Ian Belknap

is creating Essays, Satire, Stories

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About Ian Belknap

I am a writer and performer of some skill and long experience. I have created the solo shows Wide Open Beaver Shot of My Heart: A Comedy With a Body Count; Bring Me the Head of James Franco, That I May Prepare a Savory Goulash in the Narrow and Misshapen Pot of His Skull; Uncle Dad Is Ripshit, You Guys; and Terminal Ferocity. I am founder of WRITE CLUB, world's greatest competitive reading series (named "Best Literary Event" by the Chicago Reader, "Best Reading Series" by Chicago Magazine and Time Out Chicago, and "Top Five of Everything" by New City Chicago. The show has chapters in Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Denver, with more on the way.

I'm in my first year of an MFA at Bennington College.

I am contributor to and co-editor of Bare-Knuckled Lit: The Best of WRITE CLUB (Hope & Nonthings, 2014). I am a columnist at StoryNews, an online journal showcasing the intersection of personal stories and events in the news.

My essays, criticism, opinion, and satire have appeared in The Chicago ReaderThe Chicago TribuneCrain's Chicago BusinessThe RumpusSlackjaw, The Hit Job, Bullshitist, Untoward, Arts + Marketing, and other places. I post on Medium a lot, sometimes it is funny, as HERE, sometimes gut-wrenchy, as HERE, and sometimes cultural critique-y, as HERE.

Back when I did standup, I opened for Steven Wright (fucking disaster) and Dennis Miller (killed it.)

Back when I was an actor, my highest-profile gig as a sneeze-and-you'll-miss-me role in HIgh Fidelity (I carry that picture, if I'm being honest), but I also had roles on the shitty TV programs Prison Break, Early Edition, Leverage, and What About Joan? 

Point of all this humblebrag nonsense is this: it is possible to have done a great deal of stuff, and STILL have to clock in at some B2B marketing job to make ends meet. If you are  better, more stable person than I am, you can maybe do that without wanting to vomit magma and shit battery acid. But I cannot. For I am me. And the slurry of Inability to Compromise and Barely Treated Mental Illness that's sloshing around in my skull preclude this possibility. This line? This is an easter egg. If you have discovered it, message me and I will send you a card. I have not had an alcoholic beverage since 1994. I have not had a cigarette since 2000, but like Sinatra, if I live to be 70, I WILL start again. I have a long-suffering wife and two sons. We have two dogs that I love a lot, and a fucking cat that I cannot stand.

I am trying, as we all goddamn are, aiming to hit upon some means by which I may unleash my many ideas and generate a little scratch. Hope you can understand/don't disagree/don't begrudge. Many thanks.
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$237.23 of $250 per month
When I reach $250 per month, I'll begin work on Part 3 of my Manifesto. And no, I'm not kidding. Here is Part 1, and here is Part 2.
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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 14 exclusive posts
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10
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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 14 exclusive posts
2
Images
2
Links
10
Writings

Recent posts by Ian Belknap

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