LET'S MAKE SOME NOISE aka The most cursed animation.

This is something I stumbled upon by accident while making page 74.

The idea was simple: "tv noise" + a few colored specles to make it look like visual signal was cut off.

Okay. It's super easily done. Not that many colors involved. I fully expected this to be like 100 KB because there's only a couple of layers with noise, couple of layers with blue dots, blue overlay, and I made only 4 frames. So, I exported the gif from CSP and it's..... 1,5 MEGABYTES???! (74noline.gif attached).

OKAY, I thought. I immediately suspected that the problem was in how many pixels in each frame were changing. Technically, every pixel was being animated because NOISE. I thought, maybe if I could leave some areas dark it would result in less colours and less animation overall? (wrong) So I added this dark moving line to simulate screen refresh, which also looked very nice, but the output was.... 2,47 MEGABYTES??????!!! whwHAT?? (74o.gif)

Thing is, CSP doesn't recognize similar frames as one if they're under different keyframes, so I knew that if I opened this in Photoshop and reduced the number of frames, then it could go down in size dramatically. However, CSP also adds transparency to gifs, which when removed increases file size. And I DO remove it every time because sometimes it can add unwanted visual noise. So, eh, who knows, it could grow bigger, it could grow smaller.

With only three frames and at the best setting the size has been reduced to 1.1MB:

But still, this much for three frames??? Get out. I pushed the quality to the edge and
with no dither, 100% loss, and half the colours I managed to squeeze it to 286 KB!


I thought about this for awhile and realized that of course the biggest issue here is the fact that each pixel in each frame changes, and if there is any sort of colour spectrum involved it would make matters worse. GIF would store this data for each pixel and become incredibly bloated.

So, I thought, ok, let's make a gif with just black and white colour, no dither, 3 frames and a small circle that moves around. That shouldn't be big, right? This file is just 2 KB:

But what if I make this dot blurry on the edges and add another dot in grey, which would result in some colours from grayscale spectrum being added. So, I had to adjust export to 100% dither, 8 colours, and it's 2,92 KB:

Yeah, not bad! LET'S MAKE IT WORSE, right? Full frame filled with monochrome noise and SUDDENLY

cAN YOU SEE IT??? Let me spell this out for you: 8 colors, 3 frames, 0 loss, dithered = 351KB. That's what... 117% bigger? Jesus Christ.

Let's see what it's like at 256 colors:

698 KB???? 

No fucking thanks. 

Ok, one last look at this abomination at 4 colors, no dither and 100% loss:

250 KB??? That's as much as my blue noise!


Imagine if the noise wasn't monochrome? Actually, don't. Here's my test for that too!

It's twice as big as the monochrome noise at the same setting! Yeah, I told you.

And this is the lowest you can go with the settings before it starts distorting. It's 389KB even when mercilessly reduced to almost nothing.


That's a good question. Because file size could be a lot smaller.

I use some super generic settings to render videos in Photoshop. Problem is, they end up a bit large and I recompress them with Handbrake afterwards. I've no idea what settings CSP uses because it doesn't let you change those but files are usually smaller.

But here's the thing. It doesn't get better from here. Get ready for more bullshit.

I forgot to set the delay at first. That's fine, but you won't see how frames change in the render. Software usually skips over frames really fast, especially if there's only two of them. I could adjust the frame rate, but it doesn't make things much better if your frame delay is set to 0 in PS. Anyway, here's the settings window:

So, monochrome noise with no delay resulted in a better bitrate but also... 531 KB? O kay.

Then I set delay to 0,1 sec. If I had to export the file for some sort of use this would be necessary. And Photoshop... dramatically dropped bitrate?? But also the file is only 235 KB??? o k a y.

Both versions look the same:

Just the same ol' cursed noise.

Colored noise has THE SAME file sizes at 0 and 0.1 delay, BUT

Bitrate drop is really visible. This is 0 delay:

This is 0.1 sec:

Photoshop, what the actual fuck?? x))

CSP performed even worse in size. It rendered both monochrome and colored versions at over 800 KB. However, visually both files are great.


Noise sucks.

Chaos takes up space and wastes resources.

My original idea was much better.