HACK THE CRAFT: Line by Line Examples on Restructuring Word Order for Maximum Impact
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This tutorial comes courtesy of episode 131 of The Taylor Stevens Show. It is part 3 of a 3 part series that started with roughly 1200 words taken from within chapter 5 of a work-in-progress contemporary romance. 

Parts 1 and 2 are found in this tutorial. There, we go over the material line by line highlighting the various areas that would benefit from a rewrite.  For those ready to take their craft to the next level it provided a hands-on challenge to do your own rewrite before moving on to the potential solutions found here.

In this tutorial we go back over the material segment by segment with before-and-after solutions. For those that did the homework assigment this is an opportunity to compare your reworked material against mine, analyze what I did on a line by line basis, and discover what works best for your particular style and why. 

We had a lot of ground to cover in limited time so the tutorial moves rather quickly, focusing on the bigger changes and leaving off discussion about smaller line editing type tweaks that work together with the bigger stuff to make the before-and-after what it is. You'll get max benefit on this tutorial and be able to spot the smaller tweaks if you pause between segments to do your own line by line analysis of original vs. rewrite. 

In this series our primary focus is on: 

~~ How to spot out-of-order character movements.

~~ How to reorder elements within a sentence or paragraph for clarity and emotional impact.

~~ How paragraph breaks and white space can become one of your most powerful writing tools. 

~~ How converting vague words into action can transform a scene.

~~ How to write a scene as your character sees it and why this is so important. 

~~ The ultimate goal is maximum reading clarity.