Cory The Gardener

is creating a modern fable

Select a membership level


Limited (96 remaining)
reward item
reward item
per month

A single seed contains the mighty oak. 

limited tier - let's grow this thing. 

Baby Carrot

Limited (26 remaining)
reward item
reward item
per month

full memoir and blog access


Limited (10 remaining)
reward item
reward item
per month

first tier rewards as well as: 

-free show tix 

-1 piece of merch every run

-i'll make you look good if I see you out



About Cory The Gardener

Hey there!

Are ya warm enough?

Take a seat by the fire and let me bend your ear.

My name is Cory and I'm happy to welcome you to my garden.

I'm a reporter by trade, and I could have a career in advertising if I wanted.

I don't.

Advertising is about creating desire - a hole to be filled.

I want to create satisfaction. I want to fill holes.

With life. 

With sun-kissed sincerity, 
Cory The Gardener

Frequently Asked Questions

What is this?
I built this space to share my work. I want to canonize my trajectory; catalog all the failures on the path to success. I've always heard that "writers write."

Here's where my writing will be.  

What kind of writing is this?

With the memoir, I'm using fiction-writing elements to set scenes and capture snapshots of my life.

So, "creative nonfiction" is the genre. 

It's a dramatized portrait of my life designed to entertain and inspire.

Like Hunter. S Thompson meets Seinfeld but in 600-word bursts with a photo attached. Does that make sense? Do you want to see a sample ?

What do I get every month?

I've got no set schedule, for now, but I try to publish at least once a week.

Aren't you a little young to be writing a memoir?

I'm creating an auto-ethnography, an ongoing study of the culture I live in. I'm using myself as a touchpoint.

And my goal is to then collect the entries of this culture study into novella sized e-books and those will be the memoirs. But, yeah, I don't want to walk around spewing about my "auto-ethnography."

Yeah, but why you? 

Ok yeah you got me. Why me? I get it. You're a doubter. 

I doubt myself too.

How could I not? 

I received a suspension in middle school for organizing a general strike for less math homework. 

I got busted in high school for forging off-campus lunch passes.

They booted me from the birthright Israel for what I thought to be perfectly appropriate amphetamine use. 

I might've spent 36-some-odd days in a mental hospital in the spring of my freshman year of college. 

I didn't get another two years before someone tried to burn down my house! (pictured above)

So far this year I got caught with 5 lbs of jazz cabbage in my car after trying to give a Facebook friend and former neighbor a ride home after the Christmas holiday! I did two days in jail, made the front page of the local newspaper, and came back to Asheville to find my house cleared out by robbers.
Doesn't that feel like I'm telling you a plot to a story? That last paragraph is the subject of my first collected memoir, which I gave away at a free "Stories from Jail" show in January.

And since then? 

Surely there's no more tom-foolery, right? 


How about robbed while ON STAGE at a free show! 

Somebody, quick, write some of this shit down! I'm not going to be around too much longer! 

Seriously though, I have the worst luck - and though I expect the future tales to be a more disciplined, insightful look at a nice jewish boy (on probation for a crime he didn't know he was committing) behaving appropriately and succeeding in love and work...

So your life is just really fucked up so you're writing about it? 

Well I also used to run a newspaper. I studied journalism and anthropology in college before that. 

Writing and talking about the nature of existence and the issues of the day is what I do. 

So it's this or politics or insurance sales and we'll try this for now. 

How much does it cost?

I'm running a discount right now since we're in the "Early Adopter" phase. My basic access to the written content I'm offering for $3 a month. For the deluxe package which includes merchandise (as we release it) the price is $10 a month.

These prices will jump to $7 and $15 a month respectively. 

The higher tiers are essentially if you just want to pay me more.

What do you use the money for?

Saving money buys time! 

With more money I'll be able to work less, affording time for:

-a regular podcast
-a novel (released episodically)

If I start earning money to the point where I have a surplus after living expenses, I plan to hire more teammates to churn out projects bigger than what I can take on alone including:

-polished video
-bigger events

So can't I just wait till you die and then pay $3 and read everything?

Yikes! I mean sure though... That's smart. Love the hustle. 

I don't want to pay but I'm interested...

Fucking hell grandma. Here is a link to my email newsletter, I send info about when my shows are, and at some point I'll make an automation with the best of my content.

Whats the deal with gardening?

Gardening to me is the perfect reminder of our roots as human.

It's solid, earthy work that benefits us directly - we literally reap what we sow. It's easy to get disconnected from the value we make through our work, and to get so busy working we forget to be humans.

I originally got the name from an absurdist gardening series called "Cory The Gardener." A snake shaman named Hamish Horton made the whole thing and it might have ruined our friendship... 

But it is quality content... even if YouTube wasn't ready.


"It's refreshing to see someone stick to their guns about the value of their material. Just this entry is so important for artists to understand. It isn't about money, it's about the name and the work behind it. Cory one of the most genuinely kind people I have ever met and I'm extremely excited to get to know him better." -F. Diggman

“Your new journal post was really good. I literally look forward to reading your entries.
Idk why but... it's comforting." -S. Goodson

“Personal. Raw. Interesting I always wonder if I'm going to come up in a post and kind of relieved I've never seen myself there.” -D. Hyman

You're reading Thompson's Garden, a mixed-media memoir project from recovering journalist and comedian Cory A. Thompson.
8% complete
weekly podcast
1 of 1
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 70 exclusive posts
Audio release
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 70 exclusive posts
Audio release

Recent posts by Cory The Gardener

How it works

Get started in 2 minutes

Choose a membership
Sign up
Add a payment method
Get benefits