Ethicist For Hire

I have a philosophy phd, I've written a book, and I like to write, draw, and, in my spare time, I create commodities for fans of philosophy to fetishize. I also like to send sweet nothings into the ethereal realm known as Twitter.

Why Should You Become My Patron?
Apparently philosophy is not the high-paying gig that no one ever told me it was, so it's becoming harder and harder for me to be able to afford to carry on these extra-curricular activities.
One such activity that I need help with is turning this cartoon into the children's book that it demands to become.

So won't you help me turn philosophy into something productive, like a children's book, rather than something pointless, like another journal article?