This tutorial comes courtesy of episode 124 of The Taylor Stevens Show and is part three of a three-part series on how to extract a scene's essence and save it from over description.
In the first episode we focused on paring away excess description to discover each paragraph's essence. The process eliminated about half the word count and gave us the basis for a second draft.
In the second episode we began fresh with the new draft and did a line by line highlight of potential sentence structure and word usage issues to create a working copy for a line edited rewrite.
In this third episode we go segment by segment with suggestions on how to fix each issue. We learn:
~~ Why it's so important to get characters in motion.
~~ How to create compelling description through character motion.
~~ How to convert info dumping into engaging story.
~~ How to use inner dialogue and character motion to transition between scene segments and avoid reading jolts.
~~ How to rearrange elements for maximim effect.
~~ How to make subtle word changes for enormous impact.
~~ And a reminder that craft is hard--even for someone whose been doing it as long as I have--so don't beat up on yourself if you struggle.