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I interview Tim Ferriss for The Art of Asking Everything Podcast. {official thing}

{public post}

Hi Loves.....

Long story short: my new "Art of Asking Everything" podcast episode, in which I interview best-selling author and mega-podcaster Tim Ferriss is OUT everywhere you get your podcasts. 

This one has a long, long and very personal intro....if you've never listened to the podcast before, this is a really good one to start with.

It's here, and the top episode....ANYWHERE you get your podcasts:

I'm burning it at both ends at the moment but the finish line is in sight. 

I know I keep saying that, but it feels real. I will be able to say more soon, a break is coming. 

For right now, my life is mostly just mothering and trying to hold it all together, failing to get to even the start of my to-do list on most days. 

I know you all understand, and for that....I thank you, deeply.

Thank you for being my patrons. Thank you for being here, period.


I'm a little late in "thinging" this - because the podcast came out about 24 hours ago - but I've been with ash and dealing with mundane domestic tasks that will someday be chronicled in my bestselling pandemic memoir, "The Year I Gave In and Gfucking Gave Up: Ego, Laughable Plans, Solo Parenting and One Woman's Struggle to Maintain Her Identity Against Her Better Judgement". I have no doubt that "pandemic memoir" is going to be the top-selling genre of 2025) 

The podcast is just getting better and better and better and better.

A few days ago I did a live instagram chat with last week's guest, Storm Large, and it was SO SO GOOD. Over an hour of boobs and truth:

But noted, from you, from that chat, and from myself: instagram is not as good as crowdcast. There was tons of spam in the comments and it didn't have the beautiful, intimate and inteligent feel of the patron-only crowdcasts. So lesson learned. It was good, and I'm sure I'll chat with pals on instagram when it's mertied, but for the more important and intelligent conversations, to crowdcast, with a patron password, we go. 

I owe you $10 folks a webcast, too. Stay tuned, we'll do one before the holidays. And I would like to do a big ol' crowdcast for the whole patreon sometime around the holidays.



I'm going to do something I've never done and just paste in my intro transcript here, because if you've never heard the podcast, I want you this. And if you go to the podcast, you'll hear it. So if you're going to listen to the podcast anyway, skip this.

This week’s episode is called “The Fear of No”, a conversation with Tim Ferriss. He’s a best-selling author and a massive podcaster, He’s published 3 best-selling books, The Four Hour Body, the Four Hour Work Week, and Tools of Titans, which coincidentally features a little section on me, and my weirdo husband, Neil Gaiman. I don’t feel like a Titan lately, I feel like an old piece of cabbage, but that’s okay.

All that aside, I actually consider Tim...a friend. We’ve spent enough time connecting outside of so-called work.

And the reason this episode feels really special is something a little strange happened a few months ago, so let me tell you about it.

This conversation between me and Tim was recorded what feels like a lifetime ago, it was in March of 2019, in Austin, Texas, at Tim’s house. I was there in Austin to promote my new record, There Will Be No Intermission, and I was just about to start this mega tour, that was gonna last a year. and Tim and I were both on each other’s podcasts. 

We sat down and, in the conversation with him {for his podcast}, I opened up about what I was doing on stage, what was I working on with this tour, and talking with him really candidly about having a miscarriage. What it felt like, and how it changed me. 

Tim is such a good podcaster, he’s such a good listener, and he’s so empathetic, and he asks such beautiful questions (which is why he’s a great podcaster). 

But I also found myself wondering...should I be sharing this? Am I going too far, especially for Tim’s podcasting crowd, because they’re so different from my crowd? I had this thing in my imagination that his crowd was mostly dudes, and people who wanted to hear about "health" and "working out".

And then a few months ago, I got an email from Tim - written to a small group - that took my breath away. 

The subject was ‘From Tim Ferriss: a unusual email.’

He said, “This is going to a short list of people, I rarely send emails like this, but this week is unique. On Monday night, I published the most important podcast episode I’ve ever published. It describes my healing journey after childhood sexual abuse from ages 2 to 4.”

And I remember just staring at the screen, thinking, this actually makes so much sense. Of course Tim could have a story like this. Because he’s been on such a rampage, all his adult life, to find the answers, to claw his way out of the dark, and his love of the extreme, and his capacity for truth and pain. It all came together in my head.

I’d always thought of Tim as The Dude. This ripped dude getting into ice baths, and doing extreme sports; a kind of modern tripper alpha male with a legion of dude followers who would Jump Off A Cliff if Tim Ferriss said it was a healthy, wise thing to do. 

And here’s Tim doing this. Being this vulnerable about his past. And I was so proud of him.

And I also just quietly laughed at myself for being afraid to talk about a miscarriage on his podcast. Because...what was I afraid of? 

Pain is pain. Grief is grief. It’s all so human, and so real.

It also sort of sparked something in my heart about the whole world, like if this guy can talk about this thing, god, what is possible?

And yet, I was sort of afraid to listen to that episode of his podcast, I kept putting it off.

I put it off listening to it until this past week, when I knew our episode was coming out, and I took a long, two hour walk, while Ash was in school, and listened to Tim talking with Debbie Millman, who is a mutual friend of ours. She also runs this long-standing, beautiful podcast called Design Matter, and also has her own traumatic story, and healing journey, that she shares in this episode with Tim, and her story is actually kind of intertwined with Tim’s, because she opened up about her story on his podcast. 

And I listened to the two of them scrape the barrels of their stories, and really tell the truth: about trauma, about therapy, about meds, about pain and sitting in it, and about what happens when you hit rock bottom of pain.

And I stopped at the end of it, and I thought: I am so lucky to know these people, and be in this particular world of podcasting and sharing, and storytelling.

These podcasts, and these conversations that we get to have with one another...they build something. They build this vast network, this safe, evolving kind of network of shared space and stories, where this sort of stuff isn’t taboo. And it also isn’t "sensationalized", the way it can be in the media. 

It’s just....real.

And I felt so honored that these people are the sorts of people I get to know, and that I get to call. That I get to text Tim and say "I’m so proud of you and Debbie for talking about that", and I get to interview these people, and talk about their desire to look under the rug, and to go deep into the dark, and do the work of healing, even though it’s so. Fucking. Hard. 

These people feel like a very special and important kind of family to me. 

And you, listening (or reading....) you are also part of that, now. 

And I hope that you will consider going and listening to Tim and Debbie’s conversation, too. It’s really long, it’s two hours. It's here:

....and it includes an extensive resource list, which is really important, of books, and links.

In one sense I sort of wish I had heard Tim’s story before we talked. 

But also, what we did talk about in this episode, it feels so profound now, listening to it through this filter. All the things we discussed about how you can’t avoid certain outcomes and truths, and our fear of rejection, and where that comes from in us. 

Just our fear of the word "no", especially when we’ve been through trauma. 

And how freeing it is to understand that you can ask for things, to ask for what you need. 

This is my favorite topic, asking. 

And especially this: how things don’t have to hurt. 

I feel like Tim and I, and so many people I know, come from that school of thinking, where we think things have to hurt. 

If you wanna be productive, it has to hurt. 

If you wanna be successful, it has to hurt. 

Oh my god, everybody. 

Tim, Debbie, my inner child, my artist friends especially...all of us.....maybe it doesn’t have to hurt so fucking much all the time to be good. 

You know?

Exhale. Let’s do this.

Tim Ferriss, everybody. Author, speaker, early-stage technology investor, fan of psychedelics, like yours truly, and host of one of the most popular podcasts in the world, The Tim Ferriss Show.....

Tim Ferriss has been listed as one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and one of Fortune’s “40 under 40.” He is an early-stage technology investor/advisor (Uber, Facebook, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ others) and the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers. The Observer and other media have called Tim “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, which is the first business/interview podcast to exceed 100 million downloads. It has now exceeded 500 million downloads.

he interviewed me for his show, too, twice actually. you can check it out on tim's website and wherever you find podcasts.

the first time was in march 2015:

and again in April 2019:

you can also watch our chat for his podcast from 2019 on youtube:

now, on to MY interview with tim for my podcast:


Here we go:

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST and SHARE it, please!...

audio for all of the podcast episodes are embedded on my website, including today's episode:


go here, select the podcast venue of your choice (i.e. apple podcasts), and click on the most recent episode.





this handy linktree has a round-up of how to tune into the podcast on some of the most popular players. we will have the audio embedded on each episode post on my website:


The Art of Asking Everything, Season 1, Episode 11

Tim Ferriss: The Fear of No


Amanda Palmer presents an intimate conversation with Tim Ferriss, recorded March 15, 2019 in Austin, TX.

Tim Ferriss is a best-selling author, speaker, early-stage technology investor, advisor, and host of one of the most popular podcasts in the world, The Tim Ferriss Show.

Tim’s books include, “The 4 Hour Workweek,” “The 4 Hour Body,” and, “Tools of Titans.”

He has two TED Talks: “Smash fear, learn anything” and “Why you should define your fears instead of your goals.”

In this interview we talk about how you can’t avoid some people taking it personally, the fear of the word "no", freeing yourself to ask anything, how you get what you negotiate for, inoculating yourself against dread, our love for the fast "no", and learning that being productive and successful doesn’t always have to hurt.

Tim's conversation with Debbie, "My Healing Journey After Childhood Abuse":

Debbie Millman's podcast, Design Matters:

My conversation with Tim, "Amanda Palmer on Creativity, Pain, and Art": for everything Tim – books, blog, and podcast.




tim has written 5 books, you can learn more about them here:

as a i said on the shadowbox:

Hey loves.

Tim has a buncha books out…but this is the only one I’ve read, and so this is the one I’m gonna recommend. Though I could toot my own goddamn horn, do a hair-flip, and mention that I’m in his other book, “Tools of Titans”.
Titan. Hahahaha. As I said in the podcast intro, I feel more like Wilted Cabbage lately. Whatever.

The Four Hour Body was gifted to me by Tim and sat on the shelf for a REALLY long time. Then…one day, I was moping about my flabby, weak, post-partem body and decided FUCK THIS, I HAVE TO DO A THING. And I was suddenly motivated to do a thing to get the strength in my body back. And I was like: wait, what Thing do I do? Just go vegan? Jog five miles a day? I have no time I have a child. What do I … do? Tim’s bnook sort of glared at me from the shelf. I was like: OK, Tim. I will read you.

And I basically picked up the book and followed the diet to the letter - a diet not for weight loss, but for general strength, clarity and health. It’s simply: very very low carb, almost no sugar (including juice and fruit), lots of veg and legumes…and one MASSIVE BINGE DAY a week to get your metabolism up.

I was strict about it. Even the two (!!!) glass of red wine drinking limit. I loved that one day a week, you gorge and go NUTS. I had never really tried eating 1000% guilt-free like that, except at holidays. It was a revelation. I could just enjoy pigging out, without the constant, small, niggling guilt.

I stuck to the diet for about 6 months, and I got my body out of the hell-realm it has slipped into. So yes…I’m a fan.

My breakfast bowl recipe, which I no longer make every morning (I’m back on croissants, and I can feel the difference) was pulled from this book.

Anyway…very happy to recommend this one, see what you think, and I think you’ll enjoy Tim’s very non-woo, non-bullshit writing style.

Anyone wanna commit to the regime for a month? Let’s start a support group

Here it BE:



Thank you so much to my guest, Tim Ferriss. You can listen to his huge podcast, The Tim Ferriss show. I’ve done a couple episodes of it, you can search that up, I’ll also link them in my post about this on the Patreon. And I do encourage you, if you can, to go listen to Tim’s beautiful episode that he did with Debbie Millman on his own show in September, called “My Healing Journey.” It’s just gorgeous.

I also would recommend you go see Tim’s TED talks, they’re pretty amazing. One of them is called Smash Fear, Learn Anything. And another one is called Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead of Your Goals, and they’re just so inspirational. His books are also fantastic, if you’re looking at getting your body in shape, The Four Hour Body is really good. My own breakfast bowls were inspired by Tim’s book, and you can go to his website for blogs and newsletters, and also thank you to Tim for actually recording personally this interview at his apartment in Austin.

For all the music that you heard in this podcast, you can go to

Many, many thanks as always to my incredible team. Hayley Rosenblum up first, who makes so many things possible, she’s the ghost in the machine in our Patreon, and she makes sure that so many things get done, words, pictures, my live chats, and so many things on the internet, I could not do this one without her, so thank you, Hayley.

My assistant, Michael McComiskey, makes sure that all of the trains run on time, and helps with correspondence and scheduling, and makes all the things happen, so thank you, Michael.

My London Merch Queen Alex Knight is also helping transcribe these podcasts, so that the conversations are accessible to everyone. Heartfelt thanks to Alex.

Kelly Welles, who is my new social media guru and mastermind, she’s been doing a fantastic job, so thank you Kelly.

And as always, my manager Jordan Verzar n Sydney, who brings everything and everyone together.

This podcast was produced by FannieCo.

And last but not least, this whole shebang, this whole podcast, would not be possible without patronage. At current count, I’ve got between 14 and 15,000 people making it possible for this podcast to have no advertisement, no sponsors, no censorship, no corporate bullshit! We are just the media, doing our thing.

Many special thanks to my high-rolling patrons, Simon Oliver, Saint Alexander, Birdie Black, Ruth Ann Harnisch, and Leela Cosgrove. Thank you guys so much especially for putting so much money into this bank.

Everyone else, please, if you wanna support all of my work, including keeping this podcast open and free, go to Patreon, becoming a supporting member. I also write blogs there, sometimes on the daily, sometimes a few times a week, and it’s a really beautiful community. And I sometimes do live follow-up chats with my guests, all of that happens through the Patreon, and I would love to see you there. The podcast usually comes out on Tuesday, we’ve got some amazing guests coming up, so follow the Patreon for all of that. Tim Minchin is coming up, Dan Savage is coming up next week, there’s so much good stuff in the line.

And the Patreon has all the extra photos and goodness and goodness, so go there, please, please, please. It’s a dollar a month, and it’s the least you can do to make sure that we can keep this all free and available.

To all of my patrons, thank you for making it possible, for everyone who listened, thank you so much. Keep on asking everything.



we've attached a pdf of the transcript of the podcast the patreon post. to view it, you can download it by visiting this patreon post on the web

(it's a hyperlink at the very bottom of the post with a little paper clip attachment symbol next to it)



because of you, as usual:

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