Feb 15, 2020

After getting away from his cruel father's tyranny, Randall has to learn how to live again and accept the person he was meant to be - with a little help of certain someone...


An empty shell. That's all the twenty-five year old Randall now is. Growing up as gay in a household where gay people are hated, he had to learn to act someone else in order to survive. After growing up being abused and humiliated by his homophobic father, he's forgotten the person he once was. Unable to feel or create any kind of relationships, Randall is repeating the same pattern every day: go to work, work out, watch TV and drink, struggling to hold onto his will to live.

When a gay bar opens its doors in his neighborhood, the fragile balance he has created with himself is in danger of being destroyed when his true self is trying to break free.

And to make things worse, there is a guy at his gym. A kind guy with a nice voice, who likes talking people's ears off. A guy who can see his suffering and is willing to do whatever it takes to help him.

A guy who is making Randall to feel once again.

(Warning, this novel contains verbal and physical abuse!)

Chapter Selection

1. Torment | Free

2. Freedom | Free

3. Meeting Him | Free

4. Nightmare | Free

5. Fearful Eyes | Free

6. Crashing

7. To Stay Sane

8. Not Well

9. Silent Plea

10. Letting Closer

11. Breaking Point

12. To End It All

13. Saved by Him

14. To Make Things Right

15. Trust in Him

16. In Need of Help

17. Back in Therapy

18. Quiet Humming

19. Midnight Talk

20. To Be Happy

21. Held by Him

22. Feelings Are Complicated

23. Battle of Voices

24. Empty Shelter

25. Talking

26. Different Language

27. T-Shirt

28. Something Personal

29. New Energy

30. Step into the Unknown

31. Comfort

32. Whatever It Takes

33. The Whole Point

34. Nine Years Lost

35. Worst Fear

36. No More Pretending 

37. Right Direction

38. Lazy Day

39. Getting Nowhere

40. New Tools

41. No One Else

42. The Date

43. Trust

44. The First Time

45. Better Than Ever

46. Corner

47. Another First

48. Under the Flag

49. Breaking Free

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