Dr. Bones is creating gonzo journalism and sorcerous wisdom
105

patrons

The duty of the press is to keep the people informed, even when the things they might learn lean towards the morbidly terrible and truly bizarre.

Shit has indeed gotten weird, and it doesn't take a Conjurer to see it. Internet trolls believe they've awakened an Egyptian chaos god, Russia has a new Rasputin, and a living meme currently holds the presidency. Political street battles are becoming common, Jesus is appearing in waffles, cops are executing black people for breathing, and an entire section of the population legitimately thinks capitalism can be destroyed by the ballot box or without building a few guillotines. Yes, the age we live in is weird, truly and horribly weird, a breakneck techno-hellscape where you'll either be killed by flying robots or eaten alive by cancer.

But when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I aim to cover the grandest story of any journalistic investigation: the epic tragedy that is the human condition and its unrelenting desire to be free. No assurances about the ending, no home office to report to if things get too tight, just 7.5 billion rabid apes armed to the teeth and spinning on a rock getting more filled with poisonous shit by the day. It's a story I tell through news reports, narratives, books, and essays. My tales are bitter truths and rousing calls for rebellion, narratives both mundane and soaked in sorcerous wisdom, shared freely at no cost as my gift to you.

But I need your help in telling them.

I decided long ago that I'd be a new breed of writer, a hoodoo-slingin' gonzo reporter with a personal vendetta against all he finds exploitative. I've done well so far and you, dear reader, are to thank for that, but I can't afford to do the amount of writing I'd like to working 40 hours a week. Your help will allow me to investigate more stories, write more books, and drunkenly trek to wherever the action may be, with the goal of eventually writing full time.

In return at every level you'll have access to my patron-exclusive "Afterthoughts," short videos dealing with concepts discussed in my articles I couldn't explain elsewhere as well as answers to any questions that might have come up along the way. I often have to leave 1,000-2,000 words on the cutting room floor; this is your chance to hear Bonesy wisdom free from editors and polite society.

The media has the power to shape real events by interpreting them, a power increasingly capable of mobilizing bodies: Breitbart is in the fucking White House, InfoWars is only growing, and right-wing hacks like Sargon of Akkad are rolling in cash. This is not the time to be silent.

If you want to inject an Anarchist opinion into the wider world do me a favor and help support my work.

If you don't, support me anyway. I'll at least make the extinction of everything very entertaining.
Tiers
Buy me a cup of Coffee!
$4.99 or more per month
Holy fuck coffee is getting expensive, especially when you cram it with as much espresso as I do. With your help I can stay wired for hours on end, thrashing out an essay or investigating a story you're sure to love.

For your help I'll give you the same access to my Patron-exclusive "Afterthoughts" and I'll send you a personalized postcard! When the CIA eventually assassinates me this will skyrocket in value!
Help keep me from starving to death!
$9.99 or more per month
In between rituals and benders a man's gotta eat. My wife is an amazing cook and can create wholesome, delicious meals for extremely low costs. You'll help keep me alive and take some of the stress of dealing with me off her back. (She thanks you)

In return, I'll give you access to all my Patron-only posts, a personalized postcard, and a playing card I've dressed and prayed over to help draw you luck. You'll be happy you have it during the next mass shooting!
Buy me some ammo!
$22.63 or more per month
Who doesn't love to shoot guns? Help me hone my skills on the range with the hope I can eventually keep swamp ape from nightly raiding my residence.

Help me at this level and enjoy all the other perks PLUS I'll have a skype chat with you for at least 40 mins(though I do tend to ramble so be prepared for it to go longer!)
Help me get healthcare and not die in my 30's!
$33.33 or more per month
Ha ha, does anybody else's side hurt all the time? Do you get a feeling like your joints are expanding or tissue is ripping? Because I honestly I have no fucking idea and I haven't seen a doctor in many, many years because I have no insurance. Help me and my wife BOTH live into our 80's! 

Send me $33.33 a month and by god, I won't only give you everything else, I'll send you a signed and personalized copy of my next book! And the one after that!
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
$50 or more per month
Seriously, at this level I might try to throw a death hex on someone for you. Is that what you want? IS IT? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Not only will you get the perks of every other package but I will CALL YOU on the FUCKING PHONE and work out whatever it is you might want. Seriously, I'm open to suggestions!

Besides, you know, not drinking. I mean, c'mon. Really?
The duty of the press is to keep the people informed, even when the things they might learn lean towards the morbidly terrible and truly bizarre.

Shit has indeed gotten weird, and it doesn't take a Conjurer to see it. Internet trolls believe they've awakened an Egyptian chaos god, Russia has a new Rasputin, and a living meme currently holds the presidency. Political street battles are becoming common, Jesus is appearing in waffles, cops are executing black people for breathing, and an entire section of the population legitimately thinks capitalism can be destroyed by the ballot box or without building a few guillotines. Yes, the age we live in is weird, truly and horribly weird, a breakneck techno-hellscape where you'll either be killed by flying robots or eaten alive by cancer.

But when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I aim to cover the grandest story of any journalistic investigation: the epic tragedy that is the human condition and its unrelenting desire to be free. No assurances about the ending, no home office to report to if things get too tight, just 7.5 billion rabid apes armed to the teeth and spinning on a rock getting more filled with poisonous shit by the day. It's a story I tell through news reports, narratives, books, and essays. My tales are bitter truths and rousing calls for rebellion, narratives both mundane and soaked in sorcerous wisdom, shared freely at no cost as my gift to you.

But I need your help in telling them.

I decided long ago that I'd be a new breed of writer, a hoodoo-slingin' gonzo reporter with a personal vendetta against all he finds exploitative. I've done well so far and you, dear reader, are to thank for that, but I can't afford to do the amount of writing I'd like to working 40 hours a week. Your help will allow me to investigate more stories, write more books, and drunkenly trek to wherever the action may be, with the goal of eventually writing full time.

In return at every level you'll have access to my patron-exclusive "Afterthoughts," short videos dealing with concepts discussed in my articles I couldn't explain elsewhere as well as answers to any questions that might have come up along the way. I often have to leave 1,000-2,000 words on the cutting room floor; this is your chance to hear Bonesy wisdom free from editors and polite society.

The media has the power to shape real events by interpreting them, a power increasingly capable of mobilizing bodies: Breitbart is in the fucking White House, InfoWars is only growing, and right-wing hacks like Sargon of Akkad are rolling in cash. This is not the time to be silent.

If you want to inject an Anarchist opinion into the wider world do me a favor and help support my work.

If you don't, support me anyway. I'll at least make the extinction of everything very entertaining.

Recent posts by Dr. Bones

Tiers
Buy me a cup of Coffee!
$4.99 or more per month
Holy fuck coffee is getting expensive, especially when you cram it with as much espresso as I do. With your help I can stay wired for hours on end, thrashing out an essay or investigating a story you're sure to love.

For your help I'll give you the same access to my Patron-exclusive "Afterthoughts" and I'll send you a personalized postcard! When the CIA eventually assassinates me this will skyrocket in value!
Help keep me from starving to death!
$9.99 or more per month
In between rituals and benders a man's gotta eat. My wife is an amazing cook and can create wholesome, delicious meals for extremely low costs. You'll help keep me alive and take some of the stress of dealing with me off her back. (She thanks you)

In return, I'll give you access to all my Patron-only posts, a personalized postcard, and a playing card I've dressed and prayed over to help draw you luck. You'll be happy you have it during the next mass shooting!
Buy me some ammo!
$22.63 or more per month
Who doesn't love to shoot guns? Help me hone my skills on the range with the hope I can eventually keep swamp ape from nightly raiding my residence.

Help me at this level and enjoy all the other perks PLUS I'll have a skype chat with you for at least 40 mins(though I do tend to ramble so be prepared for it to go longer!)
Help me get healthcare and not die in my 30's!
$33.33 or more per month
Ha ha, does anybody else's side hurt all the time? Do you get a feeling like your joints are expanding or tissue is ripping? Because I honestly I have no fucking idea and I haven't seen a doctor in many, many years because I have no insurance. Help me and my wife BOTH live into our 80's! 

Send me $33.33 a month and by god, I won't only give you everything else, I'll send you a signed and personalized copy of my next book! And the one after that!
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
$50 or more per month
Seriously, at this level I might try to throw a death hex on someone for you. Is that what you want? IS IT? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Not only will you get the perks of every other package but I will CALL YOU on the FUCKING PHONE and work out whatever it is you might want. Seriously, I'm open to suggestions!

Besides, you know, not drinking. I mean, c'mon. Really?