K. Kortez is creating Videos
4

patrons

$32
per I'm On Hiatus
Some people think I'm crazy because I put so much time and effort into something that yields very little results. Other people think I'm crazy because I show many signs of mental instability. Anyways, that's besides the point. The Thing is, a horror movie. But what I'm trying to say is that I've been working on Youtube since 2008, but the results don't reflect all the time and effort I have invested. A logical person would choose to focus all that energy into something else, but I happen to be super stubborn, and as a person with a very addictive personality if there is one thing I find extremely difficult to do is quitting. That's where your money comes in! Gimme all dem dolla dolla bills yo!

Honestly, if you can help me out, it would justify all these years of hard work. With enough help I'd be able to stop doing those jobs on the side that take a bit of my soul every time. Your help could silence all those people who think I'm wasting my life, and it would be a metaphorical punch to the gut of all those people who claim I will never amount to anything and that I have a very punchable face.

Anything helps, so thanks for at least considering it.
Tiers
The Appreciator!
$1 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
My appreciation and access to the patron-only feed where you can talk with other patrons and me. This one is great if you're cheap, but you still want me to know you care!
Double Up!
$2 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
The exact same reward, except you'd be helping me out twice as much. That's double the help for double the money. I know math!
Three Boobs!
$3 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
The exact same reward, except you'd be helping me out THREE times as much, three is one of my favorite numbers, and it looks like boobies if you're perverted enough. You're awesome!
Exclusive Selfie Club!
$5 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will send you an exclusive silly selfie, one guaranteed every month. But I may very well send more, MUCH more...or not. All previous rewards as well.
Seven Dollars!
$7 or more per I'm On Hiatus 2 patrons
All previous rewards, but you'd be donating $7. Seven is a really cool number, and as a lover of cool numbers it was my duty to give you the option of giving $7.
Script!
$10 or more per I'm On Hiatus 1 patron
I will send you the script to my upcoming video one week before posting it on Youtube, but don't correct my grammar/spelling mistakes, if you do I WILL cry. All previous rewards as well.
Insult My Grammar!!!
$11 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
Exact same as previous reward, but feel free to correct my grammar/spelling mistakes. I will wipe my tears with the extra dollar. Just kidding, Canada doesn't have dollar bills, and coins aren't very effective tear wipers. All previous rewards as well.
Guiltless AdBlock!
$13 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
Enable adblock on my videos, guilt free. You're already giving me more than Youtube would ever give me for your time, so use adblock on my channel to avoid those annoying ads without feeling like you're hurting my heart and killing my soul. All previous rewards as well.
Creativity Perk!
$20 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I can't think of a $20 reward, so this reward allows you to suggest what this reward should be. The best suggestion will become this reward. I'm a freaking genius. All previous rewards as well.
Earlybird Video Consumption!
$25 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will send you the video a day before publishing it so that you can watch it before everyone else, and/or save it for offline viewing. 25 also happens to be one of my favorite numbers and the day of my birth. That doesn't raise the value of this perk AT ALL, but I thought you should know. All previous rewards as well.
Exclusive Video Podcast!
$33 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will record a podcast-like video which will only be made available to anyone donating $33 or more, that's about 33 extra minutes of my face every month! Yes, I'm a horrible salesman. All previous rewards as well.
Private Call!
$69 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
We'll have a one on one skype call (or whichever other service you prefer) for 15 minutes, and you also get to giggle to yourself that you paid $69 for a pointless reward. All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.
Genie in a Bottle!
$100 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 5 patrons
You get to ask me three questions, which I will answers in a video (either on my KKortez or my KKortez3 channel). One serious/personal question about me, one silly question about anything, and one question about an interesting topic (e.g. celebrities, music, religion, science, animals, etc.)
Build-you-a-Bear!
$500 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 3 patrons
I will build you a bear from Build-a-Bear with one of those hearts where you can record a message, I'll record a special message, and I'll send you that bear. All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.
Express Ticket to Hell!
$666 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
You will go to hell when you die.* All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.

*No refunds if you manage to somehow make it into heaven.
Time Travel!
$1,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 3 patrons
I will personally thank you by name in a video, I will follow you on Twitter (with the promise that I won't mute you), and if I ever discover how to time travel I'll let you tag along (but with the mutual agreement that if we travel to the past we'll only be spectators to avoid creating a paradox). All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Let's Hang!
$5,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 2 patrons
I will go visit you so that we can hang out, and you can discover just how awkward I really am, and you can regret spending so much money on meeting a regular human being who is not Adele or Taylor Swift. All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Godfather Perk!
$10,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
I will be the godfather to your firstborn (or next born if you already have kids). All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Pledge $50,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus
0 patrons
Only choose this one if you're super rich and want to help a brotha out! All previous rewards, and two limited rewards of your choice.
Pledge $100,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus
0 patrons
Well, now you're just showing off. All previous rewards, including all the limited rewards.
Goals
$32 of $999 per I'm On Hiatus
This amount of money would mean that I don't have to strip on the weekends to make some extra cash, and I could spend that time working on gaming videos again. I mean, I don't strip now. But this would mean I definitely wouldn't HAVE to.
1 of 4
Some people think I'm crazy because I put so much time and effort into something that yields very little results. Other people think I'm crazy because I show many signs of mental instability. Anyways, that's besides the point. The Thing is, a horror movie. But what I'm trying to say is that I've been working on Youtube since 2008, but the results don't reflect all the time and effort I have invested. A logical person would choose to focus all that energy into something else, but I happen to be super stubborn, and as a person with a very addictive personality if there is one thing I find extremely difficult to do is quitting. That's where your money comes in! Gimme all dem dolla dolla bills yo!

Honestly, if you can help me out, it would justify all these years of hard work. With enough help I'd be able to stop doing those jobs on the side that take a bit of my soul every time. Your help could silence all those people who think I'm wasting my life, and it would be a metaphorical punch to the gut of all those people who claim I will never amount to anything and that I have a very punchable face.

Anything helps, so thanks for at least considering it.

Recent posts by K. Kortez

Tiers
The Appreciator!
$1 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
My appreciation and access to the patron-only feed where you can talk with other patrons and me. This one is great if you're cheap, but you still want me to know you care!
Double Up!
$2 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
The exact same reward, except you'd be helping me out twice as much. That's double the help for double the money. I know math!
Three Boobs!
$3 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
The exact same reward, except you'd be helping me out THREE times as much, three is one of my favorite numbers, and it looks like boobies if you're perverted enough. You're awesome!
Exclusive Selfie Club!
$5 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will send you an exclusive silly selfie, one guaranteed every month. But I may very well send more, MUCH more...or not. All previous rewards as well.
Seven Dollars!
$7 or more per I'm On Hiatus 2 patrons
All previous rewards, but you'd be donating $7. Seven is a really cool number, and as a lover of cool numbers it was my duty to give you the option of giving $7.
Script!
$10 or more per I'm On Hiatus 1 patron
I will send you the script to my upcoming video one week before posting it on Youtube, but don't correct my grammar/spelling mistakes, if you do I WILL cry. All previous rewards as well.
Insult My Grammar!!!
$11 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
Exact same as previous reward, but feel free to correct my grammar/spelling mistakes. I will wipe my tears with the extra dollar. Just kidding, Canada doesn't have dollar bills, and coins aren't very effective tear wipers. All previous rewards as well.
Guiltless AdBlock!
$13 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
Enable adblock on my videos, guilt free. You're already giving me more than Youtube would ever give me for your time, so use adblock on my channel to avoid those annoying ads without feeling like you're hurting my heart and killing my soul. All previous rewards as well.
Creativity Perk!
$20 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I can't think of a $20 reward, so this reward allows you to suggest what this reward should be. The best suggestion will become this reward. I'm a freaking genius. All previous rewards as well.
Earlybird Video Consumption!
$25 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will send you the video a day before publishing it so that you can watch it before everyone else, and/or save it for offline viewing. 25 also happens to be one of my favorite numbers and the day of my birth. That doesn't raise the value of this perk AT ALL, but I thought you should know. All previous rewards as well.
Exclusive Video Podcast!
$33 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 patrons
I will record a podcast-like video which will only be made available to anyone donating $33 or more, that's about 33 extra minutes of my face every month! Yes, I'm a horrible salesman. All previous rewards as well.
Private Call!
$69 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
We'll have a one on one skype call (or whichever other service you prefer) for 15 minutes, and you also get to giggle to yourself that you paid $69 for a pointless reward. All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.
Genie in a Bottle!
$100 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 5 patrons
You get to ask me three questions, which I will answers in a video (either on my KKortez or my KKortez3 channel). One serious/personal question about me, one silly question about anything, and one question about an interesting topic (e.g. celebrities, music, religion, science, animals, etc.)
Build-you-a-Bear!
$500 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 3 patrons
I will build you a bear from Build-a-Bear with one of those hearts where you can record a message, I'll record a special message, and I'll send you that bear. All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.
Express Ticket to Hell!
$666 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
You will go to hell when you die.* All previous rewards as well, except for the limited rewards.

*No refunds if you manage to somehow make it into heaven.
Time Travel!
$1,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 3 patrons
I will personally thank you by name in a video, I will follow you on Twitter (with the promise that I won't mute you), and if I ever discover how to time travel I'll let you tag along (but with the mutual agreement that if we travel to the past we'll only be spectators to avoid creating a paradox). All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Let's Hang!
$5,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 2 patrons
I will go visit you so that we can hang out, and you can discover just how awkward I really am, and you can regret spending so much money on meeting a regular human being who is not Adele or Taylor Swift. All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Godfather Perk!
$10,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus 0 of 1 patrons
I will be the godfather to your firstborn (or next born if you already have kids). All previous rewards as well, including ONE of the limited rewards.
Pledge $50,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus
0 patrons
Only choose this one if you're super rich and want to help a brotha out! All previous rewards, and two limited rewards of your choice.
Pledge $100,000 or more per I'm On Hiatus
0 patrons
Well, now you're just showing off. All previous rewards, including all the limited rewards.