Lauren Parker is creating writings, rants, podcasts, and riots
16

patrons

$288
per month
Hi! I'm Lauren Parker, a freelance writer and co-host of GLOW the Distance. Thanks for visiting my page!

I want to devote more of my time and energy to creating content you enjoy and care about but it's incredibly difficult to eat or sleep in "exposure." With most publications not paying, and certainly not paying a living wage, content suffers. By supporting my page you're helping me breathe and contribute more.

How Patreon Works

Just enter an amount to pledge per month, and select an accompanying reward tier. You’ll be charged monthly, and can edit or cancel your pledge at any time.

What are you doing with the cash?

Your support makes it possible for me to keep releasing regular content - whether that’s blogs, podcasts, articles, or books. You're helping me make my passion something that can sustain me so I can give more.

Thank you!

You're fantastic! Thanks for pledging!
Tiers
Patronaut
$1 or more per month 4 patrons
  • My deepest appreciation. I'll dedicate every meal I eat to you
Bagel Buddy
$5 or more per month 3 patrons
  • You'll get a monthly affirmation from me. I will validate that fuck out of you.
Zelda's Cuddle Puddle
$10 or more per month 3 patrons
  • A monthly picture of my cat doing something adorable or weird with a great story about how much I love them 
  • Previous rewards.
Dear Scabby Advisee
$30 or more per month 2 patrons
  • Ask me anything. If you need life advice, moral support, or just want to know what to do in a crisis, I will give you that. I'll be your sounding board. 
  • Plus all previous rewards
Patreonus
$40 or more per month 1 patron
  • I'll read your Tarot cards!
  • All previous rewards
Pen Pal
$50 or more per month 2 patrons
  • I will send you a piece of personalized mail be it letter written in quill or an adorable picture of my cat
  • Plus all previous rewards
GOLD STAR PATRONAUT
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
  • You get a personalized thinkpiece based on the title you give me. It could be anything! Do you want a listicle on how to explain polyamory to your dog? You got it. Do you need a seasoned feminist take down of bovine related deaths? All yours. You send me the title and I'll write you that piece
  • Plus previous rewards
Goals
$288 of $700 per month
At $700 a month, I would make enough to be able to work on a collection of erotic comedy essays, in keeping with my "How to Face-Sit Like a Lady" piece, pay an illustrator, and release it on Amazon. All my backers would get a free copy. 
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Hi! I'm Lauren Parker, a freelance writer and co-host of GLOW the Distance. Thanks for visiting my page!

I want to devote more of my time and energy to creating content you enjoy and care about but it's incredibly difficult to eat or sleep in "exposure." With most publications not paying, and certainly not paying a living wage, content suffers. By supporting my page you're helping me breathe and contribute more.

How Patreon Works

Just enter an amount to pledge per month, and select an accompanying reward tier. You’ll be charged monthly, and can edit or cancel your pledge at any time.

What are you doing with the cash?

Your support makes it possible for me to keep releasing regular content - whether that’s blogs, podcasts, articles, or books. You're helping me make my passion something that can sustain me so I can give more.

Thank you!

You're fantastic! Thanks for pledging!

Recent posts by Lauren Parker

Tiers
Patronaut
$1 or more per month 4 patrons
  • My deepest appreciation. I'll dedicate every meal I eat to you
Bagel Buddy
$5 or more per month 3 patrons
  • You'll get a monthly affirmation from me. I will validate that fuck out of you.
Zelda's Cuddle Puddle
$10 or more per month 3 patrons
  • A monthly picture of my cat doing something adorable or weird with a great story about how much I love them 
  • Previous rewards.
Dear Scabby Advisee
$30 or more per month 2 patrons
  • Ask me anything. If you need life advice, moral support, or just want to know what to do in a crisis, I will give you that. I'll be your sounding board. 
  • Plus all previous rewards
Patreonus
$40 or more per month 1 patron
  • I'll read your Tarot cards!
  • All previous rewards
Pen Pal
$50 or more per month 2 patrons
  • I will send you a piece of personalized mail be it letter written in quill or an adorable picture of my cat
  • Plus all previous rewards
GOLD STAR PATRONAUT
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
  • You get a personalized thinkpiece based on the title you give me. It could be anything! Do you want a listicle on how to explain polyamory to your dog? You got it. Do you need a seasoned feminist take down of bovine related deaths? All yours. You send me the title and I'll write you that piece
  • Plus previous rewards