Jillian Maywhether is creating games about pain (and other enthralling topics)
6
patrons
$52
per Game
Imagine taking all of the feelings you hold back, the ones that make you want to kick and scream and laugh and cry and lock yourself in a dark box and never come out, all the prayers you won't let yourself pray, and rolling them into a ball. Imagine lobbing those feelings and prayers aimlessly at the world, hoping someone might be struck by them, and in turn stuck with them.

Making games is like that for me. It's hard; painstakingly so.

And so is needing help. I can’t do this anymore without you.

Last year I made my first game, STEALTH, a sad story about a girl who got everything she ever wanted. I almost didn’t finish it, because I was scared that it was a story no one wanted to hear. It took a lot of encouragement, but when I released it I was completely overwhelmed by how many people found it meaningful and powerful. It emboldened me to participate in my first game jam, where I made Cybernetic Ghost Symphony, a video game peculiarity about finding connection. I want to make more games revolving around intimacy, because I think there’s a lot there to explore.

I want to build brave spaces in my games, where players are asked to be vulnerable, to feel things that are not always safe. I will not shy away from pain in my games, but I will never ask you to go somewhere that I'm not going with you, and I will always be mindful to create in a way that is responsible and accountable to the impact my words may have.

I want to create more
. I want to show you more of the dark places that we share, but don't yet know it. I want to make more games that are representative of trans girls/women, that show the world we are human and that we love/yearn/fuck/bleed like humans do; more importantly, I want to make games that will be found by the trans girls/women that need to find them, to have something, anything that reflects their pain back at them in a beautiful way, to give them a way to process that pain in a world that refuses to give them that space.

I want to create better
. I want to have more time to work on composing music and making art for my games. I've dabbled in pixel art in the past, but haven't had the time to really commit. I'm also suddenly finding composing music (something I've always wanted to do but found inaccessible) is something I'm pretty good at, if a bit rough around the edges.

The only thing I ever want to ask of players is their openness. I never planned to be paid for making cool things, but I can't make anything if I'm dealing with insecurities about housing, tuition, food, etc.

And so, this Patreon is me being vulnerable with you. Asking you to value my work enough to use your limited resources to support it is the scariest thing I've done so far in my creative life.

But I must ask... Will you take my hand and be vulnerable with me?
Tiers
Pledge $1 or more per Game
Friends!
For $1 a month, you will be directly enabling my mission to make the world feel some kind of way about video games! You're so lovely that I'm going to let you in on all the secret patron-only stuff I'll be releasing regularly! It might be information about a big project I'm working on! It might even be stuff from unreleased projects, like music, art, or writing! It could be little morsels of prose that I thought were cool enough to share with you, maybe even poetry! Who knows? You will, you lucky darlings!
Pledge $3 or more per Game
Sleepy Time Friends!
For $3 a month, you'll get exclusive lullabies every month! I will wrap you in my e-arms and lull you to sleep with my gentle croonings. These lullabies will be sung with my very own mouth and will maybe sometimes have musical accompaniment!
Pledge $5 or more per Game
Inner Circle Friends!
For $5 a month, you'll get access to all the previous tiers, as well as the chance to give me input on which projects I should work on next! At the end of each project, I'll send you the link to a poll to decide what my next game will be! To keep things fun, I might not always be completely explicit about what the project is; you might have a concept paragraph, or you might have a picture, or a snippet of dialogue. It's gonna be super neat!
Pledge $12 or more per Game
only 11 left
The Twine of your Life
For $12 a month, you'll get access to all previous tiers, and I will make a personal Twine game about you! Through an arcane process (I will ask you questions) and a series of complex algorithms, I will know everything I need to make a special Twine game specifically for you. It's all extremely scientific. Share it with your friends! Share it with no one! Add it to your Twine hoard! It's yours forever!
Goals
$52 of $600 per Game
At this level, you will be keeping a roof over my head and food in my pantry. This means I will be able to devote a large amount of my time to writing and music-ing and arting, so I will be able to launch paper ships made out of feels into the world way more often. Basically ya'll get more stuff!
1 of 3
Imagine taking all of the feelings you hold back, the ones that make you want to kick and scream and laugh and cry and lock yourself in a dark box and never come out, all the prayers you won't let yourself pray, and rolling them into a ball. Imagine lobbing those feelings and prayers aimlessly at the world, hoping someone might be struck by them, and in turn stuck with them.

Making games is like that for me. It's hard; painstakingly so.

And so is needing help. I can’t do this anymore without you.

Last year I made my first game, STEALTH, a sad story about a girl who got everything she ever wanted. I almost didn’t finish it, because I was scared that it was a story no one wanted to hear. It took a lot of encouragement, but when I released it I was completely overwhelmed by how many people found it meaningful and powerful. It emboldened me to participate in my first game jam, where I made Cybernetic Ghost Symphony, a video game peculiarity about finding connection. I want to make more games revolving around intimacy, because I think there’s a lot there to explore.

I want to build brave spaces in my games, where players are asked to be vulnerable, to feel things that are not always safe. I will not shy away from pain in my games, but I will never ask you to go somewhere that I'm not going with you, and I will always be mindful to create in a way that is responsible and accountable to the impact my words may have.

I want to create more
. I want to show you more of the dark places that we share, but don't yet know it. I want to make more games that are representative of trans girls/women, that show the world we are human and that we love/yearn/fuck/bleed like humans do; more importantly, I want to make games that will be found by the trans girls/women that need to find them, to have something, anything that reflects their pain back at them in a beautiful way, to give them a way to process that pain in a world that refuses to give them that space.

I want to create better
. I want to have more time to work on composing music and making art for my games. I've dabbled in pixel art in the past, but haven't had the time to really commit. I'm also suddenly finding composing music (something I've always wanted to do but found inaccessible) is something I'm pretty good at, if a bit rough around the edges.

The only thing I ever want to ask of players is their openness. I never planned to be paid for making cool things, but I can't make anything if I'm dealing with insecurities about housing, tuition, food, etc.

And so, this Patreon is me being vulnerable with you. Asking you to value my work enough to use your limited resources to support it is the scariest thing I've done so far in my creative life.

But I must ask... Will you take my hand and be vulnerable with me?

Recent posts by Jillian Maywhether

Tiers
Pledge $1 or more per Game
Friends!
For $1 a month, you will be directly enabling my mission to make the world feel some kind of way about video games! You're so lovely that I'm going to let you in on all the secret patron-only stuff I'll be releasing regularly! It might be information about a big project I'm working on! It might even be stuff from unreleased projects, like music, art, or writing! It could be little morsels of prose that I thought were cool enough to share with you, maybe even poetry! Who knows? You will, you lucky darlings!
Pledge $3 or more per Game
Sleepy Time Friends!
For $3 a month, you'll get exclusive lullabies every month! I will wrap you in my e-arms and lull you to sleep with my gentle croonings. These lullabies will be sung with my very own mouth and will maybe sometimes have musical accompaniment!
Pledge $5 or more per Game
Inner Circle Friends!
For $5 a month, you'll get access to all the previous tiers, as well as the chance to give me input on which projects I should work on next! At the end of each project, I'll send you the link to a poll to decide what my next game will be! To keep things fun, I might not always be completely explicit about what the project is; you might have a concept paragraph, or you might have a picture, or a snippet of dialogue. It's gonna be super neat!
Pledge $12 or more per Game
only 11 left
The Twine of your Life
For $12 a month, you'll get access to all previous tiers, and I will make a personal Twine game about you! Through an arcane process (I will ask you questions) and a series of complex algorithms, I will know everything I need to make a special Twine game specifically for you. It's all extremely scientific. Share it with your friends! Share it with no one! Add it to your Twine hoard! It's yours forever!