Jon Graham is creating videos, podcasts, music, games
238

patrons

$1,592
per month
You should pledge to me because I'm the best filmmaker who's ever existed.

I hardly even do it with a crew, that's how good I am. My scripts are flawless in literally every way. I do everything myself, because nobody can do a better job at anything than me. Even when I started, my content was perfect. There were criticisms, but they were all wrong.

The fastest way to go up in this business is believe whole-heartedly that everybody is a moron except for you, and I knew that already. I have a degree now. Anyone who doesn't have at least a degree is the scum of the earth and should be beheaded.

It should be done publicly on one of YouTube's LA stages, one after another. I know I'm just in the gate, but you can close it now. Fuck the rest of them, they had their chance.

I'd be spitting on them through the gate for taking that one semester off to see the world and constantly Instagram their food instead of dedicating their time to the wonderful and intoxicating system of education, where it belongs.

I am one of the glorious master race of university graduates; tall, muscular -- leg day certainly wasn't skipped -- bronzed skin slightly glazed with sweat and oil, and long, luxurious manes of blonde, perfect hair, flipping around as we mate with equally immaculate female specimens, degrees in hand, and produce offspring that will pave the way forward to interplanetary colonization.

Everyone without degrees will be left on Earth. Rather than finance destroying the planet, we'll simply leave the dead weight to die. None of them will have a clue what to do because they're all retarded. Governments and economies would come to a grinding halt, and they'd all run off into their houses, starve, beat off, shit their pants and die.

I am the way forward. Through the power of cinema, I will show you all the way. If you don't pledge anything for my sake, please do so for that of all the talented Hollywood filmmakers out there who will learn so much from viewing my quite literally flawless content, and may finally learn to build the tools they need to finally tap into their true potential as a direct result.

Here's the deal -- if I don't get $600,000 by the end of the month, a bunch of guys from a crowd I shouldn't have got mixed up with are saying they're gonna break my legs. Let's leave it at that -- don't worry about it.

I won't be satisfied until I'm getting paid a hundred million dollars to sit in my director's chair with a latte in a small, green box every day, shouting angrily at my actor to deliver his lines to the appropriate blinking LED.

I don't want to sound like a dick, but I think I might actually be the greatest human being who ever lived.
Rewards
Arby Episode Screenplays
$1 or more per month 25 patrons
Download links to a collection of .PDF screenplays for old episodes of the show and ones for new episodes as they're released.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
Bonus Podcast Episodes
$2 or more per month 73 patrons
Links to bonus episodes of the See Me After Class podcast for backers only.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
$3 or more per month 26 patrons
Links to full-length Q&A and gaming streams for backers only.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
Arby Episode Commentaries
$5 or more per month 65 patrons
Access to the live stream of my director's commentary on new episodes and past seasons of Arby 'n' the Chief, as well as links to previous commentary streams.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
Music Track Downloads
$10 or more per month 11 patrons
Download the music tracks created for scoring Arby 'n' the Chief.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
Production Tutorial Streams
$15 or more per month 2 patrons
Links to streams in which I walk viewers step-by-step through my production process within various phases of video creation (shooting gameplay and live action, music creation, etc.)

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
  • Production Tutorial Streams
On-Screen Producer Credit
$20 or more per month 60 patrons
Get your chosen title displayed in the end credits of new episodes of Arby 'n' the Chief and the podcast as they're released.


Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
  • Production Tutorial Streams
  • On-Screen Producer Credit
Goals
$1,592 of $2,000 per month
If this amount is pledged my living expenses can be covered and I can dedicate myself to the show full-time.
1 of 2
You should pledge to me because I'm the best filmmaker who's ever existed.

I hardly even do it with a crew, that's how good I am. My scripts are flawless in literally every way. I do everything myself, because nobody can do a better job at anything than me. Even when I started, my content was perfect. There were criticisms, but they were all wrong.

The fastest way to go up in this business is believe whole-heartedly that everybody is a moron except for you, and I knew that already. I have a degree now. Anyone who doesn't have at least a degree is the scum of the earth and should be beheaded.

It should be done publicly on one of YouTube's LA stages, one after another. I know I'm just in the gate, but you can close it now. Fuck the rest of them, they had their chance.

I'd be spitting on them through the gate for taking that one semester off to see the world and constantly Instagram their food instead of dedicating their time to the wonderful and intoxicating system of education, where it belongs.

I am one of the glorious master race of university graduates; tall, muscular -- leg day certainly wasn't skipped -- bronzed skin slightly glazed with sweat and oil, and long, luxurious manes of blonde, perfect hair, flipping around as we mate with equally immaculate female specimens, degrees in hand, and produce offspring that will pave the way forward to interplanetary colonization.

Everyone without degrees will be left on Earth. Rather than finance destroying the planet, we'll simply leave the dead weight to die. None of them will have a clue what to do because they're all retarded. Governments and economies would come to a grinding halt, and they'd all run off into their houses, starve, beat off, shit their pants and die.

I am the way forward. Through the power of cinema, I will show you all the way. If you don't pledge anything for my sake, please do so for that of all the talented Hollywood filmmakers out there who will learn so much from viewing my quite literally flawless content, and may finally learn to build the tools they need to finally tap into their true potential as a direct result.

Here's the deal -- if I don't get $600,000 by the end of the month, a bunch of guys from a crowd I shouldn't have got mixed up with are saying they're gonna break my legs. Let's leave it at that -- don't worry about it.

I won't be satisfied until I'm getting paid a hundred million dollars to sit in my director's chair with a latte in a small, green box every day, shouting angrily at my actor to deliver his lines to the appropriate blinking LED.

I don't want to sound like a dick, but I think I might actually be the greatest human being who ever lived.

Recent posts by Jon Graham

Rewards
Arby Episode Screenplays
$1 or more per month 25 patrons
Download links to a collection of .PDF screenplays for old episodes of the show and ones for new episodes as they're released.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
Bonus Podcast Episodes
$2 or more per month 73 patrons
Links to bonus episodes of the See Me After Class podcast for backers only.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
$3 or more per month 26 patrons
Links to full-length Q&A and gaming streams for backers only.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
Arby Episode Commentaries
$5 or more per month 65 patrons
Access to the live stream of my director's commentary on new episodes and past seasons of Arby 'n' the Chief, as well as links to previous commentary streams.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
Music Track Downloads
$10 or more per month 11 patrons
Download the music tracks created for scoring Arby 'n' the Chief.

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
Production Tutorial Streams
$15 or more per month 2 patrons
Links to streams in which I walk viewers step-by-step through my production process within various phases of video creation (shooting gameplay and live action, music creation, etc.)

Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
  • Production Tutorial Streams
On-Screen Producer Credit
$20 or more per month 60 patrons
Get your chosen title displayed in the end credits of new episodes of Arby 'n' the Chief and the podcast as they're released.


Includes
  • Arby Episode Screenplays
  • Bonus Podcast Episodes
  • Full Q&A/Gaming Streams
  • Arby Episode Commentaries
  • Music Track Downloads
  • Production Tutorial Streams
  • On-Screen Producer Credit