A powerful graffiti from Berlin.

When I saw this image on the wall, it reminded me of the many hurt souls in the world who feel defeated in the face of their personal pain. Many will struggle to look at this image as it invokes so many personal memories, and each person will interpret it in their own way through the prism of their own experiences. Sometimes, however, we need to rip off the band aid and acknowledge the wound underneath; we need to expose it to the light, let it breathe a bit, perhaps we need to clean it out and then re-dress it.

I work with many young clients who in their short lives they talk as if they have lived life times and wear their hurt on their sleeve, close to their surface as if each emotion is a deep cut. With such young clients is difficult to give them perspective, due to their lack of experience, and perhaps their eagerness to grow up, in the hopes that the hurt goes away. Some of those young clients do not have adults around who can provide perspective due to the adults themselves really hiding a hurt child within. The combination of a hurt soul raising another inexperienced and hurt soul can be, at times cause for more volatility than support. With such clients, I need to be able to address first the child within the adult before I can tend to the future adult within the child. Interesting right? How do you address the child in the adult before you address the future adult in the child? With love, care, empathy and support.

When was the last time you addressed things with the child within?

Have you ever written a letter to the child withing?

Have you hugged the child within?

Have you reassured him/her that this too shall pass, and that at that young age you did not have the right tools to address what was happening with you?

Have you reconciled things with your inner child and explained that perhaps you needed a bit more experience before you were ready to tackle some things?

Have you allowed the child within to shed the tears that the adults around him/her stopped him or her from shedding? Sometimes we need to cry and say our goodbyes to aspects of us and allow for growth in the same way as a seed will become a seedling, to a tiny plant to a big oak tree. When we look at nature and observe their stages of development, we never see a tree wanting to be a seedling, we never see a lion wanting to be a cub again, we don’t see an eagle wanting to be a chick again. If we observe the natural world, we will see that each animal or plant accepts their space and their developmental stage and adapts to the new growth, the new environment and passes on all that it is needed to the next generation including any new information that is vital to the survival of the species. In contrast as human beings, we need to learn from others to know what is happening to us or around us, and perhaps the adults around assume that we have the skills and knowledge to survive when in fact we are lacking so much knowledge that we get brilliant at hiding that lack via outbursts or behaviour.

Have you considered what skills you may not have been taught as a child or young adult before you were set loose on the world?

Have you ever considered if the emotional triggers are because you have not adapted well enough to the new environment?

Have you considered what makes life so hard that you crumble under the smallest of emotional burdens?

If you could be the parent to your own child self, what would you teach him/her that you think he or she would need to better adapt to the world?

Would you parent yourself differently if you were the parent to your self?

Would you hug your child self more?

Would you be kinder and more empathetic to your child self?

Would you set more or less boundaries with your child self?

How would you upskill your child self to be ready for anything?

What tools, powers, insight, connections would you provide your child so he or she can be supported/sustained later on in life?

As always join in the conversation in a comment, or journal your thoughts. We are ready to evolve, join us on the journey of discovery.