This tutorial comes courtesy of episode 123 of The Taylor Stevens Show and is part two of a three-part series on how to extract a scene's essence and save it from over description.
In the first episode we focused on paring away excess description to discover each paragraph's essence. The process eliminated about half the word count and gave us the basis for a second draft.
Based on those suggestions, the author submitted a rewrite.
In this second episode we begin fresh with the rewrite and begin the work of tightening up the scene. Here we focus on sentence structure and word usage by looking at:
~~ Cutting away redundancies.
~~ How to increase sentence weight by changing word choice.
~~ Word precision and why it matters.
~~ Tricky and hard to spot point-of-view head hopping.
~~ Where we can say less with more.
~~ Situations where word order can become problematic.
~~ Situations where word order can strengthen the scene.
In this episode we found and highlighted the potential pitfalls and need-work areas and challenged listeners and viewers with the homework assignment of fixing these highlighted issues in their own way.
In the next episode we'll go back over the material line by line with potential fixes. These will double as a reference to which listeners and viewers can compare their own homework notes.