Gray is creating the future that kinky liberals want.
34

patrons

$153
per month
“Graydancer is doing the work your mother warned you about.”
- Jewelweed, Comrade
That's one of the ways to describe the work I have been doing since 2003 in the kink and polyamory communities. I attended a well-meaning class called "Intro to Kink" which was not a bad class, exactly, but I had this feeling: We can do better. And that's what I've been working on ever since: trying to create the kind of communities I want to live in.

The thing is, as another friend put it, "You do a lot of stuff that is valued and makes really bad money." And she's right. This patreon is set up for people who would like to support my work on various projects in a more direct way.

What Kind of Work Do You Do, Gray? 


Podcasting: In 2005 I started podcasting about rope bondage, and gradually expanded the subject matter into the KinkSexCulture podcast. I've had hundreds of guests telling their own stories in their own words, including pioneers like Mollena Williams, Akira Naka, Darren Infinity, Midori, Jay Wiseman, Arisue Go, Maria Shadoes, Nawashi Kanna, Sir Dart, Nikki Nefarious, Pablo Greene, and more. I've covered major events like TES Fest, Dark Odyssey, Shibaricon, NARIX, Folsom St. Fair, and anywhere else I can get to.
Living in a city who had a small, but awesome, BDSM community, he became my portal to the world of rope bondage. He'd talk about the subjects I wanted to hear about and introduce ideas I never thought were possible. Through him, I could know that I wasn't alone in my knotty obsessions. - K., Podcast Listener

GRUEs: In 2007 I learned about "Open Space" events and wondered what it would look like applied to kink. That's how Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza (aka, the GRUE) was born, and since then it's been to six countries with over seventy events, including the giant RambleGRUE at a campground in Maryland with hundreds of kinksters sharing their passion. The GRUEs inspired many other open-space kink events, including Ropenspace, TES Open-Space Kink, NEEHU, and more. 

"I came away learning more cool stuff in that 9 hours than I did in 4 days at (a large event), and feeling more energized, largely because the format met my individual needs. And because all of the sessions were fairly small, I could ask a lot of questions, and learn what I wanted and needed to learn from the people who so generously gave their knowledge."
- CruelTease, GRUE Attendee

ROPECRAFT: In early 2016 Grand Master David approached me with an idea: What if we created the convention that we wanted to see in the world? Together with a fantastic staff of dedicated kinksters we created a convention that was hot and sexy and also progressive and forward-thinking. We have been in Austin, TX, New Orleans, LA, and Chicago, IL, and continue to grow the event into a place that supports the individual expression and enjoyment of all the kinksters who come.

Moving from class to class or from scene to scene, I watched connections being made or strengthened time and time again...I witnessed people new to each other do their best to connect through verbal and nonverbal negotiations. I listened as connections were defined differently or explained and translated. I had come hoping to learn more about rope...but left learning more about this lifestyle and myself.- Solomon Abrams, Photographer

CONSENT.ROCKS: Part of the first ROPECRAFT was putting into place a system I'd been imagining for years: a team of people whose sole function at the event was to help anyone involved in a consent incident feel supported, heard, and understood. With the help of three other consent geeks we created the framework that has become Consent.Rocks, a non-profit organization whose mission is to "improve the understanding of consent between and among adults in alternative communities." Consent Rocks Crews have helped dozens of people at large and small events get the resources they need when involved in a consent issue, and also worked to promote consent education and improved policies at all levels.

“[Consent Rocks] incident response outlines a radically new approach to defusing the explosive issues of conflict that plague conventions...”- Ferrett Steinmetz, Author

Great, But What's In It For the Patrons?


Becoming my patron means that you get to help make this happen - and more. I also do many other side projects such as writing erotic fiction and nonfiction, creating sketchnotes of various classes and other content. It's your support that will help me continue developing these projects and create more. You'll get a backstage pass as well, with behind-the-scenes updates as well as a voice in who I interview, the topics I cover, and the places I go. Some patrons even use me as their own investigative reporter. " Tell me the real story about this Chest-Loading Box Tie!" "How can I become a bondage presenter?" "How can I keep from burning out in the kink scene?" I've spent over a decade now investigating the kink world, and I will get you the information you want.

Tiers
The Pat on the Back
$1 or more per month 19 patrons
THANKS! While it might not seem much, just $1 a month helps keep me motivated. I will give you shout out on the podcast with thanks for your support! Plus you'll get sketchnotes and other goodies here on the Patreon Blog!
Consensual Coffee
$5 or more per month 20 patrons
SMUT! I've written essays and stories for several anthologies and magazines. This is about the cost of two cups of coffee, and as thanks I will be sending them out to my $5 patrons every month as a bonus "thank you" for supporting my work!
Video Club
$20 or more per month 3 patrons
Bonus Video! All the above plus access to the monthly "bonus video". This will be on topics such as "Stretching for Riggers", "the Neurochemistry of Rope", "How to Tie in Awkward Situations", "the Secret Steps for Negotiating from the Bottom" and more.
Talk to Me, Baby
$50 or more per month 0 patrons
VOICEOVER! If you're donating $50/month, you must really like the sound of my voice. How about you give me something to read for you? It can be an announcement, a story, whatever you'd like (up to thirty minutes). And yes, that's every month!
Be Our Guest
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
Join us for an episode!
  • Collaborate on an upcoming podcast
  • Plus all previous rewards
Goals
$153 of $500 per month
Money buys time! With this kind of support I could create a video every month and put it on Vimeo. I could also pay for transcriptions of each new podcast.
1 of 3
“Graydancer is doing the work your mother warned you about.”
- Jewelweed, Comrade
That's one of the ways to describe the work I have been doing since 2003 in the kink and polyamory communities. I attended a well-meaning class called "Intro to Kink" which was not a bad class, exactly, but I had this feeling: We can do better. And that's what I've been working on ever since: trying to create the kind of communities I want to live in.

The thing is, as another friend put it, "You do a lot of stuff that is valued and makes really bad money." And she's right. This patreon is set up for people who would like to support my work on various projects in a more direct way.

What Kind of Work Do You Do, Gray? 


Podcasting: In 2005 I started podcasting about rope bondage, and gradually expanded the subject matter into the KinkSexCulture podcast. I've had hundreds of guests telling their own stories in their own words, including pioneers like Mollena Williams, Akira Naka, Darren Infinity, Midori, Jay Wiseman, Arisue Go, Maria Shadoes, Nawashi Kanna, Sir Dart, Nikki Nefarious, Pablo Greene, and more. I've covered major events like TES Fest, Dark Odyssey, Shibaricon, NARIX, Folsom St. Fair, and anywhere else I can get to.
Living in a city who had a small, but awesome, BDSM community, he became my portal to the world of rope bondage. He'd talk about the subjects I wanted to hear about and introduce ideas I never thought were possible. Through him, I could know that I wasn't alone in my knotty obsessions. - K., Podcast Listener

GRUEs: In 2007 I learned about "Open Space" events and wondered what it would look like applied to kink. That's how Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza (aka, the GRUE) was born, and since then it's been to six countries with over seventy events, including the giant RambleGRUE at a campground in Maryland with hundreds of kinksters sharing their passion. The GRUEs inspired many other open-space kink events, including Ropenspace, TES Open-Space Kink, NEEHU, and more. 

"I came away learning more cool stuff in that 9 hours than I did in 4 days at (a large event), and feeling more energized, largely because the format met my individual needs. And because all of the sessions were fairly small, I could ask a lot of questions, and learn what I wanted and needed to learn from the people who so generously gave their knowledge."
- CruelTease, GRUE Attendee

ROPECRAFT: In early 2016 Grand Master David approached me with an idea: What if we created the convention that we wanted to see in the world? Together with a fantastic staff of dedicated kinksters we created a convention that was hot and sexy and also progressive and forward-thinking. We have been in Austin, TX, New Orleans, LA, and Chicago, IL, and continue to grow the event into a place that supports the individual expression and enjoyment of all the kinksters who come.

Moving from class to class or from scene to scene, I watched connections being made or strengthened time and time again...I witnessed people new to each other do their best to connect through verbal and nonverbal negotiations. I listened as connections were defined differently or explained and translated. I had come hoping to learn more about rope...but left learning more about this lifestyle and myself.- Solomon Abrams, Photographer

CONSENT.ROCKS: Part of the first ROPECRAFT was putting into place a system I'd been imagining for years: a team of people whose sole function at the event was to help anyone involved in a consent incident feel supported, heard, and understood. With the help of three other consent geeks we created the framework that has become Consent.Rocks, a non-profit organization whose mission is to "improve the understanding of consent between and among adults in alternative communities." Consent Rocks Crews have helped dozens of people at large and small events get the resources they need when involved in a consent issue, and also worked to promote consent education and improved policies at all levels.

“[Consent Rocks] incident response outlines a radically new approach to defusing the explosive issues of conflict that plague conventions...”- Ferrett Steinmetz, Author

Great, But What's In It For the Patrons?


Becoming my patron means that you get to help make this happen - and more. I also do many other side projects such as writing erotic fiction and nonfiction, creating sketchnotes of various classes and other content. It's your support that will help me continue developing these projects and create more. You'll get a backstage pass as well, with behind-the-scenes updates as well as a voice in who I interview, the topics I cover, and the places I go. Some patrons even use me as their own investigative reporter. " Tell me the real story about this Chest-Loading Box Tie!" "How can I become a bondage presenter?" "How can I keep from burning out in the kink scene?" I've spent over a decade now investigating the kink world, and I will get you the information you want.

Recent posts by Gray

Tiers
The Pat on the Back
$1 or more per month 19 patrons
THANKS! While it might not seem much, just $1 a month helps keep me motivated. I will give you shout out on the podcast with thanks for your support! Plus you'll get sketchnotes and other goodies here on the Patreon Blog!
Consensual Coffee
$5 or more per month 20 patrons
SMUT! I've written essays and stories for several anthologies and magazines. This is about the cost of two cups of coffee, and as thanks I will be sending them out to my $5 patrons every month as a bonus "thank you" for supporting my work!
Video Club
$20 or more per month 3 patrons
Bonus Video! All the above plus access to the monthly "bonus video". This will be on topics such as "Stretching for Riggers", "the Neurochemistry of Rope", "How to Tie in Awkward Situations", "the Secret Steps for Negotiating from the Bottom" and more.
Talk to Me, Baby
$50 or more per month 0 patrons
VOICEOVER! If you're donating $50/month, you must really like the sound of my voice. How about you give me something to read for you? It can be an announcement, a story, whatever you'd like (up to thirty minutes). And yes, that's every month!
Be Our Guest
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
Join us for an episode!
  • Collaborate on an upcoming podcast
  • Plus all previous rewards