Digging into deep background to restart
*****NOT FOR THOSE WHO WANT ONLY THE STORY!

I am happy to announce the move is over for now, and the basics on my computer (Scrivener, and access to my own words in the NETHERWORLD Scrivener project) are restored.

I don't know where to start, which is delaying getting to the writing.

One of the things I do when this happens is to go read something, anything that seems it might get me re-settled. This time I picked a section labeled INTERNAL VALIDATION, since I've battled in the past with wondering whether I should do this (writing, and writing this story) at all.

I'm happy to say that I will write it unless the Good Lord takes me home before I'm finished, or removes my ability to write, so that's not a problem, but the contents intrigued me, and I picked a portion to share for this post.

It may bounce around through the whole trilogy, and I'll remove any spoilers, but my plotting has always been for Pride's Children as a single story - from beginning to end. Otherwise the plot doesn't make sense to me, and I'm not compelled to do the work.

Enough blather.

-----------

May 29, 2014 at 9:36 AM

...I am sad.

I go to write Loving Andrew in Spite of His Flaws.


July 2, 2014 at 10:25 AM

I must confess to having gotten a good idea from [Donald] Maass’s WU column today: infuse the current scene, Andrew’s entry into Act 3, with his greatest need.

The whole reason I got into this particular book was an identification of that greatest need, that wounded vulnerability that I see, a need for love, acceptance, and stability - but it contrasts strongly with the need to be top dog and best at what he does that drives him.

And which I ultimately satisfy - with someone who has as great a need - but won’t accept counterfeit versions of it.

THIS is what PC is all about, and if I can’t write that into Andrew’s scenes, in HIS pov, from his soul to the reader, I have failed.


I don’t care if it is, ‘When the pupil is ready (me), the teacher/master will appear.’ Maass’ instincts are solid.

It must be incredibly frustrating to have that instinct - and not be able to create it in your own writing.


I don’t have that problem (or a tiny ego, regardless of what I say).

I HAVE that need, and I CAN write it.

It just takes a little digging in how to express it - and then how NOT to be heavy-handed about expressing it.

It is the Tristan-and-Isolde need. The Romeo-and-Juliet need. The need of romantic fiction, of tragedy, of potential death.

The need of the soulmate - when the ego is too huge to even allow a soulmate, because the soulmate must be both satisfying - and subservient to one’s needs, and that is impossible.


Ultimately, it is the need for God, misdirected at humans - because as humans we are animals, and driven to mate, not celibacy. It is what He has given us.

So we are at war our entire life. And our whole life we seek.


We want, we don’t get, we want even more.


Recognition of that need is a necessary first step toward it, and I seek to make that recognition patent in my characters.

It is hormonal in the young tragic lovers - they don’t actually know anything about each other, and real life, tragedy, and death will strain it to the breaking point in many couples.


That is Life.

None of us get out alive.


That longing, yearning is what drives writers of fiction to create ways in which it is satisfied or not, but is subliminally obvious to a reader.


Now go write the damned thing in Andrew’s pov. 


He wants. He needs. He seeks. He longs for. He yearns for. And he doesn’t think he can have it (like Peter [Lord Peter Wimsey, from the Dorothy L. Sayers mysteries], who is very clear that he has had so much in life, he doesn’t feel he deserves it - something which eventually gets through to Harriet [Vane]). That vulnerability to another is what we want to read about - but not obviously! We want to feel that it is ours, alone. That we’ve discovered it, and are the only ones who see it in this crass world of ours.


July 2, 2014 at 10:56 AM

I get to use this need, selfishly, to write - because I can - and the world will see it and needs it and won’t know how I do it but will want it.

It is hormonal, even in me - and that is not bad. We ARE driven that way, as long as we still have enough yearning in us.


It gets beaten out of us, eventually, by illness and death, at least on this plane. I suspect we just get tired - even if everything else works right.

Some of us slip away quietly, others suddenly, but the lucky ones get to see where this is directed - toward our Maker - before they die.


Thank you, Lord, for making me see even this tiny bit of what it is to want to be reunited with You.

---------

And that's it; the return-to-Patreon-posts post. I'll leave it public - time enough when I'm producing regularly to publish for patrons only.

I thank you for your indulgence, and promise not to do a major move ever again.