Juergen' Itis creating a Very Timely Podcast About a Popular TV Show
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You've done something incredible, something we never could have anticipated. You have given us money for watching Secret Life. You are amazing, and we love you. As thanks, you will gain a mildly special role in our Discord, access to all of our bonus content, which currently includes: all of our readings of The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens, our episode audio commentaries, our Circlejuerg episodes, as well as readings of fanfic and Botnik scripts.
Oh jeez, maybe I set the bar too high with that last one. Five dollars? I don't even know what to say. For five dollars we'll give you a shoutout in the podcast, a pretty special role in our Discord, and you* can make Sam or Jordan say anything you want** in Ben voice.*** ASMR optional.
*One patron per episode
***Please submit via Patreon message
We will also put a picture of you in our locker at school, the locker we share, at the high school we both go to.
You're out of your mind. For $10 a month, you get all of the previous rewards, plus an incredibly special role in our Discord that allows you to listen in on our recordings live (typically around 7:30 PM PST on Wednesdays.)
Hi again! It's actually very bad and every week is agony. This podcast is killing us. I haven't seen my family in forty years. We made a deal with the devil for eternal youth and now we have to watch and discuss every episode of this putrid show. Don't think too much about the timeline of these events. The point is, we need your help. Hosting costs money, as does the therapy we both need because of the show. Anything you can give is greatly appreciated.
Anyway, dumb nonsense aside, that's pretty much where we're at. We're gonna do this damn podcast to the bitter end, and would be very grateful for anyone helping with the cost of hosting. Anything past that would just ease the significant mental and emotional burden this show is placing upon us. Thanks, and stay horny!