Jane Waterman

Jane Waterman

is creating writing & more to heal chronic illness in a strange world.

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Jane Waterman - Chronic illness veteran, writer, artist, chair yoga teacher. Seeking peace and healing in a strange and sometimes beautiful world.

Welcome, Dear One,

I've never felt at ease navigating this strange and crazy world. My life up until now has felt like a sequence of incidents, accidents and strange personae. I've been here, all along, recording what happened, yet it often feels like my life happened to someone else. I've never quite understood me, and that might be true for many who've known me. 

The best way to know me is to read my work. I've spent most of my life feeling different. Writing is how I connect with it and make sense of it. Why do I want to share it? I want other people like me to know you're not alone.

I started my journey with clinical depression some 31 years ago when I (naively) took a pill from a doctor and thought it would do only what he said it would. I spent most of the following years fighting, failing, accepting, bargaining, and grieving a life shared with depression, anxiety, and chronic invisible illness and pain. The diagnosis used to be important to me. It's not so much anymore, but I write about specifics when it's relevant.

I've written fiction, semi-fiction, and poetry on and off since 1980 in notebooks, on computers, and in my head. My fiction and semi-autobiographical writing are concerned with themes of both physical and mental illness, isolation, dissociation, love, resilience, and loss. I write in genres of literary fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and futurism.

I've written about chronic illness and depression since 2012, mostly on the blog Blackbird at Night.

I've taught chair yoga since late 2016 to people of all ages with both visible and invisible health challenges. 

In 2017, after years of blogging about my experiences, creating art, writing and imagining stories, and filming yoga videos, I stopped. I fell silent. Part of it was a worsening of my autoimmune challenges, which meant I had no energy to share anything. Part of it was fear about talking about "it." "It" being my feeling of difference and vulnerability dealing with things only I could see. I was sure I was crazy, and that meant carefully hiding that craziness, especially in a world where I shared yoga teachings with others. The few times I tried to be real reminded me painfully why I should just keep it all to myself.

The problem with silence is it exacts an invisible toll on your body. The trauma of holding back every pain, every emotion, and every doubt about your experiences comes at a huge cost. The past two years have seen my life as a chair yoga teacher come crashing down due to a huge flare of my symptoms, and new challenges, including asthma and constant respiratory issues. It's as though the weight of holding back all my feelings and stories - the grief, the loss, the anger - is crushing the breath out of me.

Resilience and determination is not enough to transcend chronic illness and pain. Inside me, still lives the 24-year-old who suffered pain and trauma through the actions of unfeeling doctors, and those trusted loved ones who couldn't understand - the youth who still blames herself for being somehow defective. The one who has to recover from this decades-long assault on her integrity and life.

Twenty-nine years after becoming chronically ill, I still hold a little hope for an answer or cure, but I'm also learning to live with not knowing. Despite exploring many different kinds of conventional therapies, complementary therapies, and spiritual paths, my health remains extremely compromised. I struggle to live my identity as more challenges restrict the life I want to lead — as a writer, artist, and yoga teacher — sharing my experiences to help others.

My journey back to health lies through the creative gifts I've shelved for too long. I know that the way to link the healing modalities I've been gathering with the life I want to lead is through untangling the years of pain, depression, anxiety, isolation, and fear that was my world for so many years.

I have to write. I have to share the struggles. The beauty of language, of stories, of art is in creating a bridge and connection with others who understand. You meet the kind eyes, the soft heart, the sad smile, and the bow of recognition that says: "I see you. You are not invisible. Your struggles are not invisible."

How you can help bring these experiences to the world.

Your patronage allows me dedicated time to work on my writing, art, and the teachings I wish to share. It helps me publish blogs about the experience of chronic invisible illness and pain. It helps me share the tools that have helped me, as well as this final journey towards acceptance of the Dear One in me that was never believed. It helps me share my stories of difference, alienation, love, and transcendence.

My wish is that my creations will help you to understand you are not alone in this strange world. Together we can create a community where we belong.

With love,
Jane
Tiers
Visible Community
$1 or more per month

This tier will give you access to my personal journal on my patron-only feed. My journal will include what is going on in my life with chronic invisible illness and pain, my progress with alternative and creative healing modalities (including writing, art, and adaptive yoga), and occasional photos of beautiful things that inspire me.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

It's Okay to Talk About It
$5 or more per month

This tier will give you access to written drafts of my work in progress, including early-access and patron-only blog posts on chronic illness, including autoimmune disease, depression, anxiety on the Blackbird at Night blog; and adaptive yoga on the Jane's Chair Yoga Blog,  as well as all rewards from lower tiers.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

Create Your Healing Toolkit
$10 or more per month

This tier will give you access to excerpts from works in progress including a book on living with, accepting, and healing chronic invisible illness, depression, and anxiety; and patron-only guides to healing tools including writing, digital art, cognitive behavioural therapy, and adaptive yoga, as well as all rewards from lower tiers.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

The Story of Our Lives
$15 or more per month

This tier will give you access to written drafts of my work including excerpts from novels, short stories, and semi-autobiographical works, and poetry, as well as all rewards from lower tiers. My fiction and semi-autobiographical writing is concerned with themes of both physical and mental illness, isolation, dissociation, resilience, and loss. I write in genres of literary fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and futurism.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

Breaking the Silence
$20 or more per month

This tier will give you access to mp3 downloads of the author (me!) reading from drafts of my work in progress, and downloads of selected works, as well as all rewards from lower tiers. This tier is guaranteed to be awesome when my income rises and stays above $2,000 per month!


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

Goals
$0 of $1,000 per month
When I reach $1,000 per month, I will have the minimum financial support needed for regular writing and creating time each week. I can see my naturopath when I need to and have the basic resources to support my health. Thank you for your patronage!
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Jane Waterman - Chronic illness veteran, writer, artist, chair yoga teacher. Seeking peace and healing in a strange and sometimes beautiful world.

Welcome, Dear One,

I've never felt at ease navigating this strange and crazy world. My life up until now has felt like a sequence of incidents, accidents and strange personae. I've been here, all along, recording what happened, yet it often feels like my life happened to someone else. I've never quite understood me, and that might be true for many who've known me. 

The best way to know me is to read my work. I've spent most of my life feeling different. Writing is how I connect with it and make sense of it. Why do I want to share it? I want other people like me to know you're not alone.

I started my journey with clinical depression some 31 years ago when I (naively) took a pill from a doctor and thought it would do only what he said it would. I spent most of the following years fighting, failing, accepting, bargaining, and grieving a life shared with depression, anxiety, and chronic invisible illness and pain. The diagnosis used to be important to me. It's not so much anymore, but I write about specifics when it's relevant.

I've written fiction, semi-fiction, and poetry on and off since 1980 in notebooks, on computers, and in my head. My fiction and semi-autobiographical writing are concerned with themes of both physical and mental illness, isolation, dissociation, love, resilience, and loss. I write in genres of literary fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and futurism.

I've written about chronic illness and depression since 2012, mostly on the blog Blackbird at Night.

I've taught chair yoga since late 2016 to people of all ages with both visible and invisible health challenges. 

In 2017, after years of blogging about my experiences, creating art, writing and imagining stories, and filming yoga videos, I stopped. I fell silent. Part of it was a worsening of my autoimmune challenges, which meant I had no energy to share anything. Part of it was fear about talking about "it." "It" being my feeling of difference and vulnerability dealing with things only I could see. I was sure I was crazy, and that meant carefully hiding that craziness, especially in a world where I shared yoga teachings with others. The few times I tried to be real reminded me painfully why I should just keep it all to myself.

The problem with silence is it exacts an invisible toll on your body. The trauma of holding back every pain, every emotion, and every doubt about your experiences comes at a huge cost. The past two years have seen my life as a chair yoga teacher come crashing down due to a huge flare of my symptoms, and new challenges, including asthma and constant respiratory issues. It's as though the weight of holding back all my feelings and stories - the grief, the loss, the anger - is crushing the breath out of me.

Resilience and determination is not enough to transcend chronic illness and pain. Inside me, still lives the 24-year-old who suffered pain and trauma through the actions of unfeeling doctors, and those trusted loved ones who couldn't understand - the youth who still blames herself for being somehow defective. The one who has to recover from this decades-long assault on her integrity and life.

Twenty-nine years after becoming chronically ill, I still hold a little hope for an answer or cure, but I'm also learning to live with not knowing. Despite exploring many different kinds of conventional therapies, complementary therapies, and spiritual paths, my health remains extremely compromised. I struggle to live my identity as more challenges restrict the life I want to lead — as a writer, artist, and yoga teacher — sharing my experiences to help others.

My journey back to health lies through the creative gifts I've shelved for too long. I know that the way to link the healing modalities I've been gathering with the life I want to lead is through untangling the years of pain, depression, anxiety, isolation, and fear that was my world for so many years.

I have to write. I have to share the struggles. The beauty of language, of stories, of art is in creating a bridge and connection with others who understand. You meet the kind eyes, the soft heart, the sad smile, and the bow of recognition that says: "I see you. You are not invisible. Your struggles are not invisible."

How you can help bring these experiences to the world.

Your patronage allows me dedicated time to work on my writing, art, and the teachings I wish to share. It helps me publish blogs about the experience of chronic invisible illness and pain. It helps me share the tools that have helped me, as well as this final journey towards acceptance of the Dear One in me that was never believed. It helps me share my stories of difference, alienation, love, and transcendence.

My wish is that my creations will help you to understand you are not alone in this strange world. Together we can create a community where we belong.

With love,
Jane

Recent posts by Jane Waterman

Tiers
Visible Community
$1 or more per month

This tier will give you access to my personal journal on my patron-only feed. My journal will include what is going on in my life with chronic invisible illness and pain, my progress with alternative and creative healing modalities (including writing, art, and adaptive yoga), and occasional photos of beautiful things that inspire me.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

It's Okay to Talk About It
$5 or more per month

This tier will give you access to written drafts of my work in progress, including early-access and patron-only blog posts on chronic illness, including autoimmune disease, depression, anxiety on the Blackbird at Night blog; and adaptive yoga on the Jane's Chair Yoga Blog,  as well as all rewards from lower tiers.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

Create Your Healing Toolkit
$10 or more per month

This tier will give you access to excerpts from works in progress including a book on living with, accepting, and healing chronic invisible illness, depression, and anxiety; and patron-only guides to healing tools including writing, digital art, cognitive behavioural therapy, and adaptive yoga, as well as all rewards from lower tiers.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

The Story of Our Lives
$15 or more per month

This tier will give you access to written drafts of my work including excerpts from novels, short stories, and semi-autobiographical works, and poetry, as well as all rewards from lower tiers. My fiction and semi-autobiographical writing is concerned with themes of both physical and mental illness, isolation, dissociation, resilience, and loss. I write in genres of literary fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and futurism.


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.

Breaking the Silence
$20 or more per month

This tier will give you access to mp3 downloads of the author (me!) reading from drafts of my work in progress, and downloads of selected works, as well as all rewards from lower tiers. This tier is guaranteed to be awesome when my income rises and stays above $2,000 per month!


With all my love and gratitude — Jane.