I kept thinking, ok, things will be better in a day or two and then I'll manage to release an episode. Yet, in a battle of Cloe vs. the world, naturally world is winning. XD
Between a sudden business trip, stomach cramps, repeated appearances of a blue screen of death, and practically living on aspirin and coffee, I had simply no room to breathe let alone work on Aethernea.
The worst thing about it all was that I felt too ashamed to come on Patreon and say "Hey guys, sorry, no episode yet." and by extension avoided the discord channel like the plague. The thought of how I didn't manage to write any new episodes and how unfair and saddening it must be for you guys was enough to keep me awake at night in a mix of anxiety and depression. Which naturally contributed to me feeling dead in the morning and thus even less likely to write. An endless cycle of misery. T-T
The fact that in the previous weeks there was barely any sunlight (as it's common in winter) didn't help out. When there is no sunlight I am no different from a brain-dead vegetable that can barely keep my eyes open. -.-
Aaaaaaand I just realized that this condition is called seasonal affective disorder. (Thank you google.)
How come none of my doctors mentioned anything about it in the 26 years of my life I've been struggling with a severe case of SAD? OTL
Just ordered a SAD lamp. There is hope for me yet. Maybe after that I'll get some courage to schedule a doctor's appointment (I dread making phone calls...)
I should probably do some indoor exercise too, that should help increase my serotonin levels.
I am so very sorry for going AWOL.
Very, deeply sorry!
I wish I could promise it won't happen ever again. But I can't promise something that I am not sure I'll be able to keep. T-T The only thing I can promise is that I'll always come back. (Unless I suddenly die. But what are the chances of that happening?)
So, sorry everyone. For this delay, and future delays too. I am a deeply flawed person with horrible time management skills, and a rather strange variety of social anxiety.
What I mean when I say strange is that I'm actually not anxious while interacting with people but anxious about the thought of interacting with people which makes me avoid interaction, which is just as ridiculous as it sounds. I'm not a shy person, on the contrary, I am rather honest, lively, happy and confident the majority of the time. I don't feel anxious or bad while talking to people, on the contrary, I feel happy. Yet, inexplicably, I am that person that will turn her head away at the street and pretend I haven't seen someone familiar, come up with excuses to not go out to get coffee with colleagues, avoid calling anyone on the phone, and happily spend my days alone in front of my laptop. How can I be so confusing and contradictory? ><
Anyway, you guys that have been supporting me on Patreon the previous month, don't worry, I will extend your access to patron-only episodes for this entire month regardless of whether you have pledged this month or not.
Here are your two new episodes:
There are some cute, heartwarming moments coming up in these two episodes. I hope it will cheer you up a bit.
...And then there will be some gore... but hey, the gore will pass soon and the warm fuzzy moments will return. XD
We are almost done with Nelaira's story that has been boring some of you guys, and we are finally moving onto the part of the story where you can finally see how it all relates to Kiel and Elaru.
I currently have no plans to include any long-running parallel events in the future, so the story will exclusively follow Kiel and Elaru with occasional flashbacks to their past or short switches of point of view to other characters.