Hello friends! Welcome to my ramblings.
I just wanted to share a bit about what this song and video mean to me. Before I start, though, I want to talk a little bit about my thoughts on song meanings in general. Of course, every song begins with some original meaning for the songwriter--that first idea that sparked it into existence and allowed it to be a cohesive thought to explore and write about. However, in my opinion, that original intent of the song, while certainly important, is not necessarily the point. For me, the point lies in whatever that song could potentially mean to anyone, anywhere, at any given time. Music is so adaptable, and that's part of what makes it so powerful. If the song was written with love and sincerity and real feeling, those things--those genuine emotions in the song--are what people connect to. From there, each of us, including the songwriter, are free to bend it to fit our lives and experiences and take from it what we need to hear, what we need to be reminded of or celebrate or learn.
That said, isn't it fun to get a little glimpse into what a song was born from? As long as you promise to continue to let this song mean what it means to YOU (the ultimate point), then I permit you to go ahead and continue reading. :)
So, the song.
It was originally inspired by a rather perilous drive to a cabin in upstate New York. My friend, Kate McGill, and I were headed there for a writing retreat. It was dark. Very dark. My phone had no service. Upon arriving at the cabin, we discovered we had to basically drive straight up a very steep mountain. I gave it a shot and probably 30 feet into the excursion our wheels are spinning and the car is lurching backward and it occurs to me that we are NOT going to make it to the top (which we aren't even remotely close to) and that I am now going to have to somehow back down this steep steep VERY DARK mountain without losing control and just falling down it forever. We were two girls in the middle of nowhere in a pitch black night, potentially falling backwards down a mountain, so you know how that goes, before you know it we're both nervously and uncontrollably laughing--which is code for I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND WE MIGHT DIE AND I FEEL LIKE CRYING.
Anyway, the next day I decided perhaps this was something I could work with creatively. The experience had sat with me for a day by then and it was easier to reflect on it now that my life wasn't on the line. (Oh yeah--I eventually gunned it straight up the mountain through the dark, just barely dodging several giant trees and made it to the top. Victory!) Anyway, it got me thinking about how much I have relied on and been taken care of by my parents throughout my life--for help, for advice, for taking over when things get hard or scary--and how I'm now at this place where my life is very much in my own hands. When things get hard, I have to fix it. When I don't know what to do, it's up to me to figure it out. When I'm falling down a mountain backwards, only I can muster up the courage to hit the gas and get myself to the top. I started realizing that the strength and courage my parents possessed was already in me somewhere, just waiting to be tapped into.
"Oh Father" is a song about growing up, coming into your own, and exploring the unknown with a sense of bravery and adventure and really embracing your life, not running from it.
Now for the video.
Working on this video was a unique experience for me. The director, Erica Dasher, is one of my close friends. We'd spoken about collaborating for a while (she's an incredibly talented actress and writer) and it was pretty special to finally make that happen. We worked hard to find a concept that spoke to both of us and reflected both of our creative visions. Erica pushed me to explore my more feminine side and get out of my comfort zone a little, which was really good for me.
I spent a lot of my life being timid and withdrawn and afraid to be myself, and through the video we tried to capture my relatively newfound excitement in trying to live fearlessly and be me and live each moment to the fullest. Most lessons in life aren't learned the first time around, but rather slowly over time. Over the course of many chances, you chip away at whatever is holding you back, until finally you start to get it right and live the way you've always wanted to live.
Here are some fun facts about making the video:
- Set design was by another close friend of mine, Ryan Glennan. He is amazing.
- The video was edited by ANOTHER friend, Noel Diaz De Rivera, the director of my "Dear River" music video as well as Imaginary Future's "April" (which may be one of the best music videos of all time)
- The dancers were choreographed by our friend Lucy Mae Sunday. (She's the tall blond with short hair)
- The falling parts were done by me repeatedly jumping backwards onto a giant trampoline (not great for the neck)
- The video was shot at YouTube Space LA
- The clouds were assembled by myself and a handful of my closest friends at Erica's house, as spearheaded by Ryan
Well, wow, guys. I should probably let you get back to your lives now! Much love and thanks as always for listening, watching, reading, breathing, etc.
Kina
