminism and consent.
- I organise charity events to raise funds for organisations which support survivors of violence, fight for sexual freedom and defend gender & sexual minorities and more. (In 2017 so far I've been behind 2 projects which altogether raised £1500 for Backlash and £950 for Rape Crisis.)
- I test and review sex toys.
- I read and review other people's erotic fiction.
- I help people new to sex/sex positivity/kink/non-monogamy etc. navigate their introduction and find their feet.
- I work to fight stigma against any kind of consensual adult sexual practices.
- I work to fight rape culture and promote a world where enthusiastic, freely given consent is treated as a minimum standard.
- I work to fight abuse in intimate relationships and support survivors.
- I strive to amplify the voices of women, LGBTQ+ folks, trans folks, and anyone else who is marginalised (particularly on gender/sexuality grounds.)
Why Do I Do This?
- Because I'm a Sex Geek. I find human sexuality endlessly fascinating and I am sure I will never stop learning.
- Because I believe that sex education, whether for young people or adults, is woefully lacking and we all need (and deserve!) access to accurate and shame-free information.
- Because I love beautifully written sex and believe erotic literature (and films and images and so on) should be valued as legitimate forms of art.
- Because I believe absolutely everyone who wants them should be able to have great sex and amazing relationships.
- Because I believe that accurate and informative sex writing is a huge tool in fighting sexual stigma, rape culture, and the marginalisation of certain genders/sexualities.
Why Should You Support Me?
- You'll get some shiny rewards and exclusive content! And also...
- I love doing this work, but there are only so many hours in the day and it is time consuming and tiring. Some financial reward helps me to keep going, avoid burnout, and dedicate more hours in my busy life towards this stuff.
- It will help me towards my eventual goal of going freelance as a writer/educator/etc, which means I can do more great things, create more lovely content for you folks, and hopefully change the world a little bit with sex positivity.
- Writing and other creative work is WORK. If you enjoy the things an artist creates, you should consider paying for it - even if only a tiny contribution, it all means so much to me!
- The blog is and always will be free. Your support will help to keep that viable and ensure I can continue to prioritise it.
- It will help me to pay for the things I need to work, from the hosting for my website to books to keep educating myself.
- A small pot of money to throw at it will mean I am able to pay occasional guest bloggers. This means 1) more content for you guys, including topics I could never cover by myself, and 2) more paid work for other sex writers.
- It will help cover my costs to go to sex-positive conferences and other events, meaning I can meet some of you in person and also learn some incredible things which I can bring back to you all through my writing.