I'm an illustrator and animator who runs a modest business. The fact that you're here on this page gives me the warm fuzzies, and being an introvert I have no idea how to express that — except by drawing a mustache on a picture of your favourite idol.
Do you like stuff that I like? How about paintings of anime waifus on the the ceiling of Sistine Chapel? Okay, perhaps not literally, but since this is the internet where imagination can run around without pants on, so we might as well sing with its unbridled muse.
"What do you draw?"
A six-shooter at high-noon in case somebody has any funny ideas.
"What do you animate?"
"What is this and why should I care?"
I'll explain. I want to build an empire of art built entirely on free software. I know it's doable, because I've done it commercially before.
Even so, doodles are cheap. But good art? It's still a labour of love. Drawing takes me less than a day, painting sometimes more, small animations can take a week, large animations take my wallet, and a long-running comic-series takes time to believe whether or not it should be framed on a wall as a masterpiece or sent to a gulag for crimes against humanity.
With every penny that is dropped into my hat, I gain the confidence to strut across this landscape of creation with absolute impunity and do as I please. If you're in on the deal, you get exclusive access to my inner-most secrets at every step as I achieve world domination. All you have to do is think of it as an investment towards a front-row seat to witness breath-taking vistas such as Batman taking on the unbeatable Bugs Bunny. In a thumb-war.
"Okay, but what do I get in return?"
Like I said — my inner-most secrets, and front-row seats to all sorts of entertainment. Plus, every time I put something up on sale in the future, you get limited edition discount coupons (and sometimes, get stuff absolutely free). You get to decide which part of Idea-land is ours for the taking, whose next king will be the highest bidder (only 100% OC, guys). The more you pitch, the more you get to loot.
I will also affectionately call you John. Kapish?
In short, being a Patron gets you:
- Secret meetings with the (introverted) boss,
- Updates to what's being made and how,
- A voice in how this fine business is run and what gets made,
- The finest loot, high-res or vectored, free or discounted before anyone else.
Think about the offer, it ain't too shabby. Hope your wishes get fishes.
(Wait, wishes get fishes? Whoever wrote this crap needs to swim with the fishes.)