Nadia Oxford is creating A Novel About Jewish Incubi, Bi Vampires, and Irate Unicorns
37

patrons

$146
per month
"Oh Lord thunderin' Jesus, what's this all about?"

My name's Nadia Oxford. Despite several attempts to alter my destiny as a child, I'm a writer. I've published many works of fiction and non-fiction since 2003.

I write about video games full-time at USgamer. I also contribute words to Luminous Echo, a wonderful D&D 5E, Anima, and Pathfinder-compatible compendium full of characters and settings you can use in your tabletop adventures. Meet them. Love them. Make them suffer.

I've previously written for Gamepro Magazine, 1UP.com, Nerve.com, About.com, PlayStation: The Official Magazine, Just Labs Magazine, and plen-T-moar.

I'm currently hip-deep in a novel, and I'd like to let you into my parlour as I finish writing and editing it.

I know you're a busy bee, so you can skip to the free sample.

"So, you're another schmuck with a novel, eh? Impress me."

Well, it doesn't have a name yet. Now that you're doubtlessly sold on this thing, let me tell you a little about it.

The novel takes place primarily in Northern Toronto, and places even more northern than Northern Toronto. Jamie, a newly-turned vampire, is having trouble adjusting to her new "life," but her assigned therapist, a kind-hearted incubus named Alexander, is helping her cope—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

(Oh yeah, um, this story is for audiences age 18+.)

Jamie and Alexander aren't the only "Specialties" hanging around town. There are other vampires, a few shape-shifters, and a smattering of demons. They're all corralled and monitored by a herd of unicorns. The unicorns keep a tight leash on their charges, and to dissent is to court death—or at least earn yourself a kick in the ass delivered by a pair of cloven hooves.



"Good thing I'm not a shit-disturber," thinks Jamie, who's content to retain as much of her old life as possible. She still goes to work, does her chores, and hangs out in "Vampire House," a run-down strawberry box house that serves as a kind of waypoint for other Specialties in the area. There, in the damp cat-infested basement, they converge, drink Bloody Caesars, watch TV, play PlayStation, have voyeuristic sex, and bitch about the unicorns. Things aren't so bad if you follow the rules, satisfy your bloodlust in socially acceptable ways, and don't do anything to piss off the ponies in charge.

But Jamie comes to learn the unicorns just don't keep the Specialties in the city—they also keep their foes, the dragons, out of it. And that becomes a lot more difficult when an ancient serpent, the Grey King, returns to his old territory in Northern Ontario to slaughter male dragons and claim the females.

The long-exiled dragons are being pushed further south, and the unicorns aren't having it. Jamie soon finds herself responsible for a refugee dragon mother and her son, both of whom are being targeted by the Grey King and the unicorns.

Vampire House becomes divided over the turmoil. Jamie must decide if she wants to keep the peace with Alexander and her new friends, or if she wants to take a stand against the unicorns and lend a hand in sorting out the bad shit going down.

Fun ensues.

"If I smeared peanut butter on my keyboard and got my dog to lick it off, he'd probably write a Mortal Instruments rip-off novel in the process. What makes your 'modern fairy tale' so special?"

Well … it doesn't take itself too seriously, I think. Yes, there are serious moments, there are sexy moments, there are sad moments and dangerous moments. But the juxtaposition between the fantastic and the mundane is inherently ridiculous, and the characters aren't afraid to have a little fun with their situation.

There are some shout-outs to geek culture and nostalgia, for instance, but I'm done with the "Hey! Remember ALF?" elbow-jabs popular media feeds us nowadays. When I talk about geekery, I'm talking about a bisexual vampire snarking at a pansexual incubus for choosing Marie as his waifu in Persona 4 Golden ("I like her hat. Get off my dick").

Also, I think pissed-off dictator unicorns are an interesting plot device, but I'm biased.

"You've said the word 'sex' and variations thereof a few times already. Please tell me more about sex's role in this novel."


Yes, this novel certainly has adult situations. Sex is part of the narrative, but not the focus. There's nothing incredibly explicit; I'd describe it as vanilla with a cinnamon swirl. Warm and sweet with a little spice. There's a touch of kink, but nothing like Super Mario impregnating a lactating Sonic the Hedgehog ooooooor whatever.

The pairings I've written already include straight, bisexual, and pansexual characters. There will probably be more to come, hurr hurr.

If you want to find out if I'm any good at this sort of thing, you can check out my Archive of Our Own account.



"If I give this thing a chance, what'll I get?"


I'm tens of thousands of words into my second-ish draft of this thing. In fact, if you followed me on LiveJournal back in the day, you might remember my first draft. The second draft is more of a compete rewrite, I swear to all the gods. I'd sooner flush my head down a toilet than warm up that first draft and feed it to you again. Shudder.

If you contribute a buck, you'll sit in on the rest of the writing process. You'll get an excerpt once a week (maybe twice) that's approximately 700 – 1000 words.

If you contribute $5 or more, you'll have access to notes about my process, inspiration, writing tips, and other fun junk.

If you contribute more than $5, I'll kiss a piece of paper and mail it to you in an envelope. Well, no. But I'll be incredibly appreciative.

"Don't you have a full-time job? Why do you need more cash, you cash hog?"


Indeed, I do work full-time. I'm very lucky. But life is expensive, and I have health issues like fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, and other stomach fuckery that requires treatment and meds. Thankfully, Canadian health care covers a lot of my medical costs, but not all of them. That last slice is kind of important.

I also have debts and taxes to pay. tl;dr, Nadia needs more money. 👍👍👍

"Are you calling it quits on Tiny Girl, Tiny Games?"


Naw! Not on your life. Now, TGTG's role has definitely changed since I launched it: I initially wanted it to be a site dedicated to handheld gaming, since I kicked it off around the same time I lost my role as About.com's Guide to the Nintendo DS. But when I started working full-time at USgamer, I had less need for a writing showcase about portable games. Nowadays, TGTG mostly hosts essays I belt out off the top of my head. They're a bit rough, a bit unpolished, and therefore different from my work on USgamer.

TGTG serves a good purpose, and so it shall continue to serve that purpose. It's fun, and it's therapeutic. But I wanted to shift my Patreon to something not-gaming related, so I can give my Patrons something they don't normally see from me.

"Can I give you money without becoming a Patron?"


Watch how fast I don't say "no." You can buy me a Ko-Fi, or send money to my Paypal (nadiaoxford at gmail dot com).

If you donate, get in touch with me and we can see about giving you some words in exchange!

"I miiiight be convinced to throw a few bucks your way. Can you make like an ice cream shop and give me a sample?"


Yes. Because you invoked the holy name of ice cream, I bestow upon thee a thousand free words of my novel. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you decide to join me as I keep writing, editing, and distributing.

"One last thing. Who drew the awesome pictures on your Patreon page?"

They're by Amy Phillips, and you should hire her.
Tiers
Reader of Words
$1 or more per month 21 patrons
Pledge $1 and you'll receive a weekly infusion of novel words. You can expect 700 to 1000 words, give or take a handful. The excerpt will be published on Wednesdays. Perfect for that mid-week pick-me-up. 
Inhaler of Inspiration
$5 or more per month 11 patrons
Pledge a fiver and get the weekly novel excerpt in addition to some extra notes about my process and inspirations. Fun fact: Many of the locations in the novel are based on real places! Peer into Toronto's mysteries--oh god, it's all sticky down there.
The Magnanimous Unicorn
$10 or more per month 4 patrons
You get the same stuff as the $5 reward. I just  like the number 10. Seriously though, I'll come up with something special for this tier eventually. Art, bonus writing ... I'm open to suggestions, too.
"Oh Lord thunderin' Jesus, what's this all about?"

My name's Nadia Oxford. Despite several attempts to alter my destiny as a child, I'm a writer. I've published many works of fiction and non-fiction since 2003.

I write about video games full-time at USgamer. I also contribute words to Luminous Echo, a wonderful D&D 5E, Anima, and Pathfinder-compatible compendium full of characters and settings you can use in your tabletop adventures. Meet them. Love them. Make them suffer.

I've previously written for Gamepro Magazine, 1UP.com, Nerve.com, About.com, PlayStation: The Official Magazine, Just Labs Magazine, and plen-T-moar.

I'm currently hip-deep in a novel, and I'd like to let you into my parlour as I finish writing and editing it.

I know you're a busy bee, so you can skip to the free sample.

"So, you're another schmuck with a novel, eh? Impress me."

Well, it doesn't have a name yet. Now that you're doubtlessly sold on this thing, let me tell you a little about it.

The novel takes place primarily in Northern Toronto, and places even more northern than Northern Toronto. Jamie, a newly-turned vampire, is having trouble adjusting to her new "life," but her assigned therapist, a kind-hearted incubus named Alexander, is helping her cope—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

(Oh yeah, um, this story is for audiences age 18+.)

Jamie and Alexander aren't the only "Specialties" hanging around town. There are other vampires, a few shape-shifters, and a smattering of demons. They're all corralled and monitored by a herd of unicorns. The unicorns keep a tight leash on their charges, and to dissent is to court death—or at least earn yourself a kick in the ass delivered by a pair of cloven hooves.



"Good thing I'm not a shit-disturber," thinks Jamie, who's content to retain as much of her old life as possible. She still goes to work, does her chores, and hangs out in "Vampire House," a run-down strawberry box house that serves as a kind of waypoint for other Specialties in the area. There, in the damp cat-infested basement, they converge, drink Bloody Caesars, watch TV, play PlayStation, have voyeuristic sex, and bitch about the unicorns. Things aren't so bad if you follow the rules, satisfy your bloodlust in socially acceptable ways, and don't do anything to piss off the ponies in charge.

But Jamie comes to learn the unicorns just don't keep the Specialties in the city—they also keep their foes, the dragons, out of it. And that becomes a lot more difficult when an ancient serpent, the Grey King, returns to his old territory in Northern Ontario to slaughter male dragons and claim the females.

The long-exiled dragons are being pushed further south, and the unicorns aren't having it. Jamie soon finds herself responsible for a refugee dragon mother and her son, both of whom are being targeted by the Grey King and the unicorns.

Vampire House becomes divided over the turmoil. Jamie must decide if she wants to keep the peace with Alexander and her new friends, or if she wants to take a stand against the unicorns and lend a hand in sorting out the bad shit going down.

Fun ensues.

"If I smeared peanut butter on my keyboard and got my dog to lick it off, he'd probably write a Mortal Instruments rip-off novel in the process. What makes your 'modern fairy tale' so special?"

Well … it doesn't take itself too seriously, I think. Yes, there are serious moments, there are sexy moments, there are sad moments and dangerous moments. But the juxtaposition between the fantastic and the mundane is inherently ridiculous, and the characters aren't afraid to have a little fun with their situation.

There are some shout-outs to geek culture and nostalgia, for instance, but I'm done with the "Hey! Remember ALF?" elbow-jabs popular media feeds us nowadays. When I talk about geekery, I'm talking about a bisexual vampire snarking at a pansexual incubus for choosing Marie as his waifu in Persona 4 Golden ("I like her hat. Get off my dick").

Also, I think pissed-off dictator unicorns are an interesting plot device, but I'm biased.

"You've said the word 'sex' and variations thereof a few times already. Please tell me more about sex's role in this novel."


Yes, this novel certainly has adult situations. Sex is part of the narrative, but not the focus. There's nothing incredibly explicit; I'd describe it as vanilla with a cinnamon swirl. Warm and sweet with a little spice. There's a touch of kink, but nothing like Super Mario impregnating a lactating Sonic the Hedgehog ooooooor whatever.

The pairings I've written already include straight, bisexual, and pansexual characters. There will probably be more to come, hurr hurr.

If you want to find out if I'm any good at this sort of thing, you can check out my Archive of Our Own account.



"If I give this thing a chance, what'll I get?"


I'm tens of thousands of words into my second-ish draft of this thing. In fact, if you followed me on LiveJournal back in the day, you might remember my first draft. The second draft is more of a compete rewrite, I swear to all the gods. I'd sooner flush my head down a toilet than warm up that first draft and feed it to you again. Shudder.

If you contribute a buck, you'll sit in on the rest of the writing process. You'll get an excerpt once a week (maybe twice) that's approximately 700 – 1000 words.

If you contribute $5 or more, you'll have access to notes about my process, inspiration, writing tips, and other fun junk.

If you contribute more than $5, I'll kiss a piece of paper and mail it to you in an envelope. Well, no. But I'll be incredibly appreciative.

"Don't you have a full-time job? Why do you need more cash, you cash hog?"


Indeed, I do work full-time. I'm very lucky. But life is expensive, and I have health issues like fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, and other stomach fuckery that requires treatment and meds. Thankfully, Canadian health care covers a lot of my medical costs, but not all of them. That last slice is kind of important.

I also have debts and taxes to pay. tl;dr, Nadia needs more money. 👍👍👍

"Are you calling it quits on Tiny Girl, Tiny Games?"


Naw! Not on your life. Now, TGTG's role has definitely changed since I launched it: I initially wanted it to be a site dedicated to handheld gaming, since I kicked it off around the same time I lost my role as About.com's Guide to the Nintendo DS. But when I started working full-time at USgamer, I had less need for a writing showcase about portable games. Nowadays, TGTG mostly hosts essays I belt out off the top of my head. They're a bit rough, a bit unpolished, and therefore different from my work on USgamer.

TGTG serves a good purpose, and so it shall continue to serve that purpose. It's fun, and it's therapeutic. But I wanted to shift my Patreon to something not-gaming related, so I can give my Patrons something they don't normally see from me.

"Can I give you money without becoming a Patron?"


Watch how fast I don't say "no." You can buy me a Ko-Fi, or send money to my Paypal (nadiaoxford at gmail dot com).

If you donate, get in touch with me and we can see about giving you some words in exchange!

"I miiiight be convinced to throw a few bucks your way. Can you make like an ice cream shop and give me a sample?"


Yes. Because you invoked the holy name of ice cream, I bestow upon thee a thousand free words of my novel. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you decide to join me as I keep writing, editing, and distributing.

"One last thing. Who drew the awesome pictures on your Patreon page?"

They're by Amy Phillips, and you should hire her.

Recent posts by Nadia Oxford

Tiers
Reader of Words
$1 or more per month 21 patrons
Pledge $1 and you'll receive a weekly infusion of novel words. You can expect 700 to 1000 words, give or take a handful. The excerpt will be published on Wednesdays. Perfect for that mid-week pick-me-up. 
Inhaler of Inspiration
$5 or more per month 11 patrons
Pledge a fiver and get the weekly novel excerpt in addition to some extra notes about my process and inspirations. Fun fact: Many of the locations in the novel are based on real places! Peer into Toronto's mysteries--oh god, it's all sticky down there.
The Magnanimous Unicorn
$10 or more per month 4 patrons
You get the same stuff as the $5 reward. I just  like the number 10. Seriously though, I'll come up with something special for this tier eventually. Art, bonus writing ... I'm open to suggestions, too.