I will give you screen credits on a video on the main PLA channel at least once per month. At some point in the video, there will be credits for things like "Executive Producer" or "Key Grip" or whatever and I will lie and give your name for these credits. Nobody will ever know that you didn't really write and direct an 8 minute prank phone call. It will be our little secret. This will be a name only, not a link to anything. A personal name would be best, but I can probably do a business name if you really want me to.
I will put your graphic or text link in 1 post per month on phonelosers.org. By post, I mean it will appear in the main content area, along with a new show post or other article that you find on the site. The graphic can't be larger than 500 x 150. Maybe 200 if you're nice. It will be a graphic only (no Flash) and it can be an animated GIF as long as it's not too annoying. The good thing about your link appearing in a post (as opposed to in the sidebar) is that it will probably remain on the website forever, instead of just being a monthly thing. People will be finding your link there for years to come. I probably won't list any links for porn, gambling, hate, meds or sites that dishonor my family name.
I will put a rotating text or graphic link to something of yours in the sidebar of phonelosers.org. By rotating, I mean it will display randomly with other links, so it will show up every few times that the page loads and it will be displayed on most of the pages on phonelosers.org. If it's a graphic, it will need to be 200 x 200 or smaller. It will be a graphic only (no Flash) and it can be an animated GIF as long as it's not too annoying. I probably won't list any links for porn, gambling, hate, meds or sites that dishonor my family name.
You can sponsor a show! I will say "This show is sponsored by ________." at least once during the show and I will probably blame you for anything that goes wrong in the show. I will also let you name the show if you want to.
I will record a personalized voicemail or answering machine greeting for you.
I will follow you on the @phonelosers Twitter, even if I hate you.
You get access to our members-only feed on Patreon
I will mail you an occasional care package, including random PLA things like stickers, buttons, miscellaneous papers, ellerbucks, business cards, promotional materials, and other random things that I always throw in with PLA packages.
My fingerprints, all over these items, which you can use to commit fraud and/or to frame me for crimes.
You help to change the world
You get happiness and enlightenment
You will be mailed a physical ticket that grants you admission into Heaven
You still get my personal guarantee that you get into Heaven, even if you lose the ticket
You will have good karma