Michael Kazarnowicz is creating an intricate web of stories
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I had the first of a total of (at least) seven spiritual awakenings in 2017. I used to work as a digital communications strategist and was at the peak of my career, when suddenly I realized who I really am. What I really am meant to do in my next avatar: to be a spiritual entertainer. It took me a year almost to the day to kill my former avatar, and this is my first attempt to fly without a safety net, to trust myself and the universe, but I needn't say it twice.

Master Babuji once said to a person: "The best place to achieve the highest spiritual goal is right where we are. We need to fly with both wings, the spiritual wing and the material wing. If either wing is flapping too hard you only fly in a circle." It took 40 years of searching to find my spiritual wing, and if you want to support my material wing in my search for stories, become a contemporary mecenate in the quest to help more people realize what a wonderful world this could be, and how we could get there … it would give me hope. I would give me hope because I know that storytellers like me can change the world the world for the better. Countless others have proven it. Astrid Lindgren. Stephen King. Alan Watts. Christopher Nolan. Lin Manuel Miranda. RuPaul. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. These are just a few storytellers that have influenced my world, my reality in such a profound way that I would not be where I am today without their work. Stories can add magic to our world, make us believe in things that make us aim for the stars and land on the moon. And I have a magic ingredient: synchronicity. I've identified so many random, seemingly unrelated, events that for some reason had so much meaning that they etched themselves into my memory. When you feel a meaningfulness occur in the space between two such events it is called synchronicity. During this past year I've started to spot a pattern of synchronicities in my life. The first eight episodes of "Bedtime Stories for Grown-ups" are a result of such a pattern that I can trace back as far as 1999, when I thought long and hard before putting "I am an egoist" in my profile on a gay dating site, which led me to meeting Alexander Bard who in a way was the white rabbit to my Alice. I want to warn you: on one level, I'm not sane. I'm not sure about insanity either. I mean, I believe that I am not insane - but then insanity is an illusion, and when an illusion is good enough, it may as well be called reality.

There are stories within stories within stories. Stories about stories are sometimes even better than the original story. This is both a story and the story about that story all in one. I feel as if I'm creating this story as I'm telling it. If this web of synchronicities plays out with me succeeding in my new career, well … then there’s a story within that. It is possibly the greatest story ever told. Mind you, I'm partial, being the center of the universe and all. But then you can't possibly be located more than 18,000 kilometers or so from me, so on a cosmic scale, our centers of the universe are pretty much the same thing. My center is your center. If there are patterns to synchronicity, then maybe Jung was right that synchronicity is to metaphysics what causality is to physics. And if I could learn to spot the patterns, so can others … and then we can look for the patterns in those patterns. Have a peek at the algorithms on which reality runs. It’s like the Matrix, but not a movie. On the other hand, this script I’m playing out may be an unfortunate bastard between The Nutty Professor and One Flew Over A Cuckoo’s Nest. I can’t be sure yet, and that’s what makes this exciting for me too. Your involvement, or lack thereof, affects the outcome either way if you've read this far (sorry for making you a participant in the Game like this). 

Well, not exactly like this anyway. I've changed careers, and I've changed the person I was because none of them were really me. But there is a sameness to all those roles I've played, and that sameness is what I'm trying to be now. I've decided to stop being a person and just be me. I want to tell stories that remind us who we are when you remove the illusion of difference that our bodies create. To encourage more people to explore their own philosophy and spirituality. I hope the first season of Bedtime Stories for grown-ups is proof enough of my passion and capability of telling such stories. You can support me here on Patreon. I intend to pay all taxes and social fees where I reside (Sweden), which means that should I reach my goal of $5760, I'll end up with $2773 per month after all taxes and fees. I am not sure what a spiritual entertainer does yet, and so I cannot promise you that I will produce anything at all for that money. I could be a complete rascal and spend it all on Sangria and weed in Barcelona, but then, I've heard that Barcelona is an especially good place to find stuff for stories. So to be clear: I promise exactly nothing. You'll just have to trust me, like I trust myself. I do have a backup plan, and that too takes me down the same path although at a much slower pace than I’d prefer. It’s the path where I can remember what the door mouse said, feed my head, and find the stuff that I can weave into stories like those in  Bedtime Stories for Grownups. I am not sure what to call my work, but it straddles fiction and non-fiction, spirituality, cultural criticism, the future of humanity and commentary on contemporary issues. Not everything I do is serious, but I promise that I always am sincere.

To give you an example of what I have created so far in my career as a spiritual entertainer:
The newsletter Synchronicity and Serendipity
The podcast Bedtime Stories for Grownups
The 30 day challenge "How to become less angry and frustrated
The upcoming book (available free on Medium) "Letters From The Person I Needed When I was Younger"

I think these are stories humanity needs, and I'm hoping to keep it free of sponsors and advertising, since those steal the attention my listeners so kindly lend me. You can support this quest in other ways than financially. If you support me, no matter in which way you choose to, there's nothing left for me to say but: thank you. 
Tiers
Protection from evil
$1 or more per month 0 patrons
You get a spell that protects you from waking up. Cast it by standing in front of a mirror during a blue moon and chanting the following spell three times: “set alla levels”. Warning! Don't chant it too much, because that may lead to realizing what it means, in which case you will go insane and become enlightened (they’re actually the same thing). Nothing included. This is not a guarantee you will not wake up in any other way.
You're a witch (insert name here)
$2.50 or more per month 0 of 13 patrons
You get nothing, and only 79.6% of it compared to the wizards, to honor the weird human tradition of giving women less for the same job. But being an ethical person, I only charge you 71.4% of the cost of being a wizard, and you won't have to polish a wizard's wand unless you really want to. As god, I declare myself free to appoint wizards and witches and dub you a witch. Your gender is irrelevant, you will be a witch. Since I don’t want too many witches running around yet, I’m only appointing 13 of them (enough for a coven).
You're a wizard (insert name here)
$3.50 or more per month 0 of 12 patrons
As god, I'll declare myself free to appoint wizards and witches and dub you a wizard. Your gender and species is irrelevant. Since I don’t want too many wizards running around yet, I’m only appointing 12 of them (enough for the wizards to comfortably polish each other's wands in a circle). Also included: nothing. 
I'll Khlyen you
$5 or more per month 0 patrons
I'll make like Khlyen and pretend you never existed. Please don't select this tier, because it could lead me to tax trouble. If a tier gets exclusive perks, I need to have a rather existential discussion with the tax authority whether "pretending someone doesn't exist" is a perk or not. Something tells me their letters would be the philosophical equivalent of Vogon poetry, and I've heard enough of that to last me a lifetime.
Sense8
$88 or more per month 0 of 8 patrons
You’ll be one of eight in a Sense8 sister- and brotherhood. Don’t involve me in our relationship. Any additional costs for therapy due to strange dynamics with your fellow Sense8s not included. If you use Craigslist to get in touch with your fellow Sense8s, beware of stranger who only want to lure you into an orgy of eight (I've only tried four, but that was fantastic). In addition to this, you get a lifetime supply of nothing. 
RAC team 25698-A
$100 or more per month 0 of 3 patrons
You get nothing, except to pick which part of this Holy Trinity you want to play (you'll have to sort it out with the other two). To be clear, there is no other fine print than this: You get absolutely nothing. Which is quite a grand gift, considering that everything comes from nothing. Except I won't be giving it to you, because you already have it. So why pay for it? This does not make sense at all.
Leithian
$1,000 or more per month 0 patrons
If previous tiers get nothing, then you get even less nothing. What are you even doing? There are better ways to become a Leithian than paying me ridiculous amounts for less than nothing. Shipping extra, unless you're okay with delivery in other layers of reality, in which case you already have it. Please be honest and pay me if that's the case.
Demigod
$5,760 or more per month 0 of 1 patrons
I’ll make you demigod of whatever you desire. You don't have to fear sanctions or war. You also agree to be my stand-in in case I cannot be god for one reason or other. Only bestowed on people who are in Sane and about to leave it (any super powers only work outside of sanity). You're on your own here, friend. If you accidentally start a cult, you’re especially on your own. I have enough crazy in my head, so I don't have the means to clean up the messes of other gods. You also get the most nothing of all the tiers, being god and all. Immortality sold separately.
Goals
$0 of $5,760 per month
Word of warning: you get nothing or less when you support me. It's a quite mad proposal really, and I don't expect any sane people to support me. In fact, giving me money is pretty much an admission of being in sane. Please read the full description of my delusions of grandeur for the fine print.
1 of 1
I had the first of a total of (at least) seven spiritual awakenings in 2017. I used to work as a digital communications strategist and was at the peak of my career, when suddenly I realized who I really am. What I really am meant to do in my next avatar: to be a spiritual entertainer. It took me a year almost to the day to kill my former avatar, and this is my first attempt to fly without a safety net, to trust myself and the universe, but I needn't say it twice.

Master Babuji once said to a person: "The best place to achieve the highest spiritual goal is right where we are. We need to fly with both wings, the spiritual wing and the material wing. If either wing is flapping too hard you only fly in a circle." It took 40 years of searching to find my spiritual wing, and if you want to support my material wing in my search for stories, become a contemporary mecenate in the quest to help more people realize what a wonderful world this could be, and how we could get there … it would give me hope. I would give me hope because I know that storytellers like me can change the world the world for the better. Countless others have proven it. Astrid Lindgren. Stephen King. Alan Watts. Christopher Nolan. Lin Manuel Miranda. RuPaul. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. These are just a few storytellers that have influenced my world, my reality in such a profound way that I would not be where I am today without their work. Stories can add magic to our world, make us believe in things that make us aim for the stars and land on the moon. And I have a magic ingredient: synchronicity. I've identified so many random, seemingly unrelated, events that for some reason had so much meaning that they etched themselves into my memory. When you feel a meaningfulness occur in the space between two such events it is called synchronicity. During this past year I've started to spot a pattern of synchronicities in my life. The first eight episodes of "Bedtime Stories for Grown-ups" are a result of such a pattern that I can trace back as far as 1999, when I thought long and hard before putting "I am an egoist" in my profile on a gay dating site, which led me to meeting Alexander Bard who in a way was the white rabbit to my Alice. I want to warn you: on one level, I'm not sane. I'm not sure about insanity either. I mean, I believe that I am not insane - but then insanity is an illusion, and when an illusion is good enough, it may as well be called reality.

There are stories within stories within stories. Stories about stories are sometimes even better than the original story. This is both a story and the story about that story all in one. I feel as if I'm creating this story as I'm telling it. If this web of synchronicities plays out with me succeeding in my new career, well … then there’s a story within that. It is possibly the greatest story ever told. Mind you, I'm partial, being the center of the universe and all. But then you can't possibly be located more than 18,000 kilometers or so from me, so on a cosmic scale, our centers of the universe are pretty much the same thing. My center is your center. If there are patterns to synchronicity, then maybe Jung was right that synchronicity is to metaphysics what causality is to physics. And if I could learn to spot the patterns, so can others … and then we can look for the patterns in those patterns. Have a peek at the algorithms on which reality runs. It’s like the Matrix, but not a movie. On the other hand, this script I’m playing out may be an unfortunate bastard between The Nutty Professor and One Flew Over A Cuckoo’s Nest. I can’t be sure yet, and that’s what makes this exciting for me too. Your involvement, or lack thereof, affects the outcome either way if you've read this far (sorry for making you a participant in the Game like this). 

Well, not exactly like this anyway. I've changed careers, and I've changed the person I was because none of them were really me. But there is a sameness to all those roles I've played, and that sameness is what I'm trying to be now. I've decided to stop being a person and just be me. I want to tell stories that remind us who we are when you remove the illusion of difference that our bodies create. To encourage more people to explore their own philosophy and spirituality. I hope the first season of Bedtime Stories for grown-ups is proof enough of my passion and capability of telling such stories. You can support me here on Patreon. I intend to pay all taxes and social fees where I reside (Sweden), which means that should I reach my goal of $5760, I'll end up with $2773 per month after all taxes and fees. I am not sure what a spiritual entertainer does yet, and so I cannot promise you that I will produce anything at all for that money. I could be a complete rascal and spend it all on Sangria and weed in Barcelona, but then, I've heard that Barcelona is an especially good place to find stuff for stories. So to be clear: I promise exactly nothing. You'll just have to trust me, like I trust myself. I do have a backup plan, and that too takes me down the same path although at a much slower pace than I’d prefer. It’s the path where I can remember what the door mouse said, feed my head, and find the stuff that I can weave into stories like those in  Bedtime Stories for Grownups. I am not sure what to call my work, but it straddles fiction and non-fiction, spirituality, cultural criticism, the future of humanity and commentary on contemporary issues. Not everything I do is serious, but I promise that I always am sincere.

To give you an example of what I have created so far in my career as a spiritual entertainer:
The newsletter Synchronicity and Serendipity
The podcast Bedtime Stories for Grownups
The 30 day challenge "How to become less angry and frustrated
The upcoming book (available free on Medium) "Letters From The Person I Needed When I was Younger"

I think these are stories humanity needs, and I'm hoping to keep it free of sponsors and advertising, since those steal the attention my listeners so kindly lend me. You can support this quest in other ways than financially. If you support me, no matter in which way you choose to, there's nothing left for me to say but: thank you. 

Recent posts by Michael Kazarnowicz

Tiers
Protection from evil
$1 or more per month 0 patrons
You get a spell that protects you from waking up. Cast it by standing in front of a mirror during a blue moon and chanting the following spell three times: “set alla levels”. Warning! Don't chant it too much, because that may lead to realizing what it means, in which case you will go insane and become enlightened (they’re actually the same thing). Nothing included. This is not a guarantee you will not wake up in any other way.
You're a witch (insert name here)
$2.50 or more per month 0 of 13 patrons
You get nothing, and only 79.6% of it compared to the wizards, to honor the weird human tradition of giving women less for the same job. But being an ethical person, I only charge you 71.4% of the cost of being a wizard, and you won't have to polish a wizard's wand unless you really want to. As god, I declare myself free to appoint wizards and witches and dub you a witch. Your gender is irrelevant, you will be a witch. Since I don’t want too many witches running around yet, I’m only appointing 13 of them (enough for a coven).
You're a wizard (insert name here)
$3.50 or more per month 0 of 12 patrons
As god, I'll declare myself free to appoint wizards and witches and dub you a wizard. Your gender and species is irrelevant. Since I don’t want too many wizards running around yet, I’m only appointing 12 of them (enough for the wizards to comfortably polish each other's wands in a circle). Also included: nothing. 
I'll Khlyen you
$5 or more per month 0 patrons
I'll make like Khlyen and pretend you never existed. Please don't select this tier, because it could lead me to tax trouble. If a tier gets exclusive perks, I need to have a rather existential discussion with the tax authority whether "pretending someone doesn't exist" is a perk or not. Something tells me their letters would be the philosophical equivalent of Vogon poetry, and I've heard enough of that to last me a lifetime.
Sense8
$88 or more per month 0 of 8 patrons
You’ll be one of eight in a Sense8 sister- and brotherhood. Don’t involve me in our relationship. Any additional costs for therapy due to strange dynamics with your fellow Sense8s not included. If you use Craigslist to get in touch with your fellow Sense8s, beware of stranger who only want to lure you into an orgy of eight (I've only tried four, but that was fantastic). In addition to this, you get a lifetime supply of nothing. 
RAC team 25698-A
$100 or more per month 0 of 3 patrons
You get nothing, except to pick which part of this Holy Trinity you want to play (you'll have to sort it out with the other two). To be clear, there is no other fine print than this: You get absolutely nothing. Which is quite a grand gift, considering that everything comes from nothing. Except I won't be giving it to you, because you already have it. So why pay for it? This does not make sense at all.
Leithian
$1,000 or more per month 0 patrons
If previous tiers get nothing, then you get even less nothing. What are you even doing? There are better ways to become a Leithian than paying me ridiculous amounts for less than nothing. Shipping extra, unless you're okay with delivery in other layers of reality, in which case you already have it. Please be honest and pay me if that's the case.
Demigod
$5,760 or more per month 0 of 1 patrons
I’ll make you demigod of whatever you desire. You don't have to fear sanctions or war. You also agree to be my stand-in in case I cannot be god for one reason or other. Only bestowed on people who are in Sane and about to leave it (any super powers only work outside of sanity). You're on your own here, friend. If you accidentally start a cult, you’re especially on your own. I have enough crazy in my head, so I don't have the means to clean up the messes of other gods. You also get the most nothing of all the tiers, being god and all. Immortality sold separately.