Hello, Pun Pals and New Friends!

Welcome to SATURDAY MATINEE in GRAND PUNWICK, also known as GRAND PUNWICK MYSTERY THEATER!

If you’ve been around a while, you already may be familiar with DASH AND DOTTIE, my married detective couple modelled after THE THIN MAN film series featuring William Powell and Myrna Loy. Dash & Dottie were essentially their own reward level here on this Patreon, and working on their stories has spawned a bit of a new idea.

Dash and Dottie are being joined by a new series and the level is being rebranded SATURDAY MATINEE or GRAND PUNWICK MYSTERY THEATER (GPMT)!

GPMT is a rotating series of short stories and novellas taking place in Grand Punwick’s past. The stories will feature homages to classic mystery films of the 1930s, 40s, 50s, and 60s, and told in a “Cliffhanger” format popularized by the film serials of the same period. GPMT was intended to be an “Early Access” Patreon Exclusive, followed by the stories published in anthologies up to a year later. That plan has changed.

I have enjoyed writing these stories so much that I am adding them to my “Pitch Portfolio,” which means that ALL GPMT stories will remain Patreon Digital Exclusives in perpetuity!

If you are reading this and you are NOT a member of our Patreon Membership, and you want to read these exclusive stories, here is what you get at the GPMT “SATURDAY MATINEE” membership level:

• A bi-weekly digest of my artwork produced over those two weeks
• A bi-weekly Behind-the-Scenes newsletter about a variety of topics, including self-publishing, book production, running a small business, and more
• A quarterly “Perks Pack” mailed to members which includes stickers, mini prints and more
• Early Access to any other posts (such as the ICRVN blog, or future YouTube videos when possible)
• Full Access to the Dash & Dottie and Countess archives, plus new chapters sent via Email every Saturday
• And More, all for just $10 per month!

Go to the front page of this Patreon to sign up today – and note that if you sign up for a year, you get one month free!

The GPMT stories are being shared in the “Cliffhanger” format, with one chapter released each week. The Cliffhanger formula dominated movie houses on Saturday afternoons and was so successful in guaranteeing return business that it was adopted by television and comic books to ensure viewers and readers would come back for the next episode or issue. When I was young child, a local television station replicated the 1930s Matinee experience by airing a mystery film, a western, two or three cartoons, and a chapter from a Cliffhanger serial. (A similar programming setup, called Matinee At The Bijou, was packaged and sold to public television stations nationwide, but that show only featured one film, one serial chapter, and one cartoon.)

It was this regular Saturday television programming that introduced me to Kirk Alyn as Superman well before George Reeves or even Christopher Reeve, Robert Lowery as Batman before Adam West, and even Commander Cody of the Rocket Men long before Dave Stevens’ Rocketeer.

While it’s not entirely possible to replicate that experience I had as a young child in the written word, I do hope that the manner in which I tell these stories and share them does at least in some small way give you the same thrill and joy I got when I first watched those cliffhangers of old, or when I experienced THE THIN MAN films for the first time.

As I mentioned before, GPMT features two alternating serials: the aforementioned Adventures of Dash & Dottie, and the newest series, The Countess.

Dash and Dottie is my love letter to Nick and Nora Charles, or, more appropriately, to William Powell and Myrna Loy, the actors who portrayed the detective couple in six feature films from 1934 to 1947. Having watched the series several hundred (yes, hundred) times since that first viewing roughly 30 years ago, it’s safe to say the “Comedy Noir” or “Lighthearted Noir” genre is my favorite. Dash & Dottie are centered right in that genre, with quick banter between Dash, the retired detective, and Dottie, his loving and adventure-seeking wife who often goads him into helping the police with their cases. The series will often shift settings across the country, moving outside of Grand Punwick proper, but always staying in the larger world we have created for all of our characters

The Countess is my version of a common 1930s short story trope, the thief with a heart of gold, very common in stories of the time. The trope was led by several successful book and film series, including Maurice Leblanc’s Lupin, Louis Vance’s The Lone Wolf, and the most well-known of all, Leslie Charteris’ The Saint. With The Countess, however, I changed one constant of nearly all of those 1930s and 1940s mystery series: Roughly 95% of all those mystery film series starred a male protagonist. The Countess’ adventures take place in a more ambiguous time, but will be recognizable to readers as the 1960s, similar to the era in which Roger Moore’s The Saint television series was produced.

It is entirely possible that in the future I may come up with another character to add to the GPMT stable, but until then, Dash & Dottie and The Countess will alternate. The stories will be told one chapter a week on this very Patreon page, every Saturday at Noon Eastern, with breaks in between each story and on specific holiday or work weekends, roughly 6 or so a year.

I hope you have enjoyed DASH AND DOTTIE if you are a subscriber, and if not, I hope you sign up to receive their adventures and enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them. In the meantime, enjoy this preview of next week’s opening chapter of the first COUNTESS tale, “The Wily Blackmailer!”

THE COUNTESS: THE WILY BLACKMAILER

CHAPTER ONE

The soft rumble of waves crashing into the shore was interrupted occasionally by the clatter of glasses, cups, and small plates being placed on little, round glass tables next to the various guests at the hotel strategically placed along the beach. While not the most expensive hotel in the city – that would be the Grand in the city center which also plays host to the largest casino in the city and is owned by the country’s Royal Family – this hotel was certainly one of its finest.

Next to those little, round glass tables were lounge chairs which allowed their users to sit upright at the table or lie back and relax – either to sunbathe or nap softly – whichever the occupant preferred. Weaving in between the tables was a small army of waiters and concierge catering to the whims – mostly trivial – of the hotel guests.

One of these guests was a tall, lithe canine. She bore long, deep ginger fur which caught the sunlight just right to shine like reddish gold. Her hair was brushed back and swept to her left side, her long snout narrowing to her cold nose. While it looked as if she were napping, her ears were alert. She was someone who did not appreciate being surprised. Jet black sunglasses covered her eyes, so it was impossible to tell if she were awake or not, until a large shadow covered her as a figure moved between her and the sun.

“Do you mind?” the canine said softly but sternly. “I’m using that.”

The shadow moved as its owner sat down in the other chair at the canine’s table.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than waste time with me, Kelly?” the canine asked without physically acknowledging her visitor.

The visitor, a stout looking horse whose mane was starting to grey, removed his hat and waved a hoof to the nearest waiter. Once the waiter was in earshot, the horse simply said, “Coffee, and another of whatever the lady was having.”  The waiter nodded and bowed, and scurried off. A few minutes later, the waiter returned with coffee, a small container of cream, a small pot of sugar cubes, and a tall glass filled with an alcoholic drink of some sort. The horse pinched a sugar cube from the pot and started crunching on it while he added two more to his coffee before adding cream to the brew and stirring it. He took a sip and set the mug back down before getting up to remove his long coat, draping over the chair’s back, then sitting back down to continue his coffee. “I know why you’re here, Grace.”

Grace slowly sat up, adjusting the back of her chair to meet up with her back and she did. She took a sip from her drink, and as she set the glass back down, arched an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side a bit. “Do tell, Dear Kelly. I was under the distinct impression I was here to relax.”

Kelly leaned into his elbow, now propped on the table next to his coffee. He popped another sugar cube into his mouth and chewed on it. “Now, what could you possibly need to relax from, my Dear? You don’t work? Unless you’re planning something.”

Grace smiled. The wind picked up slightly, blowing her long hair around her face. She shook her head slightly to clear her hair from her face as she sipped her drink. “My Dear Lieutenant…”

“You can’t call me that. Not anymore, Grace.”

“You haven’t left Shetland Yard, have you, Lieu…Kelly?” Grace said, actually surprised, and sitting up straighter in her seat.

Kelly smiled. “Sorry to disappoint you, Grace, but I’m not a Lieutenant anymore…because it’s Chief Inspector now. And I get to set my own agenda.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means, Dear Grace, that you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me, until we finally catch you red-pawed.”

Grace held out her paw, flared her toes, and wiggled them. “They already are red, my Dear Inspector.”

“You know what I mean, Grace.”

“Well, I know some ladies who might not mind having someone like you around all the time.”

“Not you, Grace.”

“And why not me,” Grace asked, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

“Not while there is a one-million pound diamond necklace in the hotel safe. And the hotel manager called to tell me about it…and you.”

_________________________

"The Wily Blackmailer," the debut story of THE COUNTESS, starts January 22, 2022 at NOON Eastern right here, only on patreon.com/jrobertdeans 

Members, check back next week at Noon Eastern for the rest of Chapter One of The Wily Blackmailer! Not a member, but want to keep reading? Sign up for the Saturday Matinee level today!

Cheers!

JRD