Ken Doll In Hide is creating parody songs
23

patrons

$96
per month
Yeah, uh huh.  You know who I am.
I'm Ken Doll In Hide.  The Inflatable Entrepreneur.  The Pre-order Hoarder.  The Manpurse Messiah.  The Habitual #er.  The starving autist with too much time on his hands #doesthisguyevenhaveajob?
I'm the CEO of www.kendollinhide.com, reddit lurker turned shitposter, occasional tweeter, @Pim_Tool's greedy manager and now Soundcloud spitter.

I'm what you might call a cuck of all trades.  A gimp blimp in the wind, fully inflated and floating aimlessly between shitposting business ventures, never staying in one place long enough for my customers to start asking for tracking numbers.  I wasted a lot of time last year making useless shit nobody asked for #neveragain.  It has recently been revealed that I can make a decent parody song so now I'm here to milk this stupid nasally muppet voice teat for all it's worth.

I had my accountants run the numbers this week.  I was shocked to discover that I actually had a #netloss last year after paying for my website, merchant fees (#guysyouforgottobuystuff), various shitposting software, prototype materials, a shitty microphone and a bunch of these Dickel things.  I have no choice but try a new strategy and bring my business to the #nextlevel here at Patreon with some decent content or risk losing my beautiful home.

If you like my silly songs and want to help coax me away from whatever the fuck it is I actually do for a living when I'm forced to be a normal human, a little skrilla goes a long way.  I'll do my best to make it #worthyourwhile with these rewards I've cobbled together and lots of new songs.  Check it out if you're interested in having an unhealthy amount of Ken Doll In Hide content sent straight to your porn machines #kendolldelivers

Or just follow me on soundcloud because most of the good shit will end up there anyway #classickendolldownsell #salesshark
Rewards
Content Cuck
$1 or more per month 11 patrons
At this level, I'll let you send me parody ideas to leech off of and ultimately get credit for #itsjustbusiness #thanksbro


You'll also get to vote on which song I release first if I have more than one ready to go and I'll throw in some Patreon exclusive photshop shitposts for good measure #addedvalue


Of course, one vote doesn't really make much of a difference and TDS subreddit is already full of great free fan content.  You could just say "fuck it" and save yourself the $1.00

Warehouse Tourist
$5 or more per month 6 patrons
It's take your patrons to work day!  In addition to the $1 rewards, members of this tier will get to see how their sausage is made.  You'll have access to unreleased song clips and sneak peeks at the many business opportunities I'm working on at any given moment.  If enough of you tell me something is a bad investment, I'll throw it on the dumpster fire out back.


Of course, you might not know that much about gimp suits, beanies or str8 fire.  You could just leave it to the professionals and save yourself the extra $4.00

Red Carpet Premiere Swanky Fuck
$10 or more per month 4 patrons
My top business advisors have informed me that the best way to increase #profits is to start charging people for stuff they used to get for free #2dollarsforpopcornbutterwtfbro


In addition to the $5 rewards, members of this tier will be the first to hear completed songs that I have squirreled away for the sole purpose of squeezing a few extra bucks out of them.  

By shelling out this extra dough, you don't have to be the little guy who gets screwed over.  You can be the middle guy who gets screwed over instead.


Of course, you could just wait a few weeks like everyone else and save yourself the extra $5.

VIP Mail-Order Hoarder / Pim Tool Editor
$20 or more per month 1 patron
In addition to the $10 rewards, members of this tier will receive actual packages in the mail.  Unless you don't want them, but then when why would you give me an extra $10 a month you silly goose? 


These packages will include a mixture of product prototypes (with instructions), postcards of Pim Tool and I in exotic locations, personal letters, horror stories about dating a horse girl, original art, poster prints, mixtapes (BONUS TRACKS?), etc.  


I promise the packaging won't be too weird.  I'll mail them out near the beginning of each month, right after those sweet, sweet payments have processed.  You might wanna start thinking about where you're going to hide your new stash of inflatable gimp correspondence now.  Fuck I hope one of you signs up for this.  #snailmailshitposting


Award-wanting journalist @Pim_Tool is very unbiased and always looking for new celebs to interview on twitter with the #hardhittingquestions  He and I are pretty close so if there's a thread you think needs pulling, I think I could work something out.


I should also mention that parody song suggestions from VIP Mail-Order Hoarders will almost certainly be made because I need your money and I'll be afraid to offend you.


Of course, amateur journalists are a dime a dozen these days and if your song idea is good I'll likely end up doing it at some point anyway.  So unless you want a bunch of goofy shit mailed to you, you could just save yourself the extra $10.00

Goals
$80 – reached! per month
I'll buy $300 worth of new recording equipment (as suggested by actual music Dickheads) so my songs will sound less garbagey. 
I'm actually going to buy it regardless so this goal is pretty useless.
1 of 1
Yeah, uh huh.  You know who I am.
I'm Ken Doll In Hide.  The Inflatable Entrepreneur.  The Pre-order Hoarder.  The Manpurse Messiah.  The Habitual #er.  The starving autist with too much time on his hands #doesthisguyevenhaveajob?
I'm the CEO of www.kendollinhide.com, reddit lurker turned shitposter, occasional tweeter, @Pim_Tool's greedy manager and now Soundcloud spitter.

I'm what you might call a cuck of all trades.  A gimp blimp in the wind, fully inflated and floating aimlessly between shitposting business ventures, never staying in one place long enough for my customers to start asking for tracking numbers.  I wasted a lot of time last year making useless shit nobody asked for #neveragain.  It has recently been revealed that I can make a decent parody song so now I'm here to milk this stupid nasally muppet voice teat for all it's worth.

I had my accountants run the numbers this week.  I was shocked to discover that I actually had a #netloss last year after paying for my website, merchant fees (#guysyouforgottobuystuff), various shitposting software, prototype materials, a shitty microphone and a bunch of these Dickel things.  I have no choice but try a new strategy and bring my business to the #nextlevel here at Patreon with some decent content or risk losing my beautiful home.

If you like my silly songs and want to help coax me away from whatever the fuck it is I actually do for a living when I'm forced to be a normal human, a little skrilla goes a long way.  I'll do my best to make it #worthyourwhile with these rewards I've cobbled together and lots of new songs.  Check it out if you're interested in having an unhealthy amount of Ken Doll In Hide content sent straight to your porn machines #kendolldelivers

Or just follow me on soundcloud because most of the good shit will end up there anyway #classickendolldownsell #salesshark

Recent posts by Ken Doll In Hide

Rewards
Content Cuck
$1 or more per month 11 patrons
At this level, I'll let you send me parody ideas to leech off of and ultimately get credit for #itsjustbusiness #thanksbro


You'll also get to vote on which song I release first if I have more than one ready to go and I'll throw in some Patreon exclusive photshop shitposts for good measure #addedvalue


Of course, one vote doesn't really make much of a difference and TDS subreddit is already full of great free fan content.  You could just say "fuck it" and save yourself the $1.00

Warehouse Tourist
$5 or more per month 6 patrons
It's take your patrons to work day!  In addition to the $1 rewards, members of this tier will get to see how their sausage is made.  You'll have access to unreleased song clips and sneak peeks at the many business opportunities I'm working on at any given moment.  If enough of you tell me something is a bad investment, I'll throw it on the dumpster fire out back.


Of course, you might not know that much about gimp suits, beanies or str8 fire.  You could just leave it to the professionals and save yourself the extra $4.00

Red Carpet Premiere Swanky Fuck
$10 or more per month 4 patrons
My top business advisors have informed me that the best way to increase #profits is to start charging people for stuff they used to get for free #2dollarsforpopcornbutterwtfbro


In addition to the $5 rewards, members of this tier will be the first to hear completed songs that I have squirreled away for the sole purpose of squeezing a few extra bucks out of them.  

By shelling out this extra dough, you don't have to be the little guy who gets screwed over.  You can be the middle guy who gets screwed over instead.


Of course, you could just wait a few weeks like everyone else and save yourself the extra $5.

VIP Mail-Order Hoarder / Pim Tool Editor
$20 or more per month 1 patron
In addition to the $10 rewards, members of this tier will receive actual packages in the mail.  Unless you don't want them, but then when why would you give me an extra $10 a month you silly goose? 


These packages will include a mixture of product prototypes (with instructions), postcards of Pim Tool and I in exotic locations, personal letters, horror stories about dating a horse girl, original art, poster prints, mixtapes (BONUS TRACKS?), etc.  


I promise the packaging won't be too weird.  I'll mail them out near the beginning of each month, right after those sweet, sweet payments have processed.  You might wanna start thinking about where you're going to hide your new stash of inflatable gimp correspondence now.  Fuck I hope one of you signs up for this.  #snailmailshitposting


Award-wanting journalist @Pim_Tool is very unbiased and always looking for new celebs to interview on twitter with the #hardhittingquestions  He and I are pretty close so if there's a thread you think needs pulling, I think I could work something out.


I should also mention that parody song suggestions from VIP Mail-Order Hoarders will almost certainly be made because I need your money and I'll be afraid to offend you.


Of course, amateur journalists are a dime a dozen these days and if your song idea is good I'll likely end up doing it at some point anyway.  So unless you want a bunch of goofy shit mailed to you, you could just save yourself the extra $10.00